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    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,100, Reputation: 236
    Ultra Member
     
    #1

    Feb 24, 2008, 09:08 PM
    What are You?
    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:
    You're walking down a
    Deserted street with your wife
    And
    Two small children.

    Suddenly, an Islamic
    Terrorist with a huge knife
    Comes
    Around the corner, locks eyes with you,
    Screams obscenities, praises
    Allah, raises the
    Knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

    You have mere seconds
    Before he reaches you and your family. What
    Do
    You do?

    ...




    Think carefully and
    Then scroll down:










    Democrat's
    Answer :


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does
    The man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that
    Would inspire
    Him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife
    Think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club
    And knock
    The knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about
    This situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
    Of message
    Does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be
    Happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would
    He be
    Content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold
    On, could my
    Family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call
    9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have
    Paint and weed day and
    Make this happier, healthier street that
    Would
    Discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to
    Debate this with
    Some friends for few days and try to come to a
    Consensus.

    ...



    Republican's
    Answer:



    Bang!


    ...



    Redneck's Answer:


    Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
    Bang !
    Click... (Sounds of reloading)
    Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
    Bang! Bang!
    Bang! Click
    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those
    The
    Ball Ammo or Hollow Points? '
    Son: 'Can I shoot the next
    One? '
    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Feb 24, 2008, 09:13 PM
    One little problemo with your story


    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

    Wouldn't be a liberal Democrat


    Redneck all the way!!
    cal823's Avatar
    cal823 Posts: 867, Reputation: 116
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Feb 24, 2008, 09:20 PM
    I think it would be wrong to use hollow points, depleted uranium rounds would work much better.
    bellasenora60's Avatar
    bellasenora60 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #4

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:34 PM
    Oh my god... hahahaha I love it! I totally thought bang... yay, I'm not a nincompoop that likes to play 20 questions
    jennyrena's Avatar
    jennyrena Posts: 37, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:45 PM
    By the time you asked all the questions you'd be dead. And since I'm holding the gun I'd shoot him in the knee's . If my husband were holding the gun he would go bang ! Bang! Bang! Bye bye bad guy. And my family would be safe.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:47 PM
    Twenty questions would only be the game after the first shot. Make that the first twenty shots.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:52 PM
    I'd gut him and pull his intestines out then burn him him and hang him for all to see. LOL!
    FallenFromGrace's Avatar
    FallenFromGrace Posts: 101, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Feb 25, 2008, 06:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    I'd gut him and pull his intestines out then burn him him and hang him for all to see. LOL!
    Me too. When I was feeling friendly.
    Scottish2008's Avatar
    Scottish2008 Posts: 501, Reputation: 32
    Senior Member
     
    #9

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:43 AM
    Bang. One shot one kill. You did mention weapons that I would be carrying. Where did the ammunition come from? Anyway it was just a point.
    cal823's Avatar
    cal823 Posts: 867, Reputation: 116
    Senior Member
     
    #10

    Feb 26, 2008, 09:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by FallenFromGrace
    Me too. When I was feeling friendly.
    And when not feeling friendly, superheated enema time! :)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #11

    Feb 26, 2008, 10:30 PM
    If I lived in the states I'd be a redneck all the way. Although I have to say that the super heated enema sounds intriguing, if I went with that option what would I be?
    FallenFromGrace's Avatar
    FallenFromGrace Posts: 101, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Feb 26, 2008, 10:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg
    If I lived in the states I'd be a redneck all the way. Although I have to say that the super heated enema sounds intriguing, if I went with that option what would I be?
    A Redneck Proctologist
    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 299
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Feb 26, 2008, 10:55 PM
    I would just knock him out with the butt of the gun, tie him up and take him home. Then, I would make a video of me in a black mask chopping off his head for Al Jazera TV. After hours of just plain fu#ki@g with him, of course.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #14

    Feb 26, 2008, 10:59 PM
    Magprob- You're scary, I like it.

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