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New Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 02:35 PM
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Ex trying to charge me for expenses incurred during the relationship
Good afternoon,
I'm wondering how long someone has to bring up charges they feel are owed to them. My ex boyfriend claims I owe him money for various small charges amounting to $1200 from March (ish) 2006. I paid him back for anything that was owed during the relationship, but he's trying to tell me that I owe him a lump sum of money. I don't want to delve into it with him, as I don't want to go through what he feels I should pay him for line by line (he doesn't have a breakdown anyway), but I'm hoping that there's a statute of limitations in BC so that I can tell him that even if he feels I do owe him anything the time has run out for him to come back to me with it anyway (its been years now... like I can remember if he paid for groceries instead of me that day). I've told him I don't owe him anything, and to stop e mailing me and harassing me about it and he told me that he's not harassing me under the criminal code. I want to give him enough info so that he'll leave me alone, and know what to expect if he has a right to drag me into his delusion that I owe him money.
Can someone please help me? I don't know what to expect.
Thank you!!
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Pets Expert
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Mar 25, 2008, 02:47 PM
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If he wants the money then he has to prove that it's a loan. Does he have a contract that you signed stating that you borrowed this money from him?
When people are in a relationship they spend money on each other, Dinner, Movies, etc. those are considered gifts. When a relationship breaks up some people are so angry that they want to get back at their ex by claiming that gifts were actually a loan. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for you he cannot legally expect this money to be paid to him.
Tell him that you need a list of things that you supposedly owe him for, and tell him that you would like a copy of the contract or cancelled cheque that shows that any of this money was a loan. If he doesn't have that, then he doesn't get a thing.
Good luck.
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New Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 02:58 PM
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 Originally Posted by Altenweg
If he wants the money then he has to prove that it's a loan. Does he have a contract that you signed stating that you borrowed this money from him?
When people are in a relationship they spend money on eachother, Dinner, Movies, etc. those are considered gifts. When a relationship breaks up some people are so angry that they want to get back at their ex by claiming that gifts were actually a loan. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for you he cannot legally expect this money to be paid to him.
Tell him that you need a list of things that you supposedly owe him for, and tell him that you would like a copy of the contract or cancelled cheque that shows that any of this money was a loan. If he doesn't have that, then he doesn't get a thing.
Good luck.
He has an e mail from me 2 years ago which said that I would pay him a couple of installments of 600 each. After which I said to myself - hey, wait a minute, what is this for (I obviously wasn't thinking he was trying to screw me around back then, I just thought it was for some random bills, etc.). I told him he had to detail the charges to me and that I didn't owe him for anything. What worries me slightly is that I spoke over e mail before I went through what he was trying to charge me for. I accepted that I was going to give him some money, and then realized what he wasn't detailing what he was trying to charge me for because it was for random things. He hasn't brought it up for over a year (probably because he knows it was ridiculous), and now out of the blue he has hit tough times and wants me to pay him. Because I responded to him in writing that I was going to pay him, does that require me to?
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Uber Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 03:07 PM
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 Originally Posted by Nicole33
He has an e mail from me 2 years ago which said that I would pay him a couple of installments of 600 each. After which I said to myself - hey, wait a minute, what is this for (I obviously wasn't thinking he was trying to screw me around back then, I just thought it was for some random bills, etc.). I told him he had to detail the charges to me and that I didn't owe him for anything. What worries me slightly is that I spoke over e mail before I went through what he was trying to charge me for. I accepted that I was going to give him some money, and then realized what he wasn't detailing what he was trying to charge me for because it was for random things. He hasn't brought it up for over a year (probably because he knows it was ridiculous), and now out of the blue he has hit tough times and wants me to pay him. Because I responded to him in writing that I was going to pay him, does that require me to?
Well, no matter what the circumstances are I believe if he decides to take you to Small Claims Court your e-mail acknowledges that you owe him money and you would make "a couple" (which is at least 2) $600 payments to him.
And you did not - you cannot agree to one thing (the debt, the payments) and then think it over and demand an itemized list.
Yes, I think he can collect minimally $1,200 from you because "a couple" of payments is 2 at $600 each.
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Pets Expert
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Mar 25, 2008, 03:09 PM
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Yikes. Never, ever, ever admit in writing to owing something if you don't know what you are agreeing to. Unfortunately if he has the email were you agree to pay him the money then that's as good as a contract in most places. You might still be able to challenge him on what you are actually paying for, but as far as I know, if you've acknowledged a debt and the amount of the debt in an email then you're liable for it.
I'm not an expert on law, the above is just what I've heard or been told. You might want to Google BC Law for small claims. Or you could wait until Fr_Chuck and ExCon come along, they will be able to tell you.
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Uber Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 03:15 PM
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 Originally Posted by Altenweg
Yikes. Never, ever, ever admit in writing to owing something if you don't know what you are agreeing to. Unfortunately if he has the email were you agree to pay him the money then that's as good as a contract in most places. You might still be able to challenge him on what you are actually paying for, but as far as I know, if you've acknowledged a debt and the amount of the debt in an email then you're liable for it.
I'm not an expert on law, the above is just what I've heard or been told. You might want to Google BC Law for small claims. Or you could wait until Fr_Chuck and ExCon come along, they will be able to tell you.
A written agreement to pay is not "as good as a contract" - a written acknowledgement and agreement/offer to pay is, in fact, a contract.
There is no room to challenge specifically what she has agreed to pay or not pay for - I believe the Court will presume that ground was covered BEFORE OP entered into the agreement and they are not going to revisit it now.
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New Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 03:22 PM
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 Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
A written agreement to pay is not "as good as a contract" - a written acknowledgement and agreement/offer to pay is, in fact, a contract.
There is no room to challenge specifically what she has agreed to pay or not pay for - I believe the Court will presume that ground was covered BEFORE OP entered into the agreement and they are not going to revisit it now.
And that's even when its so old? I know that I paid him in cash long ago for anything that I owed him, and that I tied up all lose ends regarding the relationship. He's just coming after me because he's short on cash. He should have to be able to tell me what he's claiming I owe him for.
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Uber Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 03:37 PM
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 Originally Posted by Nicole33
And thats even when its so old? I know that I paid him in cash long ago for anything that I owed him, and that I tied up all lose ends regarding the relationship. He's just coming after me because he's short on cash. He should have to be able to tell me what he's claiming I owe him for.
The Statute of Limitations on debt varies from State to State, usually in the area of 4 to 7 years. You said this is from March 2006, I believe - ?
That doesn't matter much because you verified the debt AND MADE PAYMENT ARRANGEMENTS. You agreed to pay him. Buyers remorse (or debtor's remorse) doesn't change an agreement.
If you believe that he should have been able/is able/should be compelled to provide a list of the individual items that make up the total debt, use that as a defense when he sues you. I personally don't think the Court is going to over that old ground now but, hey, give it a try. You must have thought you owed him something or you would have demanded a listing before you agreed to repay him.
If you had posted all of the circumstances, including the acknowledgement of the debt, right in the beginning it would have been easier to answer you. Based on what has now been posted I believe you owe the money.
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New Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 03:47 PM
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 Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
The Statute of Limitations on debt varies from State to State, usually in the area of 4 to 7 years. You said this is from March 2006, I believe - ?
That doesn't matter much because you verified the debt AND MADE PAYMENT ARRANGEMENTS. You agreed to pay him. Buyers remorse (or debtor's remorse) doesn't change an agreement.
If you believe that he should have been able/is able/should be compelled to provide a list of the individual items that make up the total debt, use that as a defense when he sues you. I personally don't think the Court is going to over that old ground now but, hey, give it a try. You must have thought you owed him something or you would have demanded a listing before you agreed to repay him.
If you had posted all of the circumstances, including the acknowledgement of the debt, right in the beginning it would have been easier to answer you. Based on what has now been posted I believe you owe the money.
Thank you for your help. When he wanted the money from me I trusted that it was for bills, and didn't realize that it was for misc. expenses. He took care of the bills from when we lived together etc, so I thought it was for that when I agreed to pay. I took his word for it, and that's where the communication was crossed. I wouldn't have agreed had I realized what the charges were for, and should have looked into what he was requesting at the time.
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Full Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 06:22 PM
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In Ontario, where we practice, a limitation period can only be restarted if a debtor signs a document acknowledging the debt. A simple e-mail will not suffice as written acknowledgement.
This point may be academic if the limitation period in B.C. is more than two years.
We trust that you and your ex were not in a common law relationship since this could substantially change the nature of any claim (ie. He may need to seek relief in family court as opposed to small claims court - an expensive proposition).
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New Member
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Mar 25, 2008, 08:11 PM
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 Originally Posted by Justice Matters
In Ontario, where we practice, a limitation period can only be restarted if a debtor signs a document acknowledging the debt. A simple e-mail will not suffice as written acknowledgement.
This point may be academic if the limitation period in B.C. is more than two years.
We trust that you and your ex were not in a common law relationship since this could substantially change the nature of any claim (ie. he may need to seek relief in family court as opposed to small claims court - an expensive proposition).
We actually were living together, however we had not been (at the point of the e mail where I offered to make payments to him) for quite some time. This is why I thought he was referring to bills I owed him for and didn't think much of it when I responded to his e mail. We were living together for a year, and then continued the relationship living apart for another year.
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Pets Expert
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Mar 25, 2008, 08:17 PM
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Well, you've learned a valuable, and expensive, lesson. Do not agree to pay unless you know what you are agreeing to pay for.
Good Luck!
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