[AspenHarlow]

I was with my boyfriend for a year and seven months. He has broken up with me and claims that he isn't in love with me anymore but my friends and family are not convinced that he doesn't love me. I am still very much in love with him and would do anything to get back together with him. We are still the best of friends but I know I will always want more. He means the world to me. His birthday is 3-28-88, mine is 10-28-91.

[JBeaucaire]

What his friends and family "believe" is irrelevant. That you are still in love with him is probably true, but he broke up with you, so that's expected.

This just means he's over you and now it's your turn. The difference is that he's got no left over stress about it and you having COMPLETE leftover stress over it. Not much can be done immediately to rectify that.

I do know that if you treat this as an "oh, I still love him, so I'm sure I can find some way to get him back... let me ask everyone" event, then you are settling down for a nice prolonged miserable breakup.

Notice he didn't do that? It takes two to be together and he's called it quits. But only takes one to obsess and stagnate over it. Are you sure that's what you want?

Loving him was fine, use that to put together a nice bunch of memories of your first love and let them help you in your next deep relationship. Don't let "love" be the excuse you use for not living in the real world and keep you from moving on.

What would you say to someone who said they liked/loved you and you honestry didn't feel the same way? Would you tell them to keep coming after you? Probably not.

[roogirl]

In a situation like this, silence is golden. Don't 'settle' for friendship until you get to the point where you don't care whether he wants you or not. Being friends while you are still hoping for more will only prolong the agony. There will come a time when he meets someone else, the friendship that was so important to him at the beginning will suddenly fall to the bottom of the priority list, and you'll be left picking up the pieces of your heart - all over again.

Make him feel the full consequences of his decision by not being available. By not being available, you are telling him that you don't need him to be happy, and that you won't waste your time holding on to some guy who just broke your heart!

Being available will further push him away and strengthen his resolve to end the relationship. It will make you appear desperate and needy, which is a sure way to repel someone. The old saying 'a hungry dog doesn't get fed' applies in this situation as well.

In summary, let him go (easier said than done!), and if he wants to come back, let him do so of his own accord.