[mora1234]

:confused: I just broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months. I found out a month ago that he was having contact with his ex. (I had asked him not to because it seemed not good on her and his side, just un-necessary) anyway when we initially broke up I later found a few days later that it was way more contact then I had initially known before. He missed me and wanted me back so some how convinced him to show me the (as he stated) "harmless e-mails" well he must have forgot to delete all the bad ones because after reading a couple meaningless ones I saw one that went a little like this:

She sent a nude picture of herself and he complimented back in a sexual manner

So I left right then and when he begged for my forgiveness a few days and nights in a row later and voluntarily said he would no longer communicate with her I gave in and said I would give him a second chance (dumb I'm aware) he gave me his email password for reassurance

So we worked on getting backtogher for about 3 weeks

When he was at school I checked the history on his computer and found he had another email account-I cracked the password and found out he was already speaking with her again, since he was at school I took my chance and went threw his things and then found keepsakes of their relationship (including sexual stuff—imagine close to the worst-I was ready to puke)

He was a jerk about it and I'm done with him, but he kept telling me how crazy I was for going threw his things and how I have mental problems for doing so

My question is: did I have the right to go threw his stuff and find the truth since he was the one that wanted me to forgive him or was it a crazy thing to do?


p.s. it sucked finding that stuff and it will always haunt me but I'm OK with the fact I found out he wasn't worthy of a second chance instead of letting it go any longer

[talaniman]

Sometimes the wrong things we do lead to the truth, as you snooped because you didn't trust him. Now you know and don't have to listen to his lies. If he had kept his word you would be the one looking foolish for snooping.

[s_cianci]

I'm never in favor of snooping through someone's belongings. You had your suspicions and knew what the score was, so the snooping really wasn't necessary. In the future trust your instincts and act accordingly, without convincing yourself that you need "proof."

[l12]

You have to know for some reason (confirming your intuition) or what... if they give you reason to wonder... then wander through... If it helps you make the right decisions then it's worth it to know where to move on to.

[ISneezeFunny]

Oof. Snooping is never good... and no one ever has the "right" to snoop. You would have found out about him talking to his ex without snooping, granted, it would have taken you some time. So I guess... 1 point for snooping.

The main point is that what's done is done.

Tal is right in that if you had snooped and found nothing, you would have felt guilty about not trusting him...

A double edged sword...