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rockingtntprod · Apr 29, 2008, 06:48 AM

Here is the situation... I have a brother in law that is in the middle of a divorce with a woman who is unreasonable on more than one level. She is a person who loves drama to the point that... she has told her son who is 12 that my son who is also 12, molested him when he was little... When in all reality my son was the victim of molestation when he was 3. Her son has gone to school and told everyone that this situation happen to him by my child, who attends the same school. My son is a straight A student and had many friends... That now is failing and losing friends by the day. I have had parents approach me to ask me about the situation, because we all play baseball in the same area and she has told the other parents that my child has done this to hers. Please help... I have talked to the police and they said they can't get involved in family situations. That my only option is hire and attorney and file a lawsuit for slander/ or deformation of character. Is this the correct recourse? If so, what do I need to get it started?

ScottGem · Apr 29, 2008, 06:52 AM

You need to consult an attorney. And yes the police gave you the correct information. They cannot get involved in this at this point. You have to file suit against this woman for slander. You can sue for the costs of counseling as well as for an order requiring her to admit she lied and to cease. You may also be able to sue for your attorney fees.

But you will need an attorney for all this so that's your next step; interviewing attornies and finding one to take the case.

JudyKayTee · Apr 29, 2008, 08:17 AM

Originally Posted by rockingtntprod

Here is the situation....I have a brother in law that is in the middle of a divorce with a woman who is unreasonable on more than one level. She is a person who loves drama to the point that...she has told her son who is 12 that my son who is also 12, molested him when he was little...When in all reality my son was the victim of molestation when he was 3. Her son has gone to school and told everyone that this situation happen to him by my child, who attends the same school. My son is a straight A student and had many friends...That now is failing and losing friends by the day. I have had parents approach me to ask me about the situation, because we all play baseball in the same area and she has told the other parents that my child has done this to hers. Please help...I have talked to the police and they said they can't get involved in family situations. That my only option is hire and attorney and file a lawsuit for slander/ or deformation of character. Is this the correct recourse? If so, what do I need to get it started?

I would believe the Police - what do you need to get started? Find an Attorney familiar with this type of lawsuit, go in and talk to him/her and he/she will tell you what you need in order to pursue the claim.

From another angle I'm surprised that your nephew is running around telling me he was molested, no matter who did the molesting. Most kids would hide this info so I don't know what the mindset is here.

rockingtntprod · Apr 29, 2008, 08:29 AM

I don't understand it either... Why would he... I will explain more... People that constantly need attention get it any way they can... By telling people this, he gets all the attention but for all the wrong reasons, LIKE MOTHER LIKE SON, since his mom is focused on other children instead of her own.

ScottGem · Apr 29, 2008, 08:29 AM

Another point, how does a 3 yr old molest another three yr old? Who in their right mind would believe that? Who would let 2 three year olds alone enough to even get to that point?

rockingtntprod · Apr 29, 2008, 08:37 AM

Not sure... I would not. However, like I said above my child was a victim when he was 3, but by a kid who was 12... It happened at the grandparents house, not mine. However, I just want this to all stop, before my son is ruined for life. I contacted an attorney I am going to see her on Monday to have a letter drawn up to cease and deceased (or however u spell it). My stress level is throw the roof, I worry from day to day when my son will reach his breaking point. I have tried to teach him to walk away and be the bigger person, but he feels that makes him look guilty if he doesn't stand up for himself.

ScottGem · Apr 29, 2008, 08:56 AM

I would tell him to answer anyone who asks about to respond, no it didn't happen. This was supposed to have happened when we were both three. Do you really think either of us even knew what molesting was when we were three? Or that 2 three year olds would be left alone? this charge is so stupid, I'm surprised you would believe it.

rockingtntprod · Apr 29, 2008, 09:03 AM

I know at 3 you don't know. That is why her child is believing that my child did it to him. You don't remember much from when you are that little. I do NOT believe it... I KNOW for a fact it is NOT true. However, I am trying to get advice to the slander charges, because she is ruining my child by says this. I am wanting to save my sons name. There isn't an age on when she is telling her son it happened... She just says that it happened when they where little. My son was a victim... like I said above when he was 3, but it didn't involve her child. I am confused by you response... Are you saying that my charges are stupid?

JudyKayTee · Apr 29, 2008, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by rockingtntprod

I know at 3 you don't know. That is why her child is believing that my child did it to him. You don't remember much from when you are that little. I do NOT beleive it....I KNOW for a fact it is NOT true. However, I am trying to get advice to the slander charges, because she is ruining my child by says this. I am wanting to save my sons name. There isn't an age on when she is telling her son it happened...She just says that it happened when they where little. My son was a victim...like I said above when he was 3, but it didn't involve her child. I am confused by you response...Are you saying that my charges are stupid?

I gave you advice on the slander lawsuit - all of this does not change that advice.

If I may speak for Scott he is suggesting that your SON say to people that he (your son) is surprised anyone would believe this "charge" (accusation against him) because they were just little kids and who remembers and I'd throw in, "It never happened."

Sorry, Scott, who can and will speak for himself.

Scott is most definitely NOT saying that the charges (I trust you mean the lawsuit) "are stupid."

ScottGem · Apr 29, 2008, 09:53 AM

Judy's right. Normally, I do not encourage people to pursue defamation suits since they are so hard to prove that any damages have occurred. But I strongly believe you do need to pursue this action. Even if it costs you and you get nothing more than a retraction from this female cur. Your son needs to see you stand up for him and needs to see that bad people don't always prevail.

My suggestion was to help your son deal with the accusation. I find in incredulous that anyone would believe little boys even capable of understand the concept of molestation. At that age they are too young to even understand playing "doctor". There is no way I would believe any molestation took place. That's why I think, if you son turns the tables and points out how ridiculous the accusation is and how incredible it is that anyone would believe it, people, who may have a knee jerk reaction when they hear the word molestation, will stop and think. And once they start to think about, they will realize how irrational such an accusation is.

Two more points. I don't want to belittle what your son went through, but it has no real bearing here. The fact that he was a victim actually works against him. If something was done to him, it makes it more believable that he would turn around and do it to someone else. I'm not saying, nor do I believe he did, I'm just pointing out what others might think. So I would not mention his experience at all.

Nor would I bring up that he is too young to remember. That can also backfire. If you can't remember that you did something you can't remember that you didn't do it either. Your tack should be that they were too young to even understand the concepts, nor where they along together long enough for anything to happen.

rockingtntprod · Apr 29, 2008, 10:18 AM

I agree.. The reason I brought up he was a victim, is because all the things that have happened in my family... She said has happened to hers. This is a story that I couldn't possible explain in a few comments. This person is a very sick person and I am just disgusted with the fact that she knew something very personal and put it out there and used it in a manner in which is should not have been. I have a child who is on the verge of breaking and I have spoke with him and also have him in counseling, but one person can take only so much. I can tell you that from previous issues between her and I our children where never around each other for long as kids. Now that they are 12 and in the middle of the divorce... When the brother in law needed help a place to stay and so on, of course the kids spent time together (in the past year), but at 12 they do understand the accusations. I don't get why any adult in their right mind would bring innocent children into an adult situation. Apparently, she is not in hers!