[SummerLegacies]

I've been debating about this in my head for almost a month now, and I could desperately use some outside advice.

Okay so long story short, I was with this girl for about a year. We were in love, but things went bad. We broke up, and I was okay (nowhere near good, but okay) for a while and then we started hanging out as "just friends"... which quickly developed into friends with benefits which developed into acting like boyfriend/girlfriend again which developed into me falling in love with her again

THENNNN I get the kicker and she tells me she went too far and didn't mean to and she has this other guy she wants to be with instead of me. Needless to say my heart was shattered, and even more so this time because now it was like we broke up twice, and this time she left me for another guy.

My question comes down to: I have a gazillion things around that remind me of her. I have cards, pictures, stuffed animals, books, CDs, and a bunch more. I've never been so confused and hurt by one person before and since the "second breakup" I just can't handle looking at all this stuff around because all I can think about is her. Most people have advised that when you break up with someone to trash the reminders but...

On the other hand... I like all this stuff. I don't want to get rid of it because I remember how happy we were when we were together. It would be like I'm throwing out all that we were and in case you didn't guess already yes I still love her. I just can't bring myself to throw this stuff away. And who's to say we won't get back together someday. I know that's getting my hopes up but if we ever did I don't want all the old stuff to be gone

So... should I keep them? Or no? Any advice at all will be appreciated.

[Dearparkk]

What I did was took all the stuff and put it in a box. And then when I was comfortable I brought it back out again. And I'm totally fine with it being out and definitely wasn't before. I know exactly how you feel and that is what worked for me.

[nickshehe]

Pack them up and put them away until when you open the box of stuff it will remind you of those things but it won't bother you...
Even when you pack things up there will be reminders, they're everywhere for everyone.. But you can't let them get in the way of fixing yourself first.. Its been a month and I still wish I could call my ex and talk to her like normal, ill listen to a cd that we bought together and all these fond memories will come back.. But I try to detach myself from them, and so should you.. If you can't then don't throw them away, just put them away for now..
I've kept a little drawer in my room with all the stuff I ever got or shared with ex's, only ever had two painful break ups.. second one is fresh.. but I'm so glad I didn't throw away the stuff from the first break up because now I look at it and I laugh.. and I'll even call my first ex and joke about it like its normal.
Hope this helps.

[talaniman]

Put it where it belongs, in a box in the back of the closet, underneath the other junk! When you heal, leave it there.

[Homegirl 50]

Put it where it belongs, in a box in the back of the closet, underneath the other junk! When you heal, leave it there.

Great advice.
I would also add, the next time you jump in bed with someone, get an understanding first about what the sex is about. Friends with benefits is nothing more that casual sex. Do you really want to commit yourself to someone who would do that and then tell you she is with someone else?
Put the stuff away and move on.

[chuff]

I like the box ideas that everyone else has suggested but I wonder if throughing it away would be the better option. By throwing it away you take the step that says to yourself, I'm moving forward and this is the direction I'm taking. By holding on to something, it is always there and might stop you from moving forward because you know you can always view the possesions at a moments notice. You'll have a temptation that is always available.

[HistorianChick]

As everyone else has said, put it in a box and put it in your closet. I went out and bought one of those girly hat boxes, gave everything a proper "burial," and placed it in the back of my closet. I wasn't ready to throw everything away, but like you, was hurt when I'd see a random reminder of what we had.

Let it stay in the back of your closet until you're ready to throw it away. One day, you'll be ready. :)

[SummerLegacies]

Thank you EVERYBODY. I didn't want to but you guys are right, if I have to get over it then I actually need to take some action instead of looking at everything and getting upset. Today I put on some music, downed a couple red bulls and shoved everything in a cardboard box. Its now residing at the end of the top shelf in my closet. At this point I can't bring myself to toss it out. I still like the memories of them I just... can't think of them right now.

[Homegirl 50]

You hang in there. It will get better.