[Buttnice]

My boyfriend is addicted to alcohol and he knows it but he doesn't stop, he says there is nothing wrong with it? I told him drinking a beer or two is fine but going on like tomorrow the alcohol is going to vanish from the earth is not normal. He is used to drink every day (a case of beer, if not more) and since his father died it's getting worst, his excuse is that he needs to relax... and believe me he is a very good guy, but the problem is he gets aggressive not towards me, but to other guys, always looking for a fight. I want to buy him anti booze tablets but I'm scared he would not drink it. Must I do it secretly or speak to him about it? And will the anti booze pills work?

[Choux]

He doesn't sound like "a very good guy"... not at all. He sounds like a very troubled guy.

The best you can do for an alcoholic is to encourage him to go for a physical and talk to his physician about alcoholism. Then, encourage him to go to a 12 Step Program called Alcoholics Anonymous.

Then, move on, girl. You're too young to spend any more of your young life with a person with such a serious problem. Chalk this up to "live and learn".

There are lots of good young guys out there. :)

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to go to meetings of family of alcoholic, he is only going to get worst, end up with criminal records and serious health issues. This is very common. And do you really want to sit there and watch him drunk every night.

[smearcase]

If he is an alcoholic, even a few beers is not OK. I have a good friend who figured she would change an alcoholic. That was 40 years ago and she is still working on changing him. By the same token I have a friend who beat it about 25 years ago with AA. But he still fights the impulse everyday.

[Handyman2007]

He is am alcoholic. He will not stop until HE WANTS TO. I lost my first wife to alcohol. She did not ever want to stop. You cannot change him. You can only help yourself to deal with what YOU need out of life. It hurts but you cannot destoy yourself trying to save him. I know, it almost killed me.

[private9]

Please go to Alanon. There are meetings everywhere. Find a meeting at alanon.org. There you will find those with whom you can relate. This disease is more powerful than you. You will never be able to change him. You will have to work on yourself. In alanon you can find the hope to do that. Please go.

[bensmom]

First of all you can not buy antabuse, it has to be prescribed by a doctor, lets just say you illegally buy it off the internet, and you give it too him and he is drinking or gets drunk, it can kill him, trust me I know, my husband drank on his antabuse and an hour later I had to call the paramedics, he was fine, but his heart rate was outrageous he couldn't breathe, it was scary plus its illegal for you to give someone a pill without their knowledge, antabuse is most successful with treatment, he has to want to quit though

[tomterm8]

I think it is fair to say that however much you want to support him, you can't do very much until he realises there is a problem and actually tries to fix it. Until then, there is little you can do except protect yourself.

Alcoholics can be dangerous. Seek professional help, for example from alcoholics anonymous. Accept that you might have to cut him out og your life, if that is what it takes for you to have a decent quality of life.

[heart2heart]

I don't know how much time you have invested in this relationship but if you really care about him and his well being which will have long term effects on your relationship with him, then you need to set healthy boundaries around his use of alcohol. You may want to define for him clearly what you will and will not tolerate and define the consequences you are willing to back up with real action. The earlier suggestion of ALANON is excellent and you may also want to consider CODA (co-dependence anonymous). It sounds like he has some deep seated anger and grief issues which will not get any better unless he becomes willing to acknowledge that there is a problem and seek professional help either through AA or therapy or ideally both. You must first not allow yourself to enable his drinking and second you must take care of yourself. If you cannot take proper care of yourself through clear boundaries and healthy communication, you may want to think about how you could expect to really help him. Seek out a treatment program in your area and see if you can get a list of local resources to turn to for more help. He can be helped if he is willing accept it. If not, then you might want to reconsider they quality of relationship you want compared to the one you have and make some choices for your own well being. Good Luck!

[wayne888]

Leave him I'm an alco trying to stop I lost my kids and wife because of my behaviour, I'm now seriously trying to stop because I realise what I've put them trew. I now know what aclohol has done to my life it destroyed it, but I live in hope of 1 day beating the demons and rescuing what's left of my life in happiness

[talaniman]

Al Anon is a very good choice, and I hope you look into it for education, and support. I ALWAYS advice those living with addicted people, to leave, and put your own welfare, and safety before the addicted person. Unless he becomes willing to change, he won't. Sad, but true, and you can help best, by not being there for him.

[honestone]

Alcoholism is a disease where a person with an allergy to alcohol cannot take any alcohol whatsoever into his/her body with developing the phenomenon of craving. Once he/she takes that first drink they become powerless over how much they drink. They have no control. Sometimes there are periods of control but the average alcoholic has a physical, mental, and spiritual dis-ease which the only ease and comfort they can get is from taking a drink. But then the alcohol stops working and the dis-ease, irritable, restless, discontent, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde control that person's mind. They become warped and have 2 choices: either go on drinking until the bitter end, or accept spiritual help--AA.