[R0cKin_t33N]

Im a 13 going on 14 female who is still a virgin... and
Lately I have been having the weirdest day dreams usually about having sex with guys I'm attracted to.
I know it sounds weird and out of line but I was thinking of having sex with one of my old falmes. I really hate the fact that my day dreams have been doing this, I feel out of place.

Hoping that these dreams would stop... I ponder and ask myself this question, Is having Sex painful?

[barbiechick123]

Firstly hun, Don't HAVE SEX your way too young.. I know that wasn't the qquestion, but I know how you feel, I think it's the age that we start to go beyond the kissing stage and on too the more physical attractions, I always daydream about that. But to answer your question, it hurts the first feew times, but than you get used to it, its just kind of aweird feeling. [yes I'm a virgin] I'm just assuming lol.

[J_9]

Have you talked to your Mum about this? This is a question for your Mom, not strangers.

Does sex hurt? Well, having a baby sure as heck hurts and sex = babies.

[Alty]

Yes, it really, really hurts!

Okay, did that scare you enough that you won't do it until you are allot older?

Honey, you are way to young to be having sex. This is not a decision that should be made

Because your hormones are driving you crazy. Once you take this step, there is no taking

It back. You might not think that you will regret it, but believe me, one day you will.

Wait until you're older, in a committed long term relationship, and wait until you're ready

To have and care for a child, because sex does cause pregnancy.

Please, think it over, talk to you mom and WAIT!

Take care Dear and Good Luck!

[R0cKin_t33N]

Have you talked to your Mum about this? This is a question for your Mom, not strangers.

Well when I ask my mother she just tells me it happened so long and she really doesn't remember
(me and her talk a lot about puberty and choices, but not really about her experiences).
... and I thought that by asking strangers I figured I can get a straight response.

[J_9]

Well, sweetie, I have a daughter that is 14. I ask her if she wants to rock to rock music or lullabies.

You are way too young to have a baby, and sex = babies.

[JBeaucaire]

Since you're a virgin, I'll answer the question - yes, having sex the first time will probably hurt... maybe a little, maybe a lot, that's a physiological thing different for everyone.

Now the side-effect of your question - having sex may lead to a LOT pain mentally. Fears over pregnancies, lost trust, guys who naturally lose interest after a conquest and move on (common in teens), and a multitude of other mental stresses in your life you could name better than me.

The only thing more painful than breaking up with a guy you like but it's clear it won't work out forever... is breaking up with a guy you like that it's clear can't last AND you had sex with him. It makes the loss feel 100 times deeper.

That's just the way it is.

Plus, once you cross that bridge it will become a "possibility" in every relationship you have after that. It just will. You'll have popped the bubble (pun intended) and you may start to crave it more and more... nature insures you'll want it, whether it's smart to or not. You just will.

And of course, everyone else is right, too. Sex was DESIGNED to make babies and is a natural and logical possibility every single time you do it, whether you use birth control or not. I don't want to scare you, I want you to accept in your mind the full ramifications of the thing you're contemplating.

[amberlynn]

Wow, you sound like me.I'm 15.and I had sex my first time in Dec. 2007 with my ex BF of 1 year.I had a dream about it before it actually happened.DONT RUSH.and ESPECIALLY to do it with an old flame.it won't do anything for you.or change anything.you will feel no different.it DOES hurt.alot.because you will be nervous.and you will tighten up & you will not be able to naturally lubricate.it will hurt even more if he is a "big" guy.but don't panic.the pain is definitely bearable everybody has a first time.make sure it IS with the right person.cause take it from me, with an old flame.it will really mess things up.make sure that's not all he wants.cause he will hit it & quit it.TRUSTT MEEE.do not rush into things.your day dreams could be a sign of you making a mistake.but you will learn.just be careful.cause I wasn't.

[excon]

Hoping that these dreams would stop...

Hello young girl:

These dreams are just starting. If you're lucky, they'll NEVER stop.

excon

[ScottGem]

The thing that bugged me about your question was the old flames comments. You aren't even 14, how can you have "old flames". Sex is something you share with someone you really feel strongly about. It can and does have a profound effect on a relationship, so it should never be entered into unless you care about and have a mutual commitment with the other person. Ans sexual intercourse should not be entered into until you are financially, emotionally and physically ready to have a child.

Your dreams and thoughts are normal, but acting on them might be the biggest mistake you ever make.

[kp2171]

It can. It doesn't have to. It takes time to get it right. Its usually better for boys much sooner than girls.

All that said... please take your time. I was sexually active in HS, but a "virgin" by most definitions until college... mostly cause I dated a girl who wanted to wait... eventually we didn't wait, but we also didn't rush. I never regretted the waiting, though it sometimes drove me mentally mad.

I suppose being the son of a woman who became pregnant at 15 and a mother at 16 (father 17) I understood the consequences of sex, and I know even protected sex wasn't safe. Thankfully my mother was able to inform me of this without making sex seem bad or evil. Sex is great when done well... but it is complicated and has life changing ramifications sometimes.

Your hormones are just kicking into gear. Hold on tight. Its only going to get harder. Self exploration is normal at your age and a good way to take off an edge without stepping into dangerous territory.

Just don't rush things out of curiosity alone. Sex has real consequences. My 4 year old boy is proof of that, conceived with use of birth control and fertility tracking.

Oops happens.

[presley]

Im a 13 going on 14 female who is still a virgin.....and
lately i have been having the weirdest day dreams usally about having sex with guys im attracted to.
I know it sounds weird and out of line but i was thinking of having sex with one of my old falmes. I really hate the fact that my day dreams have been doing this, i feel out of place.

Hoping that these dreams would stop...i ponder and ask myself this question, Is having Sex painful??

Well, first off you should know that its completely normal to think like you are
I used to have things like that run through my mind all the time.

But you should not even think about sleeping with someone that you are not currently
Envolved with because it will make things awkward between you two.
I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!
When you feel ready for sex-YOUR READY. Adding a year or two will not make any difference.
The first time you have sex it will hurt and the second time could hurt just as bad,
Especially if you are not comfortable.
Please take that one piece of advice,(to be comfortable), because I wasn't comfortable with either guys I had sex with and it was NOT a good experience

You also don't want to run into a situation where you feel like you can't say you don't want to, because if you don't want to... SAY SO.

Most importantly when you think you found the right guy and the feeling is right
Just go with it and let nature take its course
Everything will work out

:)

[kp2171]

most importantly when you think you found the right guy and the feeling is right
just go with it and let nature take its course
everything will work out
:)

Awful advice.

"everything will work out" is how young girls end up with STD's, abortions, or kids before they graduate.

[mafiaangel180]

As the old saying goes... "Sex can wait, masturbate!!"

[R0cKin_t33N]

The thing that bugged me about your question was the the old flames comments. You aren't even 14, how can you have "old flames". Sex is something you share with someone you really feel strongly about. It can and does have a profound effect on a relationship, so it should never be entered into unless you care about and have a mutual committment with the other person. Ans sexual intercourse should not be entered into until you are financially, emotionally and physically ready to have a child.

Your dreams and thoughts are normal, but acting on them might be the biggest mistake you ever make.

Well onistly, when I day dream... my day dreams are uncontrolable and they do lead to questions... my old flame is someone who is my best friend... we were together for 15 months... and believe it or not even though I am young I feel that life just throws things at you... like affection, I hope you understand where I'm coming from.

[chemdiaster]

Im a 13 going on 14 female who is still a virgin.....and
lately i have been having the weirdest day dreams usally about having sex with guys im attracted to.
I know it sounds weird and out of line but i was thinking of having sex with one of my old falmes. I really hate the fact that my day dreams have been doing this, i feel out of place.

Hoping that these dreams would stop...i ponder and ask myself this question, Is having Sex painful??

Don't have sex just because you feel left out. I did that and it hurts when a guy uses you just for sex. Start a relationship first, hold out as long as you can before having sex, then when you feel that you and the guy really care about each other then have sex. To answer the question, yes it hurts but if you are with a guy who really cares about you then he will take it slow, and he will respect when you say ouch.

[mama_meci]

Im a 13 going on 14 female who is still a virgin.....and
lately i have been having the weirdest day dreams usally about having sex with guys im attracted to.
I know it sounds weird and out of line but i was thinking of having sex with one of my old falmes. I really hate the fact that my day dreams have been doing this, i feel out of place.

Hoping that these dreams would stop...i ponder and ask myself this question, Is having Sex painful??

I amd 13 also and almost 14 in a month I lost my virginity this year and it does hurt very bad I would say wait till you find the right person so that you won't have no regrets of who you lost it to because I lost it to the right person

[justcurious55]

Just wait. I think it's perfectly normal to thkn about sex and have questions and day dreams about it bt that doesn't mean you have to act on those thougths any time soon. Wait until you're ready. And trust me, thre's no way you can possibly be truly ready at 13, nearly 14.
But to answer your question, the first time and sometimes even more than that is often painful. But it does help to be totally comfortable with your partner. And while it might seem like a great idea at first hooking up with your old flame because you're so close, you also have to think about afterwards. It could get awkward then (learned that one the hard way... ). Even if it doesn't seem like it would now. Be patient. Wait until you have a boyfriend or even a husband you who love and who loves you back and you're emotionally and financially ready to handle any risks or responsibilities that come with sex.

[Alty]

well, first off you should know that its completely normal to think like you are
i used to have things like that run through my mind all the time.

but you should not even think about sleeping with someone that you are not currently
envolved with because it will make things awkward between you two.
I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!
when you feel ready for sex-YOUR READY. adding a year or two will not make any difference.
The first time you have sex it will hurt and the second time could hurt just as bad,
especially if you are not comfortable.
please take that one piece of advice,(to be comfortable), because i wasnt comfortable with either guys i had sex with and it was NOT a good experience

You also dont want to run into a situation where you feel like you can't say you dont want to, because if you dont wanna ... SAY SO.

most importantly when you think you found the right guy and the feeling is right
just go with it and let nature take its course
everything will work out

:)

I accidentally hit agree instead of disagree when I rated this answer, now I don't know how to delete it.

Suffice it to say, I strongly disagree with this advice.

Young people all think that they are invincible, telling someone to do something that is this life altering and risky is terrible advice.

You said so yourself, the first time you had sex it wasn't a good experience, probably because you were to young.

To the OP, your body might be telling you it's ready, but it isn't. Plain and simple 14 is way to young to have sex, EVER. Please, think this through before you make a big mistake. Take it from someone who knows, this is not something that you want to rush. You have a lifetime ahead of you to make this decision. Wait, you'll be happy you did.

[Username Here]

I'm Going to ignor the age factor, as its not related to your question but I would like you to just note your age when making your decision.

Sex will hurt the first few times, at least this is what my partner has told me. It would probably help and be less painful if you could stretch the hymen and break some of it first with your or your partners hand. Sex for the first time may also make you feel a little sick as its pressure that you won't be used to in that area.

Once you 'loosen up' (excuse the expression) then you'll enjoy sex and boy its fun!

Before you do, do anything though. I urge you to seek advice from a school nurse or counselor about protection and how effective it is. You should always use 2 forms of contraception.

Hope this helps,
Louis.