[tchur1]

I am still adjusting to my daughter being out on her own. She is my only daughter and I am having difficulty cutting the apron string. I have been pretty good about not being a
"helicopter parent." I feel hurt that she hasn't returned my calls. I called and had to leave a message on her cell phone. I waited 5 more days, called again and had to leave a message. I just said, "Hi, honey, dad and I are calling to say "hi" and hope all is well on your end. We still have not heard from her. Also, haven't received any e-mail messages.
What I'm asking is---is it normal for an adult child not to return the calls. How long should I wait before I call again?
Thanks for any suggestions.

[nkychic]

Sadly, in my experience I've found this to be very normal. My brother for instance NEVER calls unless he needs something from my mom or dad. My best friend was the same way when she moved out. This is her chance to be "on her own" and maybe she just feels you are checking in with her because you don't think she can handle being on her own. Obviously to us this is not the truth, but you never know what could be crossing through her mind. Call her one last time and tell her that you love her and hope that all is well with her. Tell her you won't bother her anymore but that you would love to hear from her. Make sure she knows that your phone line and door are always open. This way, she knows that you love her, but you are leaving it up to her. I know that part of the reason parents call and call is because they don't want their little girl/boy to forget that they love them. She knows this. Leave her this one last message and let her call you back (no matter how long it takes her).

Hope I was of a little help

<3 Leslie

[duck22]

I know it was tough for my mom when I moved away to go to college. We still manage to communicate with each other on a weekly basis. However I have friends (both male and female) who rarely communicate with their parents while away at school unless they need something. Its not that they do not get along with them, its just how they are. I do think your daughter should have returned your phone calls within that day or the next. I agree with what nkychic says about calling her and leaving one last message.

[talaniman]

Time to back away mom, as she will call after a time, probably when she needs something, but that's how they are. Give her all the time she needs. And try not to worry. She is grown (growing) and needs the space to miss you.