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sunshine79 · Feb 13, 2008, 09:18 AM

I'm just looking for some insight.

When I broke up with my boyfriend and kicked him out it was because of some issues that we were having, mostly money and his drinking. At the time he was planning on proposing to me and had a ring and everything! After I kicked him out I found text messages between him and a girl that he works with for the whole month before that I kicked him out. He claims they were inapropriate texts but that it never went further.

It has been two weeks and he has been seen out with who I can only assume is this girl - mostly at bars and dinner. So he sees her everyday at work and then is spending lots of his free time with her. We are no longer talking but when we broke up he made it very clear to me that he wanted nothing to do with any girls for awhile but now I find out that was a lie too.

I will never get a straight answer for him but would love some guidance from any of you. He wanted to marry me so how was he able to move on so quickly? Is he really that heartless? Can a person move on to someone they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with and never look back? Does he not even think about me or care how much he hurt me?

Romefalls19 · Feb 13, 2008, 09:22 AM

The only thing I can really think he is doing is trying to kill the pain he has? It has nothing to do with being heartless, I would place money on the fact that he is missing your and still cares but is trying to replace you but being around with this other girl. Don't let it get to you, or at least show it gets to you. You're a great girl and will find someone who compliments your personality very well and he will be the one hurting then

talaniman · Feb 13, 2008, 09:31 AM

You have just learned a very important lesson to remember, never trust a liar, or a drunk. His actions speak volumes as to his feelings and be glad he is out of your life and is some one else's problem. Liars and drunks, make terrible mates. You want insights, you trusted your instincts, and did what you had to to protect yourself, so I applaud your actions immensely. Be very happy with yourself ,and you will attract good people to share it with. NO DOUBT!! Pray for his new victim, she needs it.

talaniman · Feb 13, 2008, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

The only thing I can really think he is doing is trying to kill the pain he has? It has nothing to do with being heartless, I would place money on the fact that he is missing your and still cares but is trying to replace you but being around with this other girl. Don't let it get to you, or at least show it gets to you. You're a great girl and will find someone who compliments your personality very well and he will be the one hurting then

Had to spread the darn rep again, but your right, he chose the easy path. Instead of changing his behavior, and get his act together to keep her, he moved to a new "victim". Typical of liars and drunks. Shows what he is made of.

sunshine79 · Feb 13, 2008, 09:48 AM

I just wish he could have had enough respect for me to come clean and be honest. It would make this so much easier. Instead the last few times we talked he has been so mean to me and making me feel bad about us breaking up and hurting him when the whole time I have done nothing but support him.

I am also partly shocked that he has not tried to contact me. I wonder if it is out of guilt or if the last 2 years we have been living together have just been a whole lie. Can guys just move on and forget the girl they loved and replace her easily?

bellamountain · Feb 13, 2008, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Typical of liars and drunks. Shows what he is made of.

I agree he is not willing to work on himself and just wants to stay in the place that he's in BARs. Well, you should definitely work on yourself while you get through this, figure out what you want in a relationship and except nothing less you will find it.FONT]

bellamountain · Feb 13, 2008, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by sunshine79

Instead the last few times we talked he has been so mean to me and making me feel bad about us breaking up and hurting him when the whole time i have done nothing but support him.

He is lashing out at you because he's hurt and probably thinking how dare you break up with him and not try to work things out. But how many times have you been down that road? so whatever he does he's trying to make you feel like he's feeling. If your not interested in making things work with him and want to move on with your life you need to keep yourself busy so you don't have the time to sit and wonder why!!

sunshine79 · Feb 13, 2008, 10:19 AM

To be honest the way I feel is that he has completely moved on, started a new life and already has a new girl and is not even looking back. Can guys really do this in a matter of 2 weeks?

Romefalls19 · Feb 13, 2008, 10:21 AM

When they are trying to replace someone yes they can, but eventually it will hit him. He is nothing more than a drunk and a liar. Why would you even want that in your life? Don't you think you deserve better? I, along with many members of the forum will place bets that you DO deserve a lot better than what he will ever give you