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    tyler y's Avatar
    tyler y Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 10, 2008, 01:58 PM
    Another girl wanting a break.
    Me and my girlfriend are in high school we are in love and have been together for a year in a half I have read some other situations like ours but there not quite the same so I'm going to try and explain our the best I can. Ok last week my girlfriend said she was feeling weird about our relationship so we talked about it and she said she didn't know what it was the last two weekends before this I was out of town and she was going out with her friends and she told me how much fun she had. So I had a feeling the reason she was feeling weird was because of that. Then she ends up saying the next day that she wants to take a break so we talk about it for a while then we decide that that's what we are going to do even though I really don't want a break. So then the next day (thursday) I decide that I really don't want a break so I call her and we talk about it and figured out why she was feeling weird about our relationship she said that she feels like she is losing her friends cause of the relationship and she said that she kind of just wants to be able to go out on the weekends without someone on her back she just wants to do whatever she wants go wherever she want when she wants to she just wants space. So I end up breaking up with her that night we both got pretty upset. But we stayed on the phone for a while and talked about everything and she was saying she needed a little break and that she didn't want this to be the end of us and she still wants to hang out. So the next day (friday) she comes over and we hang out and it was cool and she told me later that night we could probably meet up so I call her later that night and ask her what she's doing and she said she was hangin out so I asked her if she wanted to meet up and she said no not tonight and I could hear other guys in the background so we hangup and that hurt. And she says that the reason she wants a break has nothing to do with any other guys. So the next day we talk on the phone and she says how sorry she was and everything and then we talked about us and I told her that I wasn't going to bother her anymore and I was just going to let her have her space. So we didn't talk at all that night and I went out and had a good time. But the next morning (sunday) I wake up to three texts and missed calls from her the first one said goodmornin the next one said call me when you get this and the next one said I miss you so much I need to talk to you. So I call her when I get them and she said she woke and just really missed me and she was crying earlier that morning. But she was acting so happy on the phone like we weren't broken up after I called her and she wanted to hang out but I was busy so later that day I call her and we talk about us and if we should hang out or not because if we hangout while were broken up that would be wrong to me like leading me on and she said she doesn't want to lead me on but if we don't hangout we will grow further and further from each other and that's not what we want. We both want to be together she just wants a little space rite now so what should I do?
    Farmerjohn692000's Avatar
    Farmerjohn692000 Posts: 63, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Mar 10, 2008, 02:05 PM
    Sounds like the same thing I had in HS with my ole g/f. the best thing you can do is just let things go with the flow. IF its meant to be then it will happen. If not then it wasn't. But if you get back together just figure out a plan that works best for the both of you. Take time to do your thing, and give her time to do hers. ITs really cool and a good feeling to be in love like that, but trust me everyone needs there time to do things they like. You don't have to be together every wakin minute. Just be cool bro, things work themselves out to be what they are supposed to be. I look back sometimes at those days of HS and g/f's and stuff like that and I realize that those days were good but life only gets better. Good luck pal
    duck22's Avatar
    duck22 Posts: 115, Reputation: 31
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Mar 10, 2008, 02:47 PM
    Well if your fine with being her part time boyfriend then hang out with her. With that said you also have to be all right with her seeing other guys to though. Idk about you but that would not fly with me too well. She can't eat her cake and have it to if you know what I mean.

    Anything she says about not seeing any other guys I would take with a grain of salt. Do you really thing she will be 100% upfront with you about that? Think about it and listen to your gut. Treat this for what it is, a breakup. If she really loves you she would not need a break from you.

    Right now you need to give her all the space in the world and nothing less. Unless your phone is ringing off the hook or she's pounding your front door I wouldn't do a damn thing. Let her figure out what she wants without any pressure from you and in the meantime focus on yourself now. I apologize if this post sounds harsh but sometimes it's the only way to get the point across. Good luck.
    freakinconfused's Avatar
    freakinconfused Posts: 150, Reputation: 18
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    #4

    Mar 10, 2008, 04:04 PM
    Dude, click on my name and read my post about my breakup. Pretty much sounds like what I went through, only I went through it after college and not in high school. What you absolutely have to realize is that the second she said she wanted space, your relationship is over. It's done. Walk away and do it now. Sounds impossible, and sounds like the wrong thing to do I know, but it's the right thing to do. Pretty much everything you feel like is the right thing to do during this point is actually the WRONG thing to do because it's what your broken heart is telling you to do, so start doing the opposite.

    I know it doesn't feel that the relationship is over yet, but it more than likely is. Any healthy relationship doesn't require "breaks" because the other person should never feel like their partner is not letting them be themselves, or crowding them, or not letting them be "free" if you know what I mean. She's probably telling you this because she a.) wants to let you down easy, and/or b.) she wants to use you emotionally while she slowly pulls away from you. In other words, she wants to keep you around until her feelings for you are gone. She will then quit talking to you, I promise.

    Don't let that happen if you can - I know I let it happen that way and it hurt like Hell. If she does not want to be with you, have the balls to pull away 100% and let her feel what it's like to not have you. Also, don't contact her of your own volition, at all, under any circumstances. If she calls you or texts you or whatever, that's one thing. Don't reply immediately, as someone who does not want to be with you should no longer have top priority in your life. Go do something else and wait a day, and keep your responses short and to the point. Don't let her jerk you around or walk all over you.

    I don't know this girl, but from my experience, and from all of the posts I've read on here, all the lines she's feeding you about needing space etc. are all complete bull$hit. She probably likes someone else, as hard as that may sound. Or, she doesn't have anyone in mind just yet, but wants to be free to find someone else. Hearing guys on the phone in the background further qualifies this - not to make you paranoid or anything, but I mean come on. She probably knew that you could hear them. And I guarantee she Will tell you they are "just friends."

    Bet your wondering - will you get back together in the future? Can't say that for sure. It usually doesn't happen, and when it does, it doesn't ever seem to work out right. But that's OK man. Believe it or not, months and months, or even a year, after this crap is over and you don't even really think about her that much anymore (which I promise will happen) you will stumble across someone else who is 10X better. And by that time, she'll probably come around and ask if you want to be pals.

    Good luck dude, and whatever you do, don't let this chick drag you around by the balls.
    Farmerjohn692000's Avatar
    Farmerjohn692000 Posts: 63, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 10, 2008, 04:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by freakinconfused
    Dude, click on my name and read my post about my breakup. Pretty much sounds like what I went through, only I went through it after college and not in high school. What you absolutely have to realize is that the second she said she wanted space, your relationship is over. It's done. Walk away and do it now. Sounds impossible, and sounds like the wrong thing to do I know, but it's the right thing to do. Pretty much everything you feel like is the right thing to do during this point is actually the WRONG thing to do because it's what your broken heart is telling you to do, so start doing the opposite.

    I know it doesn't feel that the relationship is over yet, but it more than likely is. Any healthy relationship doesn't require "breaks" because the other person should never feel like their partner is not letting them be themselves, or crowding them, or not letting them be "free" if you know what I mean. She's probably telling you this because she a.) wants to let you down easy, and/or b.) she wants to use you emotionally while she slowly pulls away from you. In other words, she wants to keep you around until her feelings for you are gone. She will then quit talking to you, I promise.

    Don't let that happen if you can - I know I let it happen that way and it hurt like Hell. If she does not want to be with you, have the balls to pull away 100% and let her feel what it's like to not have you. Also, don't contact her of your own volition, at all, under any circumstances. If she calls you or texts you or whatever, that's one thing. Don't reply immediately, as someone who does not want to be with you should no longer have top priority in your life. Go do something else and wait a day, and keep your responses short and to the point. Don't let her jerk you around or walk all over you.

    I don't know this girl, but from my experience, and from all of the posts I've read on here, all the lines she's feeding you about needing space etc. are all complete bull$hit. She probably likes someone else, as hard as that may sound. Or, she doesn't have anyone in mind just yet, but wants to be free to find someone else. Hearing guys on the phone in the background further qualifies this - not to make you paranoid or anything, but I mean come on. She probably knew that you could hear them. And I guarantee she Will tell you they are "just friends."

    Bet your wondering - will you get back together in the future? Can't say that for sure. It usually doesn't happen, and when it does, it doesn't ever seem to work out right. But that's OK man. Believe it or not, months and months, or even a year, after this crap is over and you don't even really think about her that much anymore (which I promise will happen) you will stumble across someone else who is 10X better. And by that time, she'll probably come around and ask if you want to be pals.

    Good luck dude, and whatever you do, don't let this chick drag you around by the balls.
    in the long run this fellow is right. Love hurts. And just like this post says someone 10X better will come along.

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