[dawn_06]

My husbands mom lives in the same small city as us and will go 4 months at a time without seeing our daughters. We are younger parents and would love to have a nights break and have fun she always says how much she loves them especially the oldest and would love to watch them and never does. She says she will and than when we call she will either ignore or make up and excuse, this is DRIVING me crazy? My grandparents (who also live here)watch the girls all the time and have a close relationship with both of our daughters and my mom travels about 15 hours one way to see our kids 4 times a year and make sure not to miss a birthday or special holiday.. so why is this woman who lives a 5 minute drive from our house not do anything? Anyone have any advice id love to hear it because my hubby and I will fight about it!

[justcurious55]

It's not worth fighting over. It's a mean thing she's doing to ignore her own grand children but there's really nothing you can do about it except for continue to invite her to be a part of your children's lives. Invite her to birthdays, holidays, school plays, etc. but you have to realize that she may not show and you can't let that ruin the event by letting it upset you. I wouldn't bother asking her to babysit anymore. It sounds like she has a habit of flaking out so if you keep asking her ans she keeps flaking out you only have yourself to blame. Hopefully over time she'll come around but if not she only has herself to blame for not having her grandchildren be a bigger part of her life. And look on the bright side, at least your kids are close to some of their grandparents, better than not having any at all.

[Wondergirl]

How old are your children? Your mil might want to babysit them, and will even enthusiastically offer to do so, but when push comes to shove, the reality of the situation and the enormous responsibility she would have finally slap her upside the head.

Would she be receptive to having them over while you or your husband are there too? She could then see how easy it is, OR realize that she is right after all, that she couldn't handle them alone.

And in the long run, you may be better off that she doesn't take her "turn" babysitting them. You don't want someone caring for your kids if that person feels inadequate or stressed or disinterested.

(My mother was a wonderful grandmother--sat down on the floor to play, rocked babies and told stories to young ones, played board games, allowed the grandkids to help her make brownies or cookies or pick the meat off chicken bones when she made pot pies. My mil didn't have a clue how to relate to her grandchildren--ended up handing them dollar bills and store-bought cookies and plopping them in front of the TV to keep them quiet. Not all grandmothers are into their grandkids.)

[nicki143]

I know exactly how you feel my ex mother in law never comes to see my kids even when we were together my parents are always there.
We even lived at on point down the road from her and she still never visisted.
At the end of the day I would not worry about it the way I see it is that she is the one that is missing out on her grandchildren growing up

[bernice60]

I am a mother in law and am not allowed to be around or have the girls alone. Her mother, who got pregnant when she was 16, has the girls anytime she wants. I'm not sure if it's the signal that is given off between daughter and mother in law, but sons don't help if they can't make things right. Maybe, it's because the mother in law has worked all her life and has had to raise kids by herself (not because she is single but because husband is gone a lot). Maybe invite her for lunch, fix up a picnic and go to the park. Find out what she would like in a relationship, maybe she's afraid she will be stuck babysitting all the time. Unless you talk to her to find out why, you will never have an answer. I wish you all the luck in the world and hopefully you can get it resolved before long. I am getting to be a very lonely person because of my children's battles.