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brie237 · Mar 20, 2008, 08:37 PM

I had been working at this new job for only about 2 weeks, when the holiday party came up. A fellow co-worker I had been eyeing was there and we got to talking and I realized how much chemistry we had together (as did he). We started flirting a little more and more at work, then he asked me to hang out. I wasn't free to hang out, so I said I would take a rain check... then a few weeks later I took him up on the raincheck, but then HE said he wasn't free but said when he was free we would "definitely" hang out. It's been a few months and he hasn't asked me to hang out again, but he has been continuously flirting with me through email and at work. The ball is in his court. I just don't understand why he would ask an almost complete stranger with whom he works in close quarters with, to hang out, then not follow up on it?

Ace High · Mar 20, 2008, 09:12 PM

Hi Brie237,
Sounds like he is "hanging" with someone else at the moment. The fact that he has been chatting with you still in a flirting manner shows that he is still interested. Maybe he hasn't found a way to break away from his other commitment.
Ace

JBeaucaire · Mar 21, 2008, 02:37 AM

Flirting at work with you is not an exclusive thing. He's most likely flirting with a lot of people, and that's fine, it makes the working environment fun for him.

Doing more than flirting with you could result in him not feeling free to playfully flirt at work anymore, and even if he does like you at some level, does he like you enough to risk being uncomfortable at work every single day?

I would guess not.

I would also recommend you seriously reconsider how much energy you're going to put into this... actually landing this guy from work could result in a lot of discomfort for you at work, too. So many things can and do go wrong in the dating world.

Dating is ultimately to find out if a guy you already like is someone you can actually "be" with or not, and the answer is usually "not". Since most relationships don't last, do you want to risk your job at the same time?

Just some things to think about.

N0help4u · Mar 22, 2008, 08:20 AM

Tell him you would rather he not flirt with you since he apparently doesn't want to hang out
Sort of a passive ultimatum to see where it goes.

talaniman · Mar 30, 2008, 09:34 AM

Maybe your more interested than he is, or maybe it's the availability. Either way, work is not a place for romance, drama, and assumptions over his flirting, or the motives behind it. Since he isn't going any further than just flirting, neither should you. You can stop this behavior, and maybe you should, since its confusing you.