[phyllistar]

My husband and I are unfortunately unable to have children. We have an acquaintance that has been a surrogant mother before and is willing to help us out through IVF (a process in which the clinic uses my egg and my husband's sperm). The price of surrogancy seems very high, but we are able to afford this process. The question I am confused about is the involvement of the surrogant mother after the children are born. Do surrogant mothers come visit the children 1-2 times a week? She wants to and I do not know how to tell her that this is too much. Is this a normal process, or is there a point that IS too much? I know that there should be an acclimation period for me and my husband to bond with our new children and I am afraid that this would hurt her feelings. Please answer, I am in disarray!

[ScottGem]

I assume you mean surrogate mother. Haven't a clue what a sergeant mother is.

Generally no, a surrogate does not maintain a relationship with the child after birth.

[Wondergirl]

A surrogate mother is usually only an incubator for a fetus that has been started from your egg and your husband's sperm. None of her body parts have been used to create a child. If this is the case, she has no claim on the child and will not cause trouble.

If her egg and your husband's sperm are united, that sets up a whole different scenario.

[char291]

As its your egg and your husbands sperm, the only thing she is doing is helping it along. After the birth, there is absolutely no attachment to the baby with her. The child would be 100% yours.