[Curious0-1]

I have a boyfriend who I Love dearly. I would do anything in the world for him. We have been together for 3 years. He is away from me, and he will be for about 6 months. It's a personal situation... Nothing bad. Anyway! I am 21 years old. I still consider myself a baby. We have plans to get married this year, when he returns home. My worry is that he is 25, and he would like to have a baby when he returns. I am not ready! I have told him and he agrees ladela! But I'm afraid that when he comes back, he is going to start to push me to have a baby. I know he feels that way because he is older and he feels that he doesn't want to be "old" when he has his first baby. BUT!! I am only 21. I am barely in college, I work my little toosh off like crazy! I have so many things going on in my life (Good things) that having a child would just get in the way. I am not ready to have a child. I feel that I am still a child myself, and I am too selfish to take care of a little cute baby. I still want to work for myself, buy my own things, buy a house, have a nice car, have a career before I actuallly have a child. I want so much with my life, when I want something good for myself I push myself. I am strong! It's just that I a m really not ready for a child!! Sometimes I say OMG that would be so cute for us to have one, but I got to think realistically. What can I do to let my b/f know that I want to baby, or what can I tell him so that he doesn't push me into having one? WHat do you guys think? Am I dumb? Or do I have a good point?:o

[wilddog27]

Great point you have.. You just got to tell him how you feel. He should respect your wishes. He'd be silly not to. You're trying to make a future for yourself and him and eventually a baby. I'd respect a woman's decision for that reason

[Chery]

You've been together and happy for three years, so I gather that you also communicate well and there is trust.
He might feel a man's biological clock ticking, but should trust your clock as well. Tell him with love that having his baby would be wonderful, but that the 'nest' and mental attitude have to also be just right and lay down your plan for him as you see it.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

[simoneaugie]

Older people make wonderful parents too.

[templelane]

At 25 he's not exactly over the hill either! What indications has he given you that he might want a baby soon? Or are you just panicking. I don't mean that in a bad way I just know a lot of people who think too much and end up worrying that the other person wants x, y, z and they actually don't.

Right anecdote time. This taught me a lesson about communication. My boyfriend and I were at a festival and I thought he really wanted to watch this band I hated, so I didn't say anything and stood for 2 hours hating ever second. Turns out he also hated the band and was standing hating every second because he thought I wanted to watch all the bands. We both felt like idiots when we found out!

So how do you know your boyfriend isn't saying how much he likes kids because he thinks you'd really like kids? A kind of catch 22 situation of each one of you loving the other so much you don't communicate quiet right.

This could not be the situation of course but I think you need to check whether it is.

Good luck I'm sure you'll both get it sorted out :)