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jarvis05 · Apr 30, 2008, 10:53 AM

How Can A Father Gain Custody Of His Child, If U Have Evidence That The Mother Is Not Buting The Best Interest Of The Child First, We Have All The Evidence We Need, Are Biggest Problem Is That My Husband Makes Too much I Don't Work And We Have Our Own Child Together... what Do We Do And Where Do We Go From Here

ScottGem · Apr 30, 2008, 10:54 AM

Report the mother to children's services or petition the court for a change in custody.

jarvis05 · Apr 30, 2008, 01:52 PM

Okay good advise but we have went to children services a number of time, and another reason being is we would have gone to court with her about these issue, but we can not afford it and my husband make too much money for legal add so where do we go from here with this... we know this little girl need to get out of this situation and fast so how do we go about it

jarvis05 · Apr 30, 2008, 01:54 PM

Also with the costudy agreement they did not go to court and it was not presay done with a lawyer it was done with a medeator I know I spelt that wrong, so is the document legal and will it hold up in court

cdad · Apr 30, 2008, 07:00 PM

Many courts now have parents going to mediation before court when there is a custody issue. So yes the courts generally rule what the mediator says it should be. What state are you in ? You might be able to file the papers by yourself and file for hardship inorder to get the filing fees paid. What eminant danger do you feel the child is under ?

jarvis05 · Apr 30, 2008, 07:16 PM

I live in canada, ontario, so I know the law's are different in the states then us... I have witness to physical abuse as well as a lot more called cas on her but they did nothing about that... this little girl has had 6 vasinal infection in the last year and half and has moved back and forth from mother's boyfriends to mother's grandparents house 6 times in the last year and half and she is in school so that is affecting her school as you can amagine... her mother is suppose to be done with her ex but as I have just found out this week is see him behind are back and we are afriad what is going to back to this little girl she has been through enough and we would take her to court in a secound but we can not pay to go to court

JudyKayTee · May 1, 2008, 05:04 AM

Originally Posted by jarvis05

i live in canada, ontario, so i know the law's are different in the states then us....i have witness to physical abuse as well as a lot more called cas on her but they did nothing about that.....this little girl has had 6 vasinal infection in the last year and half and has moved back and forth from mother's boyfriends to mother's grandparents house 6 times in the last year and half and she is in school so that is affecting her school as u can amagine......her mother is suppose to be done with her ex but as i have just found out this week is see him behind are back and we are afriad what is going to back to this little girl she has been through enough and we would take her to court in a secound but we can not pay to go to court

If there is abuse and you care at all for this child you have to file a report with your local Child Protective Service Agency. It's not a matter of custody, it's a matter of protecting her.

A call to CPS is free and if you have witnessed the abuse you MUST call. If you have called before and nothing was done... call again... and again... and again.

ScottGem · May 1, 2008, 05:18 AM

As Judy said, you need to keep at CAS. Demand explanations as to why they have not removed the child with so much evidence of abuse. Get your own attorney to help you wade through the bueacracy.

jarvis05 · May 2, 2008, 09:55 AM

Yes I understand your concern for my step-daughter as do we feel this way also we have reported all we can at this point, the cas as told us that they have found nothing that show's that my husband daughter is in any situation of abuse, at this point it just waiting to see if we witness anymore, so we can continue on with reporting her... my real evidence I have is by email, so some reason long story but she gave me her email account passward and I have a lot of information on stuff that she has been writing to people and what people have been writing to her, I'm not sure yet how to use it or when I will be using it... but we have it when the timing is write... pretty much states that she is very depressed and can no longer take care of her daughter like she should be, but won't give her up because she can afford to because she get's so much for child support, baby bonous and so on... does anyone out there know what we should do with this information, I don't want to make a wrong move and blow are chances of finally after 4 years getting and saving this little girl... thanks you to everyone that has taken there time to respond to me questions

JudyKayTee · May 2, 2008, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by jarvis05

yes i understand your concern for my step-daughter as do we feel this way also we have reported all we can at this point, the cas as told us that they have found nothing that show's that my husband daughter is in any situation of abuse, at this point it just waiting to see if we witness anymore, so we can continue on with reporting her......my real evidence i have is by email, so some reason long story but she gave me her email account passward and i have a lot of information on stuff that she has been writing to people and what people have been writing to her, i'm not sure yet how to use it or when i will be using it.....but we have it when the timing is write.....pretty much states that she is very depressed and can no longer take care of her daughter like she should be, but won't give her up because she can afford to because she get's so much for child support, baby bonous and so on....does anyone out there know what we should do with this information, i dont' want to make a wrong move and blow are chances of finally after 4 years getting and saving this little girl.....thanks u to everyone that has taken there time to respond to me questions

I would be very, very careful about tapping into her e-mail account and using any of the info you discover in any fashion.

You have to wait until her BEHAVIOR - not words - endanger the child and then take her back in to Court for a change in custody.

jarvis05 · May 2, 2008, 11:53 AM

I am very careful about tapping into her email account I have only done it a couple times just for info and she has no idea what I have done and I don't plain on using it unless I have to, I will if it comes down to it... the greatest thing is that she emailed me the password so I have proof that she gave it to me and that I didn't hack into her account, I guess one point is that we finally know what has been really going on and we have soemthing to go by at least... another thing is we never went to court with her and we would have now taken her to court but we can not afford to and we make too much money to get legal aid we live in canada so iknow that the legal system is different in the states... does anyone else have any advice on how to take her to court with out costing any money or what to do to help us

JudyKayTee · May 2, 2008, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by jarvis05

I am very careful about tapping into her email account i have only done it a couple times just for info and she has no idea what i have done and i dont' plain on using it unless i have to, i will if it comes down to it.....the greatest thing is that she emailed me the password so i have proof that she gave it to me and that i didn't hack into her account, i guess one point is that we finally know what has been really going on and we have soemthing to go by at least.....another thing is we never went to court with her and we would have now taken her to court but we can not afford to and we make too much money to get legal aid we live in canada so iknow that the legal system is different in the states....does anyone else have any advice on how to take her to court with out costing any money or what to do to help us

Just a word of warning - be careful with that e-mail account. I've said it twice and I know you've heard me. I have to wonder why the mother would give you her password unless she planned on you using it and she's "feeding" you info. Won't be the first time I've heard that. Anyway -

Have you checked this website: Ministry of the Attorney General - A Guide to Family Procedures in the Ontario Court of Justice. Very, very comprehensive. I am not in Canada (unfortunately for the purpose of this thread) but this is a very self-explanatory site covering Ontario and support/custody matters. You do not need an Attorney to file the application. If you can keep your cool and present your case clearly and specifically I think you would have a very good chance of (depending on the evidence) getting custody. Take a look at the site - I wish I could find one for the US that is that good.

If you have a problem with the site, let me know and I'll condense it down for you or explain what is unfamiliar to you but there aren't too many "legal" terms and, as I said, I'm impressed by the site.

cdad · May 2, 2008, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by jarvis05

I am very careful about tapping into her email account i have only done it a couple times just for info and she has no idea what i have done and i dont' plain on using it unless i have to, i will if it comes down to it.....the greatest thing is that she emailed me the password so i have proof that she gave it to me and that i didn't hack into her account, i guess one point is that we finally know what has been really going on and we have soemthing to go by at least.....another thing is we never went to court with her and we would have now taken her to court but we can not afford to and we make too much money to get legal aid we live in canada so iknow that the legal system is different in the states....does anyone else have any advice on how to take her to court with out costing any money or what to do to help us

If Canada is anything like it is here then you are doing something illegal if you are tapping into her account. So anything you get from it can't be used in court because you didn't get it by proper means ( i.e. through the discovery process ). If that's what your using to base your claims of abuse then it won't hold water anywhere because she could simply be baiting you. Go with judy's advice and don't bother with the email junk anymore.