[lostsoul29]

Okay I'm 17 and I had my first boyfriend when I was about 15. He was 16 we went out for about 2 weeks he was my first kiss and I'm thinking my first real love too. After we broke he got a new girlfriend which he's been with for 2 years they almost had a baby together and he has a tattoo of his & her name. We stopped talking after we broke up and he moved cause wit her because of her being pregnant. She lost the baby and he moved back out but they are still together. He got in contact wit me and he says he still has feelings for me and he still loves me I believed him and he's been cheatin on her wit me for about 6 months now. It seems to me he won't leave her & he's using me but I don't know when me and him are together he gets really shy which is not his personality and he says he never gets like that wit anyone else. We fight all the time cause he says he doesn't want to be with her but he won't leave her. I have tried so many times to forget about him but I cant!! I don't know what to do? Sorrry this is longg

[wannabehappy]

Hi! I guess you better stop any kind of contact with him. Now that he knows you still loving him, he's OK. Why would he make problems with that one if he knows he has your love? Why? It's easier to be quiet, don't u think? Break contact for one or two weeks, if he try to contact you or if he askes why you are so far, let him know that you don't want to be the second one. Good luck!

[JBeaucaire]

You need to take some responsbility here, too. He's not using you, you're using him. He has a girlfriend and you know it, yet you're still seeing him. That's YOU using him.

If you do break with him, it shouldn't be another manipulation tactic to trick him into wanting you instead. It should be because you believe you're a better person that you're acting and you want to cut off contact with the things/people that cause you to behave badly.

As you grow older, you're supposed to realize that feelings are a motivator, they attract you to others... but you're intelligence kicks in and helps you make SMART choices about which feelings you follow through on, and which you override with your common sense or good morals.

It's up to you, if your dream is to be the secret other woman in a man's life, then congrats, you got that already. If your dream is to be equals in a mature loving relationship, well, that's not what you get with this man, so you staying is YOU deciding what you want is unimportant.

I hope you figure out that you CAN have what you want from a man, just not from this man.

[Bluerose]

Take charge of your own life, and let him sort his life out. Tell him to stop calling. Leave it for about three weeks to a month and see how it goes.