[gingerq]

Help! My husband gets limp when we try to have sex because he says I am too wet and he can't feel anything. He doesn't have this problem any other time and he still cums through oral sex and occasionally intercourse, but 9 times out of 10 he goes limp. How can I dry up? It is starting to make me feel insecure. He assures me that its not because he is not attracted to me. I also feel like it is too sloppy. What should we do?

[bushg]

Try using a condom, then he will not feel the wetness.

[Choux]

I think he is probably a masturbation addict and is *blaming you* for his inability to perform intercourse. Does he use porn for masturbation purposes?

You have to watch out here because his excuses and manipulation could tear down yourself esteem. You have to talk to him in a non accusatory manner to see if he will tell you the truth about what is really eating at him.

[the1unv]

I agree with Choux... I new a guy who had the same issues. He was so addicted to internet porn he was not able to perform with his wife of 15 years. (he told me this) Now I am no sex expert believe me. I am however a happily married man with 7 children. Now I am going to same something I truly believe; You see some guys talk about not being able to "feel it"... that is there problem!! You see I don't believe in a "tight woman" or a "loose woman" I believe it is either full or it isn't! As for to wet... NO WAY... This is not your problem!!

[simoneaugie]

Getting wet is a female erection. If your erection makes his go away, there's a problem. His problem.

[kp2171]

I actually experienced a similar thing with a previous partner. She would become so well lubricated that sensations on my side were diminished... I know... its just maddening... a guy wants lubrication (as does the woman) and now he's complaining about too much. This had nothing to do with mentally being attracted. She was sexy as sin.

The solution? Different positions, sensations, and self stimulation.

When he says its not you, meaning he is absolutely still turned on by you, I'm prone to believe it. So try to stop making this your "problem", any more that its his fault that he might not be "big enough" to cause more friction... right??

Try this "odd" position... with you reasonably stimulated and ready, mentally and physically for sex.

Have him lie on the bed, on his back. You lie on him, your back to his chest, your rear to his pelvis, at a slight angle so your head is next to his. It helps to have a pillow to support your head. With him hard, help him inside you for intercourse. Sometimes its easier to insert sitting up (reverse cowgirl) and then lay back. His legs on the outside of yours. This position might be awkward for you, but with the right support, it'll be OK.

He should rock you up and down... toward to head and foot of the bed. You don't need to do anything... in fact, let him control the trusting completely. The pressure of your bottom will curve perfectly into his pelvis. By opening and squeezing his legs together he can "tighten" the pressure around his penis, and this squeezing motion also stimulates regions lateral to the penis. If he doesn't do this, tell him to, asking him to squeeze his legs and then open them again. His hands will have complete access to your breasts, your neck... he can nibble at your ears, your neck... it's a powerful position for him. If you can turn your head, you might be able to bite at his ears, a killer "move"... though not easy for you.

As he rocks you up and down and runs his hands over your chest, you focus on you. Self stimulate yourself with your finger, or with a vibe. Don't be afraid to do this. There are vibes that don't look at all like dildos, so that stigma is gone... and you can use it to stim him some to start, so he gets over any hangups. All it takes is one great orgasm shared to get over any hang ups. This position did nothing for that partner until she self stimulated while I was after her ears with my mouth. It was the first time we had simultaneous orgasms.

The angle of this position should help him. The pressure at his pelvis should also. By the time he's done his legs might be aching from the work, but I'm hoping this different position helps.

Outside of this, other postitions might help... on your side, leg raised, him kneeling from behind... again, you can self stim some and at the same time catch his scrotum a little now and then with your fingers.. adding to the sensations.

Try not to be frustrated. My previous partner had the same situation, and her previous lover gave up on her. It just took some different stimuli to get it to work for the both of us.

Also, does he ever take you to orgasm orally? If the above positions seem to work for him, but not you, see if you can get off first, then assume a position that helps him.

Good luck. Let us know how things go.