[Confused_On_Color]

Hoesntly, My home life is terrible. All me and my parents do is fight and fight and then fight some more. They accuse me of being on drugs and being a cutter all the time! I even told them if they didn't believe I'd write down everyone of my friends phone #'s and take a drug test they could ask them! I hoesntly just can't stand being here, and the rest of my family is just as brain washed.

All they do is criticize me, my clothes, and everything about me. And hoesntly most of the time it is enough to bring me to tears. I have ask them so many times to lay off my style and such. And as I mentioned before I even agreed to do anything to prove I'm not suicidal or a junkie! That's not the kind of person I am.

Getting to my point in my personal opinion I think it would be best for me to just get out of here. Because I know it isn't healthy for me to be pushed to tears almost everyday. So I got an offer to move in with a close friend of mine. They make substanial money. So personally I do see a solid reason for me to leave. Can any one please help clairify what it is exactly the steps I am supposed to take? I live in Pennsylvania. I did some research, but it still isn't crystal clear to me.

[Wondergirl]

May I ask, how old are you?

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry, most emancipation laws require you to have a job that earns enough for you to support yourself, moving in with a friend does not count.

[Confused_On_Color]

I have my own means of income and Im 16.

[Wondergirl]

I was once 16 and I remember not being allowed to attend dances and being 7 miles away from h.s. so I couldn't go to any after-school or evening get-togethers or parties because we had only one car and I couldn't drive anyway. Meanwhile, each of us kids did daily chores to keep the house and yard neat. I remember wanting so much to be grown up and out of my parents' house so I could live life the way I wanted to. Now I would give my eye teeth to return to those days.

Are there any good times with your family? Are you doing your part as a family member? Does their criticism have anything to do with how you don't help out or don't obey the rules?

Is your income (a part-time job?) enough to support you? This means food and rent and transportation costs and medical coverage plus school/book fees?

[Confused_On_Color]

Everyday, I Make my bed and do whatever she asks me to clean. Im usually pretty easy going. They're criticism is usually directed at my clothing. Honestly I can't really say I have too many good memories w/ my family. Growing up my parents got separated and me and my mother lived with my grandmother. I am extremely distanced from my father, true we live in the same house but why must every little thing I do wrong be screamed at me?

The slightest mistake and he instantly yells. I can't stand living like this and crying everyday. I obey their rules religiously because I can't stand when people yell at me.

My income has me bringing in about 550$ every two weeks. Which is enough to support my diet, transportation, and insurance. I am going to test to get my GED next Thursday. Which if I pass would give me my GED, but I won't officailly have the certificate until my class graduates.

[Wondergirl]

I'm getting the feeling that you are the scapegoat, the fall guy. Your parents are mad at each other and themselves and take it out on you, unfortunately?

You said you do your best but still get yelled at. Are there any GOOD times?

Have you ever called a crisis hotline for help and advice?

[Confused_On_Color]

Nah my friends are usually my escape. But half the time I can't even get out to see them...

They fight a lot and then they're always in bad moods but if I get even a little annoyed they freak out and call me a . Yes, isuppose you could call me a scapegoat in some form.

As for as the good times go, it really is hard to think of good memories I have w/ my father. And my mother just never stops saying that she's going to die long before my Dad. And my father just blames everything that's wrong with his health on me and my mother.

[Wondergirl]

So neither of them is taking responsibility for anything in their lives. Have they ever done any kind of counseling?

Where would go? To your bf's house? A girlfriend's? And for how long?

What if your parents call the police to get you back? You are underage, you know.

[Confused_On_Color]

Well I have a great guy that I'm seeing and I'm going to hammer out all that I need to know before springing it on them. Knowing my parents they like to know like everything before something happens so I'm gonngtry to get everything I know ill need for court and stuff and have all my arrangements set up.

We went to family counseling one time, and that's because they think that it's my fault for all their problems with health and... My mother used to go to a therapist, and she made me go sometimes but I always had to sit in the waiting room while she went for a 2 hr session.

[Wondergirl]

Yeah, I always loved doing family counseling at Catholic Charities. The mother would make an appointment, and the whole family would show up. One of the kids would be pushed in front of me with the plea, "Fix this kid." Of course, the child's problems were usually the tip of the iceberg. The parents had to learn how to get along with each other and with the kids. The kids had to learn to get along with the parents and with each other. That's why it's called family SYSTEMS therapy.

Will your parents accept your moving out? Is this the same boyfriend you didn't want to eat in front of??

[Confused_On_Color]

No this guy is basically the real deal for me. There's something about him that just just clicks we get along we don't fight yea I know I sound naïve for saying that but for the most part it's a great relationship. And my parents will have to get over I'm sick of their crap I'm not an emotional punching bag.

[Wondergirl]

So what are your plans after you leave home? To move in with him and his family?

I still wonder if your parents will take that lying down. Then they will be stuck with only each other.

[Confused_On_Color]

Well whether they take it or not is no longer my concern. Marriage is a bond that should be honored, respected, and nurtured. Not hid from, or disgraced. It sohuld about love not war, and truth not apathacy.

So my plans are really to just continue on in my life, me and him agreed that we both want me to stay in school. We talked it over I want to stay working, and get engaged when I turn 17.

[Wondergirl]

Marriage? You plan to marry this boyfriend? Yes, whether they take it IS your concern. You are underage.

Staying in school is better than getting a GED. I thought you started this thread by saying you plan to take the test?

[Confused_On_Color]

That's an option I do plan on taking the test. I talked to a school consuler and he agrees it's a good idea for me to take the test for my GED but still stay in school. THat way if I do leave ill have my GED.

[Confused_On_Color]

I do understand it's my concern. It was a bad choice of words to say it wasn't, what I meant was that I really don't care what they think any more. And yes I do plan on marrying him but only when I'm ready.

[Wondergirl]

And where will you be living meanwhile?

[Confused_On_Color]

Meanwhile?

[Confused_On_Color]

Hey we shall continue this conversation tomorrow. I need sleep.