I thought my children were the only real thing I only thought of being happy or in love if it was my children I was talking about. If I had my Moms money I could have my children back, that's all I know now or care about. I can't live like this.
My Mother may have been the 1st Jewish American Princess. What would a JAP be like growing up on Manhattan Island,75th Street, 5th Ave. Igrew up in Scarsdale, but I knew that apartment well, every Sunday my Mom and Dad,well Dad many times Iremember he would meet us at my Grandparents apartment in which case Dad didn't come home. He like the night life and said he would take us with him to Clubs if we took a nap in the afternoon. His clubs were 54, inprov and the Brasserree. Those 3 were his circuit. Since he had a hard time falling asleep, he over did it with Doriden and hydrclorate still he fought it and the sleeping pills in 1972 left him dead from smoking in bed.
Back to my Mom I say she may have been the #1 first JAP.How do I know. 1950 aprox. She gets married at the Plaza,she had all the bells and whistles of today but back then. Today everyone does a v ideo of their wedding all occasions. They made 16mm movies and 78RPM coordinated records, they had photograghers that took 1000s of pictures all black and white. Her wedding dress was like Queen Dianas with the 100ft. Train.
Add the fact that only custom cloes were made good enough at that time she wore only custom clothes. Shopping which has not stopped over the course of having four children two husbands now deseased. Has played cards back as long as I can remember, where caeds were part of her reason when she would tell me how busy she was and if I didn't thinkk she deserved time out to play after alll look what I DO for everybody, if I don't get to relax you want me to have an attac k, stroke and die ? I think I deserve it. What can I say to my MOM who wouldn't appreciate a smart answer now like, if you can take not one day but two days off to play cards and just say you like to play and that an important part of what I do, she says its almost like she's doing this for someone other than herself and that even though she still so busy if she cancelled on the game the other girls would be mad that she can't call at the last miniute that's not right anyone who does will find themselves not invited back.
Think her shopping was much different then walking down the street windo shopping looking where to go later or tomorrow the windows stores were filled with real antiques or ancient yes ancient. In their apartment a half floor over looking fifth Ave, about 6000 sq ft.
Huge apartment. I started to say we came into the city on Sunday for dinner we myself and 3 brothers and Mom no sisters, My Mom states as fact that her and my dad wanted one girl that would be the exste3nt to what together they wished for. Arlene my Mom has said as a fact so many time that she said also that the problem or a problem became a problem becaus3e she had one boy after the other all of which were not what she wanted.
Her father said to his daughter after I was born or when she got pregnant with me Im #2 that if you don't stop having children that you really don't care for and you don't start taking care of the boys I will disown you. He said stuff to her like only the colored have children one right after the other etc,etc. Well she did listen ton her Father because he had the money. The JAP part is the illogicaldumb selfish all about her world she lived in and still does she should now be crowned the Queen of the JAPS. Backing up she went to boarding school for reasons of not being able to get along with her younger sister. She couldn't see anyone else getting what she already had and was hers, her apartment, Father ,Mother, clothes I could go on and on everything there she thought was hers and she wasn't sharing with her sister, so off she went.
Now, in my time I became disabled shortly after my wife had a tramatic brain injury, a stroke which has left her disabled with a horrible prgnosis she can't read or write has forgotton most of all events good and bad marriage, babies born, vacations, and much much more it's a horrible thing that she has, even though with her disability what she doesn't know she can't remember. An example would be for the last 7 years when she sees me like everyother dayshe goes Steve what happened to me, over and over, but for the most part she is in a up mood like she was before the stroke, I always said she was the happiest person I knew, her injury is affascia which Im adding on for more details that's when you can know what you want to say it but the words either don't come out or she used like anyword instead of theright word. Ive been going along douing my thing making money till I find out my landlord had disconnected my security system and it was the only chance of not being ripped off by my employees and customers. That resulted in moving out of that shopping center into another.
What do you think the end statement is going to be, Its gotton to long so I'm trying to end this. My Mom in her desire for a girl now has mine 16 and 23 the oldest is in 1st yr law school, the other I hope she graduates High school. At first I didn't know what I would have done without her. Then it turned out that all of a sudden I turn around and these kids are bought and paid for and dont5 know what to say because prior to this whenevere my Mom would ask me about what they are doingfor the summer or does she need anythig I d tell her and it was with my graditude to her and me saying thank you for everything to not being in the loop like now I didn't exist and now Im not even anything but a? I don't know but I'm ready to kill myself
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