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m_dil1 · Mar 11, 2008, 06:08 AM

How long must I be legaly separated from my husband before I can get divorced?

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2008, 06:12 AM

What State are you in?

m_dil1 · Mar 11, 2008, 06:17 AM

Sorry for not including any details.. I'm actually new to this site and not sure how it works.. here it goes. I live in New York City and I am still married to my husband, I want to be divorced as soon as possible but I must be separated first or so I've heard. I wanted to know how long must I be separated before we can file for divorce and be done with is.. its getting nasty and I just want nothing to do with him.

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2008, 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by m_dil1

sorry for not including any details.. im actually new to this site and not sure how it works .. here it goes. I live in New York City and i am still married to my husband, i want to be divorced as soon as possible but i must be seperated first or so ive heard. i wanted to know how long must i be seperated before we can file for divorce and be done with is .. its getting nasty and i just want nothing to do with him.

There are several grounds for divorce in NYS, not just a Separation Agreement - if you can come to an agreement with him you can sign and file a Separation Agreement, live under its terms and conditions for one year and then use it as the grounds for your divorce.

If you can't come to an agreement, then you have to go with other grounds and a contested (or, perhaps, uncontested in the end) divorce. If you have no grounds for divorce then you pretty much have to go with a Separation Agreement - but pretty much everybody has grounds!

m_dil1 · Mar 11, 2008, 06:25 AM

Well we have both agreed that we want to be divorced as soon as possible, so in that case should we go with the contested divorce?

m_dil1 · Mar 11, 2008, 06:34 AM

One more question:
I was married by law not by church. Do I have to be legaly divorced before I can re-marry?

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2008, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by m_dil1

well we have both agreed that we want to be divorced as soon as possible, so in that case should we go with the contested divorce?

Well, it depends - on one hand if you are in agreement then have an Attorney prepare a Separation Agreement, file it, live under its terms, use it as the grounds for the divorce in one year.

Otherwise go with an uncontested divorce - one of you files, the other appears and then signs off, the first one gets the divorce - that would be faster but probably more expensive. I also don't know how busy the Court calendar is in your area. And, of course, you would need legal grounds.

It has been my experience that it is important for both parties to appear and then have one withdraw - otherwise there is always the question whether the second party was sufficiently served. No problem with that if the second party actually appears.

Marriedguy · Mar 11, 2008, 06:42 AM

If you enter it a separation agreement.. its after one year.

DivorceNet - New York Divorce FAQ's

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2008, 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by m_dil1

one more question:
i was married by law not by church. do i have to be legaly divorced before i can re-marry?

Yes, you are married by the laws and in the eyes of NYS and must get divorced before you can remarry.

Depending on your religion you may need a Church divorce in addition to the civil (NYS) divorce in order to remarry in that religion.

m_dil1 · Mar 11, 2008, 07:03 AM

Thank you, you were very helpful!

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2008, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by m_dil1

Thank you, you were very helpfull!

Thanks - hope it all works out for you.