[mmakl]

My boyfriend split up with me more then a year ago. We hardly have been in touch, but when we did it was always quite pleasant. He has another girlfriend at the moment who is very clingy. The last two times I saw him I felt a connection again. Although I have done al lot of things the last year, learned a lot about myself, I still think of him and would like to have him back.
What would be my actions?

[JBeaucaire]

How clingy or even your opinion of his current GF is irrelevant, OK? Stop rating her, stop considering yourself better than her, you're not.

Having said that, she is just a GF. There are no rules saying you can't establish contact with and initiate "interest" in any guy who isn't married.

Just be a lady about it. Tell him you're interested again if he's ever TOTALLY available, but apply no improprer pressure beyond that. You DO nothing with him until he's a free man and proves it.

Make sure at all times you treat him (and his current GF) with the respect you would want, but giving information is not a sin. Feel free. But no "other woman" behavior. That's not you, OK?

[talaniman]

Leave that door closed, as that would be trying to help him cheat, by letting him pursue you. If he would do it to her, he would do it to you, so leave it alone.

[mmakl]

I would never start something with him again while he is still with his girlfriend. That would not be fair to any of us. But the fact is that I still care a lot for him when I see him, believe me I have tried to forget him and I am moving on in life, have dates etc, but they don't go anywhere and when I see my ex I still feel a warm glow for him.
I will try and attract him back to me, There is no harm in that and time will tell.

[byondkontrol]

If your ex still had feelings for you don't you think he would try to go back with you? Apparently he doesn't feel that his current g/f is " too clingy" because he is still with her. Ex's are that for a reason and should you both go back the same reasons that you broke up will still be there it's apparent that they haven't been resolved or he wouldn't be your "ex".
If he is still seeing you from time to time, it could be that he enjoys talking to you. It's easier to talk to an ex about problems because the commitment and feelings aren't there anymore.
You claim you are moving on with your life followed with " I will try to attract him back to me" . Sorry that is not moving on with your life that is trying to intrude in his and his new g/f's life.
The second reason he is still talking to you is that he wants his cake and eat it to. If you're OK with being the "other" woman then keep talking to him, but if you have any morals and self respect you will be happy for him and his new life.

[mmakl]

Now, I do respect my ex! I just want to show him that I have changed, because I have. This break up has made me think of myself and I have learned a lot of it. When I see my ex I don't want to play games or anything or ignore him, I don't believe in this. If he chooses for his girlfriend I respect that, but if he might change his mind I would like him to think of me as an option again. I do move forward, I have been on dates and I get on with my life and enjoy myself. Only when I see my ex and I live in a small community, I do feel a warm glow, that comes up and I can't deny that. But I would never force myself on my ex! In the end he has to choose, but there is nothing wrong in showing him that I have changed!

[byondkontrol]

I am not sure what your past with him was like and how you changed you didn't elaborate on that. But that is what life is about, learning experiences, both good and bad. I think it's great that you have evaluated yourself and got a better perspective. It's time to take that to your new relationship and let some lucky man reap the benefits.
Put yourself in the other girls shoes. What if, during your relationship with your ex you had some woman in the background scheming to get him back? How would you feel? You had your time with him and it was your choice what you did with that time, whether it was a healthy productive time or not. Now it's her turn!
I'm not trying to be harsh but he HAS made his decision, he "chose" to be with his new girlfriend. If a man wants you he will definitely let you know. I'm not disputing you get a warm glow when you see him. You both had a past history together, it's common to feel that way, there will always be a connection.
I wish you love and happiness in your life and I hope with your new found revelation of yourself you find that special someone, just not someone else's special someone

[talaniman]

Saying you've changed is not change as proving you have to an ex, that probably dumped you is, a waste of time and pretty selfish, I think. You would ruin his happiness now, to get what you want? Very unhealthy. Keep changing, and someone will be attracted enough to check you out. Am I right, or wrong, that he dumped you??