[motherofthree]

I am thirty five with three boys and just recently found my biological father ,although it was bittersweet because I found out where he lives and his phone number but when initial contact was made by the investigator he told him this was along time ago and did not want anything to do with a reunion, but I am optimistic because I knew he wanted to be in my life when I was two its just that I had a controlling stepfather who did not want him in my life at all. Well now that I lost my mom and my stepfather when I was eighteen years old and now that I have a family of my own I at least want to have some contact with him.
I was told by family that he may be in shock and need some time to think about this, I hope so ,but I plan on writing a certified letter and hoping he responds. Does anyone have any thought on this I would love to hear from you.

[FeelSoNumbZombie]

motherofthree,
I can certainly understand your feelings related to wanting to contact your bfather. What I would consider is giving him some time to adjust to you finding him, first. He maybe going through a mirage of emotions about you. If you wish to write him a letter, there is a link that maybe of some help to you that many adoptee's use with first contact letters. You can edit it to your own circumstances and desires. http://www.dhr.state.md.us/adoption/forms/form14.pdf
There are several sample letters on the internet. If this doesn't do it for you, try putting birthfather first contact letter in your browser, etc.
There is also a very informative essay by Gary Coles:
http://www.familiesandcommunities.sa...Gary-Coles.doc
Which helps person's understand the complexities of what a father may undergoe. Especially, if he was an "invisible" father to his child, like yourself.
I know one person who actually printed it and sent it along with his letter to his father in first contact.
Hope this helps.