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inthisheaven48 · Mar 20, 2008, 12:00 PM

My mother has my birth cirtificate and social security card and refuses to give them to me. I am 16 and not living at home with her or my father. I need them to open a bank account and get a picture id and to start my emancipation prosses. Being that they are mine and belong to me if I ask a cop to escort me to get them will they do it? I need to know. And getting another 1 isn't an option it will take WAY to long because I wasn't born in this state. Can you help me PLEASE

JudyKayTee · Mar 20, 2008, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by inthisheaven48

my mother has my birth cirtificate and social security card and refuses to give them to me. i am 16 and not living at home with her or my father. i need them to open a bank account and get a picture id and to start my emancipation prosses. being that they are mine and belong to me if i ask a cop to escort me to get them will they do it?? I need to know. and getting another 1 isnt an option it will take WAY to long because i wasnt born in this state. can u help me PLEASE

Your mother obviously doesn't want you legally emancipated. The Court will tell her to provide the paperwork when you get to the Emancipation Hearing. The Police are NOT going to get involved in this because it's not a criminal matter.

What State are you in? I've never heard of needing your SS card and birth certificate to start the proceeding.

I would think she wouldn't want to be responsible for you and would want you emancipated to avoid legal liability but I guess not.

inthisheaven48 · Mar 21, 2008, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Your mother obviously doesn't want you legally emancipated. The Court will tell her to provide the paperwork when you get to the Emancipation Hearing. The Police are NOT going to get involved in this because it's not a criminal matter.

What State are you in? I've never heard of needing your SS card and birth certificate to start the proceeding.

I would think she wouldn't want to be responsible for you and would want you emancipated to avoid legal liability but I guess not.

I know that's what I don't get and I'm in Maine. I need the papers to open a bank account to prove that I have money to the courts and that I have my life going in a good direction

JudyKayTee · Mar 21, 2008, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by inthisheaven48

I know thats what i dont get and im in maine. I need the papers to open a bank account to prove that i have money to the courts and that i have my life going in a good direction

You are going to have to obtain duplicate documents if your mother won't give the originals to you - right now it's a slow process to get a birth certificate because of the visa requirements.

twinkiedooter · Mar 22, 2008, 03:12 PM

Start with the birth certificate. Contact the State you were born in and obtain a new one. Go to the Social Security office nearest where you are now once you get the birth certificate and they will give you a new copy of the card. Just tell them you lost it. Don't bother telling them that mom has it or they won't give you another one. If you know your number, great, that speeds up the process of getting a new card for you. You must go in person though to the Social Security office - phoning won't get you a new card.

iwunajump2 · Mar 7, 2012, 03:37 PM

I understand that these documents are usually issued to the mother when a child is a minor, but once that child becomes an adult, couldn't that be considered a form of identity theft? I mean, what does she need those documents for? It seems it's probably the only way she can maintain some kind of contact without coming right out and saying she feels she has to have a reason to communicate with you. My son's friend is going through something similar, except he's 19 and his adopted father has a drug problem and kicked him out for some unknown reason. They tell him to be an adult and then hinder him from his attempts to do that. It's sad and I hope you get it worked out. I'd like to know what happens if you'd email me so I can help my son's friend.

JudyKayTee · Mar 7, 2012, 03:41 PM

This was asked in 2008 and the person who asked has never been back. In my State - NY - the mother can obtain a copy of the children's birth certificates because there could be a reason the mother needs the birth certificate.

It's not considered identity theft unless you misrepresent your identity - I don't see that happening here.

What type of problems is your friend's father causing?

iwunajump2 · Mar 7, 2012, 06:56 PM

Well... where to start? The father has a problem with drugs. The boy told his mother about it when the father wanted to get drugs one day after work (They worked in a construction type job together). The work wasn't really steady and one week the boy had work and the father didn't. He came home and for no reason flew into a rage and demanded the boy get out. There's a 12 year old girl in this house as well. He had also bought a car for the boy last year and allowed him to pay him back for it. The boy paid the money and the father refuses to give him the car or his belongings from it. The father is also threatening to call police and have them "raid" my home and to call the state and have someone come out and "have all of us kicked out into the street with no place to live". The boy found a job through the church he attends and today was the first day of work for him. Naturally, he thought he would need his social security card for the employer to make a copy of and for payroll and tax purposes. His mother refused, saying these were documents that are issued to a mother and if he wanted copies, he would have to get his own. The car has broken down and the boy has his clothes and birth certificate in the vehicle. They have indicated via text messaging they were going to have the car towed to their home. Then they claimed the mother would go and get his tools and belongings and allow him to come get them. When he asked simply for the keys to get the items himself (ironically, the car broke down in front of his new job) they refused to allow him to do that. A few hours ago, the father was outside with a beer in one hand and a rifle in the other. I heard a shot and saw him. I think he may have killed my cat. I just feel sick. The house we live in belongs to my mother-in-law. She has heart problems and my father-in-law has lung cancer. The house is very old. Strangely, we never had any problems with the sewer until the boy's father is upset about something else and then all the sudden we have an unexplained leak and he's going to call and have us kicked out. He doesn't seem to understand that he wouldn't just be hurting us or his son. I just want to cry. My in-laws are in poor health and on a fixed income. We've already spent over $500 to repair the problem. Strangely, for someone who can't stand the smell, he sure spends a lot of time suddenly on this side of our home. I haven't sent it, but wrote letters to the state explaining we are aware of the problem and repair efforts are underway. I just wanted to cut him off at the knees with a pre-emptive strike. I have phoned these offices, including the sheriff. I was told I really can't do anything until he actually makes an official complaint. I was told to keep all the receipts to prove we are working on it. It's just this constant looking over the shoulder and sleeping with one eye open lifestyle that's wearing me down. My husband gets to go to work to escape it. I'm home all day. Today when the boy tried to phone his mother a second time before he went to work, she refused to answer him and made the 12 year old sister speak for her. The sheriff's office did tell me they thought I should phone the anonymous abuse hotline about the girl. I just don't know what to do. Have any ideas? Thanks for listening. These are just the highlights by the way : )

JudyKayTee · Mar 8, 2012, 07:43 AM

I don't know if this is about you or somebody else and that makes reading what you posted complicated.

If a 12 year old is living under the stress you have described yes, someone should report the emotional (and perhaps physical) abuse.

No one can just "call" and get you kicked out. Eviction takes at least 30 days. I'm not saying eviction is pleasant but it doesn't happen in the snap of fingers.

What would I do? I'd move out, away from these people. Is that a problem?

And you think he shot your cat? That would be a deal breaker for me.

AK lawyer · Mar 8, 2012, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by iwunajump2

... Naturally, he thought he would need his social security card for the employer to make a copy of and for payroll and tax purposes. His mother refused, saying these were documents that are issued to a mother and if he wanted copies, he would have to get his own. ...

He can get his own social security card. And then keep it on his person. Same with his birth certificate.

And, by the way, one should always memorize his or her social security number. If he can tell the employer the number, the employer really has no reason to make a copy of it. If they want to verify that it's his there is a number that they can call.