[charlotte912]

My boyfriend just ended our relationship a few days after telling me he was unsure of how he felt. Everything suggested that he was reaching out so I decided to open up and tell him why I am sometimes protective of my feelings -which included a nasty incident where I was assaulted last year. A few days later he told me I had spun him out with what I said and that he didn't think things were going to work because his heart doesn't sing when he's with me... I have been dumped before because of lack of feelings and I have ended things before for the same reason and it's never been like this. The fact that he told me he didn't know why his feelings were faltering suggested something deeper. He said he wanted to end things to avoid hurting me in a couple of years time so if he can see us being together that long I don't understand why he was pushing me away at such an early stage. He has seemed sad and distracted for the last month and I can't believe I have been the only cause of that. When we got together it was wonderful but he warned me that he was detached because of past painful experiences. I have been patient and understanding of this but it seems he's frightened of really opening up and letting me be with him. When he lets go we have such a great time - but when he closes up I see this sad tired, sometimes overpowered individual so preoccupied with other people's feelings. He onc
E said he didn't know the difference between doing what's best and doing what he wanted

I can't fight or change what happened but I want to understand. I think he might be really unhappy and that's why he couldn't feel what he needed to feel but I am too emotional at the moment to really be able to tell and I want an unbiased opinion. I really care about him and I want to be there if he's unhappy. I love him so much I don't want to hurt him more and I don't want to be hurt - but I just can't believe what we had and what I felt could be so one sided...

[talaniman]

Sometimes in life we do our best, but it may not be enough to sustain a relationship. Your hurting now, and looking for reasons, why it didn't work, and you'll run yourself crazy, trying to figure his mind out. Just accept that it was not going to work, and let yourself heal, as all those questions and assumptions will only confuse you even more. The shock will wear off, and you'll start to see clearly again, but for now, let it go. Be patient with yourself, and realize that its only for now, that the confusion has you, and all you need is to let the emotional dust settle. Things will be easier to understand, when that happens.