[manyqs2day]

How difficult can a custody battle be? Say the mom has custody but rarely sees them. They don't really want to be with her much although they do love her and want to see her some times.

They never want to leave the dad or the dad's girlfriend. The custodial parent's mother helps her out quite a bit. IN fact she has them more than the mom does. She is the one who takes them to Dr's visits, shops for them, etc. The dad also does a great deal of this. HE is also currently paying her half his salary and gets them a ton.

The dad is always in the picture. Keeps up with their grades and medical stuff. The mom rarely has their meds filled or gives them their vitamins. Homework projects only get done with the dad and girlfriend; especially the research ones. The girlfriend also has a child.

The dad and the girlfriend currently reside together while one is house hunting since the lease at the previous place was up a few months ago. The question is whether one should find a house or if they could stay in the one they are all in and it would be ok/ look okay if a custody battle broke out. A "possession" situation is in the air. A signed agreement from the mother is being waited for. She agreed in arbitration but hasn't signed in well over a month. She has previously withheld the children from the dad because she doesn't want him to have them too much because her lawyer said it was bad. She doesn't want to lose her extra paycheck that she buys her $250 boots and outfits with and that she parties on.

The custodial mother has a clean record and hasn't gotten in to any legal trouble that is known of. Her fault is she puts herself before her children, always. She introduces them to her DIFFERENT "friends" regularly. None of which are crimes. She yells at the kids and harps on them all the time. She doesn't talk with them only at them. I bet she doesn't even know the last time she sat down and played a game with them. Her "outings" with them consist of some kind of social benefit she gets from them or something that will occupy them while she chats with her friends. She'll give anyone the sob story of how much she doesn't want to lose her kids who will listen and will bad mouth the dad until the cows come home. She uses the children as a tool and a weapon and hurts them in the process, as long as it furthers her efforts, it doesn't matter to her.

Now this is TX and none of this can get you custody of your kids. The dad is an upstanding citizen and in civil service. The girlfriend is a single mother and a student who is also an upstanding citizen. Of course there are little past issues with the whole lot but it is probably minuscule compared to what the courts deal with. It is an over all law abiding group who has never had any legal trouble other than the divorces they all had to encounter.

I know it is a lot to digest and I'm sure I left something out but you get the gist of the situation. I am hoping to find out what needs to be done to improve our chances and what our options are and what we need to be doing to get the best results possible.

Whew! Any questions?

[oneguyinohio]

The only thing I have to offer is that a 50/50 arrangement might be a favorable situation. As long as you are all close enough that it doesn't interfere with the schooling etc.

Otherwise, the kids might have to go through a lot of counseling to determine their best interest, and getting statements from the school if there is any noticed differences from one parent to the next. There are a lot of issues associated with that approach, and it might not be helpful at all anyway.

[manyqs2day]

A 50/50 is more than okay with us. However, it is not something she will willingly agree to. Especially if it means it will lessen her paycheck. We can barely get her to sign a possession order she already agreed to. Even today she said she was tired of it and wanted to get it over with. SHe wants to talk about it some more yet when her phone calls (which are few) are returned she doesn't answer and doesn't return them. Then she acts like we are holding things up! What! RIght now we are in a "good spell" where she hasn't been overly difficult. However, she has strayed from the "temporary" agreement several times and is always asking to switch stuff around. Very unstable for the kids. Yet she asks for them to be gotten more, but doesn't want the 50/50 because of the money. That means in the end it will likely end up in court. We let her walk all over us right now because it is what's good for the kids. However, giving her two tons of money that she spends on herself is not benefitting them at all. Plus we spend more money on them when we have them so they she/they get more then 50% of the take home salary! Way more! That's not even including insurance and all the other stuff.