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KnCsMommy · Apr 27, 2008, 08:01 AM

:( I have an unusual situation. I gave up my rights to my two daughters a few years after divorcing their father. When we divorced, I was having a lot of emotional and financial problems. I was struggling to get myself together. My ex was very bitter and constantly pursued me for child support. I was barely making it on my own. Before the divorce I was a stay at home mom. I had little or no job skills, so I had a tough time at first to make a satisfactory living. We both agreed in the divorce to allow the children to stay with their father. He was making substantially more money than I was, and this was to allow me time to get myself together.

After my ex met his new wife, the tables turned. He started taking me to court for child support I was having trouble keeping up on. He threatened that he would push it till he could put me in jail. He told me if I gave up my rights that he would forgive the back child support and allow me to continue to see my children.

It seemed the worst possible option. I didn't want to give up my children. I loved them, and still do. But his pressures and threats scared me, and to me it seemed worse to have my children see their mother behind bars.

I finally agreed to relinquish my rights. In court the judge asked if this was in process of adoption and my ex's lawyer said yes. So, at this time I realized his intent to have his wife adopt my babies. (to my horror) My fear outweighed my logic in the situation and I signed the papers to terminate my parental rights.

Since that time, I have visited my children regularly. They spend weekends at my house and I buy them school clothes, pay for their hot lunches, and other odd things they need.

The problem is, if their father is in a mood or is mad about any situation, he will threaten to not allow the children to see me. There has also been some questionable issues with alleged abuse. DCFS has been involved, but no action has been taken on the children's behalf.

I worry about the well being of my daughters and am in a much better situation than I was when I signed away my rights.

I would like to pursue getting my rights back to my children. My daughters constantly express wanting to live with me. It feels like a very complicated situation and I am not sure exactly where I stand or what I can do to change things. I have no qualms with paying child support. I've done a lot of research, but I haven't found concrete information as to what I can do, or for that matter what rights the children may have in this situation.

Any ideas?
Thank you

JudyKayTee · Apr 27, 2008, 08:02 AM

[QUOTE=KnCsMommy]:( I have an unusual situation. I gave up my rights to my two daughters a few years after divorcing their father. When we divorced, I was having a lot of emotional and financial problems. I was struggling to get myself together. My ex was very bitter and constantly pursued me for child support. I was barely making it on my own. Before the divorce I was a stay at home mom. I had little or no job skills, so I had a tough time at first to make a satisfactory living. We both agreed in the divorce to allow the children to stay with their father. He was making substantially more money than I was, and this was to allow me time to get myself together.

After my ex met his new wife, the tables turned. He started taking me to court for child support I was having trouble keeping up on. He threatened that he would push it till he could put me in jail. He told me if I gave up my rights that he would forgive the back child support and allow me to continue to see my children.

It seemed the worst possible option. I didn't want to give up my children. I loved them, and still do. But his pressures and threats scared me, and to me it seemed worse to have my children see their mother behind bars.

I finally agreed to relinquish my rights. In court the judge asked if this was in process of adoption and my ex's lawyer said yes. So, at this time I realized his intent to have his wife adopt my babies. (to my horror) My fear outweighed my logic in the situation and I signed the papers to terminate my parental rights.

Since that time, I have visited my children regularly. They spend weekends at my house and I buy them school clothes, pay for their hot lunches, and other odd things they need.

The problem is, if their father is in a mood or is mad about any situation, he will threaten to not allow the children to see me. There has also been some questionable issues with alleged abuse. DCFS has been involved, but no action has been taken on the children's behalf.

I worry about the well being of my daughters and am in a much better situation than I was when I signed away my rights.

I would like to pursue getting my rights back to my children. My daughters constantly express wanting to live with me. It feels like a very complicated situation and I am not sure exactly where I stand or what I can do to change things. I have no qualms with paying child support. I've done a lot of research, but I haven't found concrete information as to what I can do, or for that matter what rights the children may have in this situation.

Any ideas?

Question - were they legally adopted by your ex and his wife?

KnCsMommy · Apr 27, 2008, 08:08 AM

I'm sorry, I should have put that in this question.

No, they were never adopted by his wife. It's been approximately 5 years now, and no adoption has ever taken place. In fact now, because she has issues with my children's loyalty to me, she has stated she has no interest in doing so.

JudyKayTee · Apr 27, 2008, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by KnCsMommy

I'm sorry, I should have put that in this question.

No, they were never adopted by his wife. It's been approximately 5 years now, and no adoption has ever taken place. In fact now, because she has issues with my children's loyalty to me, she has stated she has no interest in doing so.

Then get an Attorney (because there are some complex issues) and ask for visitation and/or custody -