[KD33]

Hello, I'm assuming some of you people have read my other posts about me liking a guy who lives so far away and well I thought I should let you guys know that well he kind of ended it a while ago and I was in denial about long distance relationships never working out so I knew it was true but I just didden't want to believe that we'd end like that... but we did. I'm sorry I was so stubborn... advice isn't always what you want to hear. But what I'm asking now is I know a lot of viewers said I do not love him, well I might not because I'm so young I don't know what love really is... but there is something going on between us and now everything I do reminds me of him, I can never get him out of my head. During classes at school he is all I think about... I wonder how he is and what he is doing and if he is thinking about me too. Me and him are still best friends and we talk a lot and stuff but it's just so hard not telling him how I feel and because he likes another girl over there it will kill him inside. He told me before that whenever he has a breakup with a girl he honestly really liked it kills him inside to know they are hurting because of an action he did... but It's my fault for not being there in Surrey when we were together and I know he is not the only one who made the mistake of taking the chance when we both knew it would end in heartbreak from the distance. I talk to him and well I can't help but miss him, he was the best boyfriend I've ever had. He was like my best friend bit then again soooo much more to me. When he was down here for spring break we hung out like every day and until 9:00pm every night. I don't know what to do.. it kills me not to tell him but it kills him to hear me say those things and I'm having a hell of a time keeping it in and it's causing mental depression, since the breakup I barely smile anymore... and when I do it reminds me of when I last smiled and that was when I was sitting next to him on my couch and we were watching hilarious videos on him gramma's cell phone that he was borrowing. Everywhere I go I think of him and everyone says something that triggers something off that makes me remember something he said. I've tried focusing on other things like schoolwork and keeping my room clean and making sure all my chores are done... that never worked. I tried going to bed early but I ended up dreaming about the last time we talked. I even tried going places with my friends like bowling or swimming or to her house to play the Wii but when my turn was done for the Wii I couldent stop thinking about him, then for swimming I kept hearing songs that I hear on the pools radio that reminds me of him and while bowling he was all that my mind was set on. It's like his memory is constantly haunting and reminding me of him and won't leave me in peace. I'm constantly bursting into tears when I'm alone like right now because once again the thought of him is in my mind, won't go away and is making me regret letting him leave to Surrey although I couldent have stopped him... he had to go... he has a life there. I just feel so hurt knowing he is possible with another chick when I'm all the way over here and when we were dating he was almost the whole time over there so I never really got to actually be with him to go places and stuff, we share so much in common because we've known eachothr practictly most of our entire lives. Please tell me what you think I should to at least ease the pain that I'm constantly feeling and wanting to take out upon myself... and not just that but how do I get him out of my head? I want to feel happy for him finding another girl in Surrey but it's hard to be happy for someone when all you can think about is the misfortune your relationships always turn into... It's just so hard. This is almost too much to handle, I know if I do anything stupid he'll feel responsible and hurt himself like I did to myself because he's really sweet. I just don't want to hurt him and what he has going for him, but I also don't want to hurt anymore, I want to be happy for him. The only reason I agreed to the breajup is because if it makes him happy and it takes your happiness away his smile is the best payment you can get because although I'm in tears he is happy and when someone means that much to you that you'd give him happiness when it replaces your own there has to mean something. I might be wrong but I think I really love him, I know it sounds stupid but I'm dead serious. This is sooo painful. Pleae help me. :(

[talaniman]

I might be wrong but I think I really love him, I know it sounds stupid but I'm dead serious. This is sooo painful. Pleae help me. :(

I don't doubt how you feel, and you do realise, he doesn't return those feelings, in fact he has moved on, and of course that hurts like hell. One thing you must realise, that as long as your so close to those feelings, they will always be there to hurt, and that sucks, but we all have gone through that same time in our lives, where we must learn to cope with our loss, our hurt feelings, and the pain it brings. So must you. Give yourself a lot of time and be patient, that you will heal, and be able to move on. If you haven't read them, click on the links in my signature, and get some insights, and suggestions, to help with this difficult time in your life.

[KD33]

And yeah he did give that affection back, just suddenly he thought it would be less painful for us both if we saw other people.. but this is way worse then dealing with the distance.