Its been almost a year and I still want her back
Everybody liked her because she was one of the best looking girls in the school and mainly because she seemed impossible to get. But for me it was much different. At first I had no intention of attempting to date her because everybody else did and I just figured there was no chance and we we're better friends then nothing at all. But that turned to best friends and then I had a crush on her which I figured I would get over in a couple months. But that turned into love and a fight to get her. I knew my chances with her were extremely small and I still to this day think that is unbelievable that we ever went out. One night when we were having a lot of fun and we were saying our goodbyes I didn't want to just hug, so I kissed her. That lead to a two and half year relationship.
We were a really good couple I would say. We went out on more dates in 2.5 years than my parents did in 10. We talked all the time till we couldn't talk anymore. I knew everything about her and vice versa. We always got along really well but definetely knew what pissed each other off. It was an amazing time because I never cared what we would do when hanging out but just as long as I was with her I was the happiest and luckiest guy in the world.
We broke up 3 times at the end of every summer, none of which were decided by me. I always went beyond the best that I could do to make her happy. I always loved being with her and hated being without her. For two and half years, I could not keep my hands off her. She was not only a fight to get with, but a fight to keep, or at least that's how I looked at it. She'll tell you that she loved me equally, or even more, and I'll always believe that and anything she says. It was a very close relationship, I always told her everything and my friends will agree that I was too honest all the time. If I ever lied to her, then I'd feel like the relationship was fake and she didn't deserve that.
One day I asked her if she wanted a promise ring and she answered yes quickly enough that it seemed like she had been waiting for me to ask her. So I bought one and the day before I was planning on giving her it, she came over to my house to hang out. I picked her this flower that she tought me about(Queen Annes Lace- a white flower with red in the midde representing a blood droplet when Queen Anne pricked herself when making lace). After giving her the flower she screamed "ew" and backed away. That had to have meant something was wrong with her because she liked that flower. We went down stairs and she broke up with me. When she broke up with me, she told me she needed to find herself- to see what life would be like if she didn't depend on me every second, because every choice she made she said she thought of how I would think about it, and that I was the most important thing in her life. That was why she broke up with me.
The next couple of months were hell to me- I spent every minute thinking about her and contacting her and trying to get back with her. A week after the break up, she kissed this boy that she worked with and she liked him after that. Whenever I told her I loved her and asked her back, she said she couldn't because she really really liked the other boy. I stopped talking to her and then I was getting a lot of attention from her. So the next time we saw each other we kissed and it was amazing but I was back to trying too hard. The next morning I tried to kiss her and she shook her head and said no. I went home really sad and found out that she was in a relationship with that boy.
Ever since, I really stopped talking to her. We had a talk during christmas time and she told me that she still loved me. Its been almost a year, and sometimes Ill send a text or a drunk phone call to ask how she is. I don't know why I still think about this girl all of the time. I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I will never officially get over her and that there is still a chance. But she loves this boy and they will send Facebook messages like "hello love of my life" and stuff like that. Her family loves him and her sister/best friend likes him a lot. So it seems like she has turned the page on me and moved on.
Its been almost a year and I still want this girl back. I just feel like the whole thing was a failure and I don't know what to do and try to think about the things that I did wrong but then everybody tells me that I was a great boyfriend and she even said after the break up that I was great. I ask myself all the time: What should I do? How do I move on from this? Is there still a chance? Why doesn't she want me anymore? My friends say to to stop comparing her to other girls and move on, but deep down inside I really can't and it feels like I'll never let her go. Everyday, so many things remind me of her. The other day I was dancing with this really pretty girl and these kids were eyeing me like they wanted to be dancing with her. That reminded me of the times I used to walk down the halls holding my girl's hand and the other guys would give me looks. I miss doing things for her for no reason at all but to just see that surprised look in her face and making her really happy. Now I compare her to every girl I meet and Ill always think in my head "hmm this girl is pretty cool, but shes not my baby"...
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