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ins69 · Apr 6, 2008, 12:07 PM

Please help? I am 30 and my hubby is 32 he is avoiding me like a plague. He says that he is tired and stressed out from work I do understand that but I'm still recovering from him having an affair last year he saw me go through such a painful experience why would he deprive me of sex or reject me when I initiate it what is wrong with me.

And what I really can't understand is that he is very horny when he is having an affair and that seems to be the pattern it's now a pattern because it happen three times in the 11 years that we are married. He doesn't want me to leave he says he loves me , then how can he have the heart to do this to me over and over. DOES HE HAVE A HEART?

Guys is this normal?:( :( :(

N0help4u · Apr 6, 2008, 12:19 PM

Sounds like his heart is with other women and you are the housekeeper.

Choux · Apr 6, 2008, 01:30 PM

Girl, the honeymoon has been over for a long time. Time to see life as it really is, and go for the most enjoyment you can have. You *don't* want your happiness to depend on what another person does or does not do.

Many men like to have variety in their sex partners... the sexual urge is very strong, it is a positive life force, and they find it difficult to limit sex to their wives.

N0help4u · Apr 6, 2008, 01:31 PM

Yep I agree with Choux ---whats good for the goose is good for the gander go do some gandering cause he probably still is himself!

Choux · Apr 6, 2008, 01:43 PM

That's not what I meant, Sapph!

N0help4u · Apr 6, 2008, 01:47 PM

I STILL agree with you just took it a step further :D
He cheated on her three times and shows her no interest.
I would have had the door permanently separating us by now!!

Choux · Apr 6, 2008, 01:58 PM

:d I can't get my emoticon right... it's :D

ins69 · Apr 6, 2008, 02:09 PM

Thanks to all who had something to say but I take my vows very seriously regardless of what he does with his and I'm definitely not going to drag my name through the mud by doing what he does, I will walk out with my head high and then ride him for every cent he's got
(hit him where it hurts the most his money is his pride and joy even though I helped him build his business over the 11 years) Hahahahhahahah!!
It will be the saddest thing when I have to tell our three kids.:( :(

Thanks again you guys!

ins69 · Apr 6, 2008, 02:11 PM

By the way what do I do in the mean time I'm damn HORNY any ideas?

Choux · Apr 6, 2008, 02:17 PM

Masturbation. :)

Masturbation is a very good release for people who are handicapped, seniors, mentally or emotionally handicapped, those who can't find a partner, and so on...

N0help4u · Apr 6, 2008, 02:17 PM

Tell him that since he must be reserving it for somebody else
You might just have to find someone yourself since he isn't interested.

ins69 · Apr 6, 2008, 02:28 PM

I know, it's great hey I miss being touched and wanted by someone else

N0help4u · Apr 6, 2008, 02:32 PM

He ain't treating you right and giving little regard to how you feel
You got to come up with some catchy way to get him to respond and bring him out of his own little world of desires.

bizygurl · Apr 6, 2008, 02:37 PM

Good for you girl! No one deserves to be cheated on. My philosiphy is, if you can't commit to one person or you have sexual urges for other people, end the relationship/marriage before you go through with it. Its very selfish and cruel to put someone you supposedly "love" through it. If he loved you he wouldn't be doing it.. simple as that. BTW.. do you know for sure if he is doing it? There may be signs but you never know. Id at least confront him before I make any decisions. But if your sure then your doing the right thing. Sounds like you have had enough of his malarky along time ago.

Synnen · Apr 6, 2008, 02:38 PM

Out of curiosity... have the two of you been to counseling at ALL about this?

talaniman · Apr 6, 2008, 02:53 PM

His actions already have shown he doesn't care about your feelings, and he may be getting wanderlust again. He only cares about his own way of thinking and excuses aside he is setting up his next move. Either way back off him. He doesn't deserve your attention, nor should you push it. Get someone to talk to, to guide you, for now through the healing process, and if he would go with you, which I doubt, it could help a lot. If not, plan "B" may start looking better, and better.

ins69 · Apr 6, 2008, 02:55 PM

No he says counseling is for crazy people but he did send me alone after the whole affair thing

Synnen · Apr 6, 2008, 03:01 PM

HA! HE is the one that needs counseling, though it certainly wouldn't hurt you to keep going.

What does he think crazy IS, if compulsive cheating isn't crazy?

Walk out on the jerk. He isn't worth it.

N0help4u · Apr 6, 2008, 05:31 PM

You say he cheated three times...
That you KNOW of!
Whether he is seeing someone right now he is cheating you now because he is not being the husband you need and want.

simoneaugie · Apr 6, 2008, 09:28 PM

Yeah, hitting him where it hurts is sweet revenge. You should have divorced this user/loser long ago, I think. What should really be making you angry, and maybe it is, is that he has used you for years!

You deserve the best. Be kind and honest, and say bye bye.

Oh, he has a heart all right. It's just that he is luxuriously supported by society in living the lie that women are servants. Withdraw your investment in that lie. If no woman put up with that crud, it would end.