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mom375 · Mar 31, 2008, 09:45 PM

I have 2 kids 6 and 20 months old by a guy that was not there for my pregnancies and has not been in there life for over a year now. He does pay court ordered support out of his paychecks but he does not see, call or anything to do with them. I am wanting to know how and if there is some kind of abandonment or if I can take his parental rights away or what exactly I can do in the state of Indiana.

charlotte234s · Mar 31, 2008, 10:23 PM

You can't take his parental rights away unless he poses some threat to you and your kids, which he seems to not at all, and you can't file abandonment because he does not have court-ordered visitation and he does pay child support.

Unregistered · Apr 1, 2008, 12:07 AM

Dear Mom375,

I understand what you are going through. I was in the same boat, but without child support. I have thought about getting him for abandonment as well.

I have found a web site that may help you regarding your problem. It is a government site and should be able to tell you what you need to know.

I wish you the best and happiness with your two beautiful children.

Here is the link for your state: http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwi....processSearch

Mom of 2 · Apr 1, 2008, 12:16 AM

What is that you want to have happen in this situation? Do you want him to go to jail? Do you want him to pay for his absence in some other way? The fact that he is paying you child support means that he is at least doing that. There are a lot of mothers out there who don't even get that. Although it is important for a father to be in a child's life, you cannot force this to happen, you cannot make him be a good dad. Maybe it is better for your children that they do not have him in their lives, as he would just continue to let them down time after time.

My suggestion would be to speak to a lawyer about this, but quite frankly, I don't think that there is anything that you can do to force him to see his kids. If he was behind on his child support, then yes, there is something that you can do to force him to pay. Visitation is not enforceable unless you are keeping him from seeing the kids, which I don't think is the case.

Are there any other male role models that you can bring into your childrens' lives? Your dad, brothers, cousins, close friends? These individuals should be positive for you and your children.

I hope this helps!