[anitaseason]

I'm going to file for divorce by myself by downloading papers; but one of things I need to know is how do I present or show proof that spouse has been a long time acohol & drug user?

[George_1950]

I'm going to file for divorce by myself by downloading papers; but one of things i need to know is how do i present or show proof that spouse has been a long time acohol & drug user?

You present or show proof by other people who saw an event, usually family or friends, or waiters, bouncers, policemen. Or you may be able to use hospital records. Why do you want to prove this kind of conduct in your divorce?

[anitaseason]

You present or show proof by other people who saw an event, usually family or friends, or waiters, bouncers, policemen. Or you may be able to use hospital records. Why do you want to prove this kind of conduct in your divorce?

Thanks,
It's not that I want do go into this it just the questions are asked in the questionnaire;
So I'm just being honest with my answers. I've been married for 18 yrs and this has been a part of the cycle. What is your profession ?

[Fr_Chuck]

And what do you want to prove by showing this. Are you wanting to use this to get child custody, or to help show something, since in most places, there is no need to prove any reason for the divorce.

But to be honest if your soon to be ex does not agree to the divorce you really need an attorney, Plus if you both agree to all the terms, it is farily cheap for both of you to merely hire one attorney to do and file the divoce papers.

[anitaseason]

Hi I have another question.. I've filed the divorce papers myself & paid the fee +fee to serve
My husband which he blew up about it he knew it but I don't think he believed would really
Go through with it; anyway will I still be granted the divorce cause he threatens to not show up for the hearing not to have anything to do with it... that's why I previously started to tell of the addiction so that I could be free it's been 28 years to long

[JudyKayTee]

hi i have another question..I've filed the divorce papers myself & paid the fee +fee to serve
my husband which he blew up about it he knew it but i don't think he believed would really
go thru with it; anyway will i still be granted the divorce cause he threatens to not show up for the hearing not to have anything to do with it....that's why i previously started to tell of the addiction so that i could be free it's been 28 years to long

Certainly - if he was properly served and your papers are in order you will be granted an uncontested divorce with minimum proof. Some Courts won't take alcoholism as grounds (I'm not sure what words you used) and will change it to cruel and inhuman treatment or something similar. Depends on the State.

Never a good idea to represent yourself because of spousal support, division of property, but if you are determined to do so the Court will allow it.

(George's advice, by the way, was sound and not out of line. You posted, he answered. His profession has nothing to do with the quality of his advice on this issue.)

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, actually not showing up makes it easier sometimes than if he showed up and was fighting it. But again, without an attorney will you know what to tell the court, what motions to file to go ahead for the divorce.
If this is not a agreed to divorce you really need an attprney

[anitaseason]

Certainly - if he was properly served and your papers are in order you will be granted an uncontested divorce with minimum proof. Some Courts won't take alcoholism as grounds (I'm not sure what words you used) and will change it to cruel and inhuman treatment or something similar. Depends on the State.

Never a good idea to represent yourself because of spousal support, division of property, but if you are determined to do so the Court will allow it.

(George's advice, by the way, was sound and not out of line. You posted, he answered. His profession has nothing to do with the quality of his advice on this issue.)

Just trying to make sure.. cause there have been many years of habitual drug & alcohol abuse. The advice for representation is good if I could have done that but I can't.. thats why I had to do it myself. There was no disrepect meant by asking his profession just curious to know if the people here on this website are knowledable in the laws... because I happened to stumble upon this website. I really didn't know.

I have asked for spousal support.Also I did not answer yes to the questions about the addictions and now I'm wondering should I.. He acts as if he may try to give me a hard time.

[George_1950]

Just curious: from where did you download your papers?
Some states recognize "no fault" divorce, meaning all you have to say under oath is that there is no hope for reconciliation; but beware such conduct as sleeping together after the divorce has been filed, in which case the divorce may be dismissed by your conduct. If you aren't in a no fault state, you may have to show evidence to sustain your burden of proof; you can testify about what you have seen, what you have done, what he has done, and what he has said. In order to be awarded spousal support, you will have to show that you are financially dependent on his income; you should have your tax returns for the last couple of years and recent pay stubs. It will probably be to your advantage to amend the answers to the questions about the addictions.

[anitaseason]

Just curious: from where did you download your papers?
Some states recognize "no fault" divorce, meaning all you have to say under oath is that there is no hope for reconciliation; but beware such conduct as sleeping together after the divorce has been filed, in which case the divorce may be dismissed by your conduct. If you aren't in a no fault state, you may have to show evidence to sustain your burden of proof; you can testify about what you have seen, what you have done, what he has done, and what he has said. In order to be awarded spousal support, you will have to show that you are financially dependent on his income; you should have your tax returns for the last couple of years and recent pay stubs. It will probably be to your advantage to amend the answers to the questions about the addictions.

From a free website in Atlanta Ga call ICANDOCS... no we have not sleep together & will
Not that's not a problem for me. My husband is the sole provider and has been for 18 years
Thanks for your answers & suggestions

[JudyKayTee]

just trying to make sure ..cause there have been many years of habitual drug & alcohol abuse. the advice for representation is good if I could have done that but I can't ..thats why I had to do it myself. there was no disrepect meant by asking his profession just curious to know if the people here on this website are knowledable in the laws...because I happened to stumble upon this website. I really didn't know.

I have asked for spousal support.Also I did not answer yes to the questions about the addictions and now I'm wondering should I.. he acts as if he may try to give me a hard time.

It's always a better policy to be 100% truthful on legal papers because what you said yesterday can come back and haunt you tomorrow. If he decides to appear (I mean if he appears legally) and you have not said anything about alcohol abuse or - worse yet - have indicated there is no alcohol abuse involved you cannot suddenly change your mind and make that argument.

Just a heads up.

As far as the people who post and answer - everyone comes from a different place. Some from education, some from employment, some from personal experience. It's a real mix and match but very, very insightful.

[excon]

Hello anita:

It's a very rare relationship where for 18 or 28 years, ONE party does drugs and drinks heavily, while the other one doesn't. Rarer still, is a party who can do that, and be the sole PROVIDER for his family.

IF that's the case in YOUR relationship, then I would certainly mention it. If, however, that's NOT the case, you're not doing yourself any favors by bringing up HIS stuff and not your own.

excon