[topladyj]

I really need help I have a alcoholic boyfriend who got a dui we owed the laywer one hundred dollars more, then he got another one. So he has been in drug court and the money is absoultly insane. He recently got his alcohol detection braclett off, and we have gotten his license back. The other day I came home and could tell he had been drinking. He gets real talkative and wants to be a smart about everything. I just don't know if it is worth it sometimes. In between the dui's I caught him getting some 20yr old server he works with drunk at her house, when he had just called me saying he was leaving the kids grandmas house. Well we made it though that. And I am an attractive lady. I do love him but I am tired of paying for the bills cause his money can only cover the dui . I have never lived with a guy besides him so if we do split up I don't even know how to do it. I just keep hoping he won't go back to drinking and everything will be okay. He does some of the dumbest while intoxicated. ANY ADVISE PLEASE BE SINCERE.

[bunnyshock]

You I lived with a 21 yr for 2years he drank all the time would get so drunk he pee the bed every night and do the stupidest to impress his friends I got the out of that relationship.

[butterflyforever]

I would try to get him help as a friend.. but def not be with him, but be supportive as a friend... I think you can personally do better alcholics can equal abuse but be there as a friend he needs that for example maybe go with him while he attends group sessions and if he refuses help then just offer yourself as a support system for when he's ready etc.. But be with him his out the question.

[topladyj]

What If I Am Already With Him We Just Had Our 4 Year Anniversery In Jan. Today He Is A Totally Different Person The Guy That I Love. It Is So Wishy Washy

[Hellomylove07]

Hayy,
My name is Teresa. I am 14 years old. I know how you feel. I've been through it, not with my boyfriend but with my mom. Just remember this *Alcoholism is NOT a choice. It's a desease.* It's very dangerous. And looking at what your going through right now... I know you know.My mom use to drink heavily. Before she stopped drinking, she was the WORST person I could ever be around. Her and my dad both. My mom use to drink till she past out. Use to get so drunk she didn't even know who me and my sister were, we had to show her pictures and tell her stories get videos out and everything. She was horrible. She would fight and curse. In the middle of the night I would hear my mom and Dad fighting. I would never get enough sleep, I'd stay up and cry... for hours even when they were asleep. I hated my life. But there is help. There are plenty of ways to get your Boyfriend some help. And you will deffinately like the outcome afterwards. My mom got in touch with the local AA(Alcoholics Anonymous) Intergroup(your boyfriend can do the same), stayed there for 30 days(month or so) and then came home. I saw a total different side of my mom. She actually hugged me like she meant it. I got an awesome relationship with her and she was continuously going to meetings to share and listen to what people had to say. Honestly, I never understood the meetings when I was little because goodness me I was only 6 and my sister was 9. but, we met people who cared about us, as much as helped my mom. My mom has celebrated 7 years of sobriety. I promise you that when you go to the local AA Intergroup you will find help. Ask for pamplets and set them around the house where your Boyfriend can see them.

There is also meetings for girlfriends or family members of a alcoholic. They are Al-Anon meetings. They have helped me and A lot of people I know. So I know for sure that it can help you.

Your boyfriend may think It's not a big deal but it really is. He may not realize it now but it is. Alcoholism is a serious disease.

If you need anything or have ANY questions, you can contact me from my E-Mail address
It's
[email protected], or
[email protected]
That is also my AIM too.
I'm here for you anytime. God Bless.

[templelane]

By not leaving him and paying his bills you are enabling him to continue as he is. Sometimes they just don't realise the state their life is in until the friends and family stop cushioning them from the reality of their situation.

Also don't just stay with someone because you are afraid to be alone. You can do it and you will be fine.

Give him an ultimatum and stick to it. Get help for your disease or I am leaving.

Personally I wouldn't even give him that, it would be call be when you have your addiction under control. But I put up with an alcoholic for too long and I am now decidedly jaded.

[topladyj]

Hayy,
My name is Teresa. I am 14 years old. I know how you feel. I've been through it, not with my boyfriend but with my mom. Just remember this *Alcoholism is NOT a choice. It's a desease.* It's very dangerous. and looking at what your going through right now...i know you know.My mom use to drink heavily. Before she stopped drinking, she was the WORST person i could ever be around. her and my dad both. My mom use to drink till she past out. Use to get so drunk she didn't even know who me and my sister were, we had to show her pictures and tell her stories get videos out and everything. She was horrible. she would fight and curse. In the middle of the night i would hear my mom and Dad fighting. I would never get enough sleep, I'd stay up and cry...for hours even when they were asleep. I hated my life. But there is help. there are plenty of ways to get your Boyfriend some help. and you will deffinately like the outcome afterwards. My mom got in touch with the local AA(Alcoholics Anonymous) Intergroup(your boyfriend can do the same), stayed there for 30 days(month or so) and then came home. I saw a total different side of my mom. She actually hugged me like she meant it. I got an awesome relationship with her and she was continuously going to meetings to share and listen to what people had to say. Honestly, I never understood the meetings when i was little because goodness me i was only 6 and my sister was 9. but, we met people who cared about us, as much as helped my mom. My mom has celebrated 7 years of sobriety. I promise you that when you go to the local AA Intergroup you will find help. Ask for pamplets and set them around the house where your Boyfriend can see them.

There is also meetings for girlfriends or family members of a alcoholic. They are Al-Anon meetings. They have helped me and ALOT of people i know. so i know for sure that it can help you.

Your boyfriend may think It's not a big deal but it really is. He may not realize it now but it is. Alcoholism is a serious desease.

If you need anything or have ANY questions, you can contact me from my E-Mail address
It's
[email protected], or
[email protected]
that is also my AIM too.
I'm here for you anytime. God Bless.

Thank you so much for your help you sound pretty smart at 14. My boyfriend does go to meetings three nights a week and naic dui classes three nights a week also. Maybe i should go to alanon i think it might help. He just recently fell off the wagon but i hope he says on it for i do love him and his kid. I am still going to stick around and keep trying to support him. He has to go to the meetings otherwise he will go to jail on the weekends. I just hope he wants it too. I grew up with my mom always having drunk husbands around so i know what you feel like. Although none of them ever stopped she finally got her crap together and is with a decent man now. Thanks for your email too by the way.

[topladyj]

By not leaving him and paying his bills you are enabling him to continue as he is. Sometimes they just don't realise the state their life is in until the friends and family stop cushioning them from the reality of their situation.

Also don't just stay with someone because you are afraid to be alone. You can do it and you will be fine.

Give him an ultimatum and stick to it. Get help for your disease or I am leaving.

Personally I wouldn't even give him that, it would be call be when you have your addiction under control. But I put up with an alcoholic for too long and I am now decidedly jaded.

Well i have been with him for four years so when either one of us has needed the money the other comes up with it. He got a dui and thank god we got his license back. I do feel i can stand on my own two feet but i do love him at the same time. He just recently fell off the wagon after being sober for like six months so i know he can do it and has it in him he just has to want to quit. I tried to stick it to him last night but he was drunk and wouldn't listen i will try tonight hopefully he will be sober. Thank you so much for being there for me.:o

[Hellomylove07]

Yea, My birthday was in January, so I'm finally 15.
I get that a lot. People say I can be very mature for my age. Aha.
And you are SO very welcome for the email.
I know what it's like to have someone you love go through all that mess.
My mom had troubles with her husband(my parents are divorced) and she got remarried)
They have recently divorced too. And I thank god for that. I personally hated him. I don't dislike people let alone use the word hate so when I say hate I mean it.
But he basically tried to be my Dad and I didn't allow it.
Then my mom and him started having problems and well... she plain out told him if he didn't clean up then she was going to kick him out. Well.. he didn't consider it and moved out that weekend. So. She has a new boyfriend and treats her with respect and me and my sister with respect. I'm happy for her and he proposed. I'm excited. Aha. But keep me posted I'd love to hear how He's doing and you too. I'm always here if you need a girl to talk too. Very much love.
God Bless.