[EuRa]

So me and my other had a conversation about bank accounts. Which system do you think would work best?

A) - One bank account that both incomes are deposited into, that pays for all monthly bills as well as personal spending (an agreed upon monthly allowance).

- or -

B) - 3 accounts. One which is a joint account used to pay for all finances, and a separate personal account for both parties in which X amount of dollars is deposited for personal spending money each month.


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I want your opinions because we have a disagreement on this issue, and I'd like to hear your opinions on this matter. Thank you!

[twinkiedooter]

Option B is the best way to go. This way the other person cannot just simply empty out the joint account of all the money recklessly or willfully.

[Fr_Chuck]

Option B, that is what we do and it works very well. I really don't want to know what the curtains cost or how much she paid for that new dress.

[George_1950]

Option B; I also recommend joint savings accounts for large ticket purchases and emergencies. If it gets more complicated, both parties need separate attorneys.

[pasiria]

It all depends. If you don't work, like in my case, I like option A, and my fiancé does not mind at all. He says he works to make me happy. I also always tell him what I spend, or ask him if I can go shopping. He'll say yes or no, wait until Friday. I wouldn't spend recklessly because I'd be hurting both of us. Option B sound too complicated. You have to keep track of all the accounts. That is my opinion.

[Fr_Chuck]

It all depends. If you don't work, like in my case, I like option A, and my fiance does not mind at all. He says he works to make me happy. I also always tell him what I spend, or ask him if I can go shopping. He'll say yes or no, wait until Friday. I wouldn't spend recklessly because I'd be hurting both of us. Option B sound too complicated. You have to keep track of all the accounts. That is my opinion.

The issue is that most women don't like the idea of "asking" permission from their husband to go shopping. Money is often the number one fight of couples.

By setting a budget, and putting a certain amount in one account to pay all of the budget bills, those are covered, the other money is a percentage agreed to that can be spent by either party, or saved up for special purchase that one party wants that the parties don't have to "ask" permission of.

[talaniman]

Married more tham 30 years, and have a household account for bills, and the rest is split down the middle for our own needs, as individuals. I still keep my own Personal account I've had through 4 bank name changes. Her account is hers, (unless I run short and resort to begging) No arguments about money here, and when we need more for home, we put more into the joint account. If there is nothing left to split, we are not happy. But we both live within our allowance, most times anyway.

[NeedKarma]

We do option B).

[HistorianChick]

Hmm... I'm going to have to argue for the other option, everyone. Option A.

I'm of the opinion that one account is perfectly acceptable. When my fiancee' and I were planning everything there really wasn't any question about a joint account... I'm not sure if it was a trust thing or just a simply question of "ease."

I guess I don't see the necessity of three separate accounts. That seems a little excessive to me. But that's just me. :)

(Probably because its what my parents did)

[JBeaucaire]

Married - option A) with the "nerd" in the family overseeing the bill-paying and the "free-spirit" in charge of the "fun" schedule.

Unmarried - Option C, not B) with a written and signed/agreed splitting of expenses. Each maintains a separate account, that's TWO accounts, not three. Unmarrieds merging monies into a single account is a recipe for difficulty. Yes, people do it. Convenient, probably. Wise? No, not at all.

Like it or not, there are legal ramifications to banking and they do not match the legal ramifications of cohabitating. If people have a bad image of marraige/divorce rate, the cohabitate/breakup rate is MUCH higher.

It will be a source of peace in the cohabitator's household to not have a joint account that can become a source of contention. Keep it separate and follow the agreed written method of bill-paying.

[NeedKarma]

HistorianChick,
I don't see it as 3 accounts. I'm assuming that both people work and already have their own bank accounts before they met. So really it's just a matter of what goes into the shared account - in our case it's the mortgage money. I made an Excel sheet for our budget with who pays what bills and that's how the rest of the expenses get paid. :)

[HistorianChick]

That's a good point, NeedK, you're way more organized than I am with money... probably one of the reasons I am always SO thankful for pay day!

:)

[NeedKarma]

It's my combination of B.B.A. and computer guy that comes into good use now and then. :)

[HistorianChick]

LOL! See, my problem is lack of said computer guy AND a B.B.A!!

Shucks... now I'm feeling woefully inadequate.

I've got to get back to work - something I KNOW I'm good at!

(I'm sticking with the one account thing though... but I recognize the benefits of both, now :))

[mafiaangel180]

I would go with option B. It sucks to ask for stuff.

But then there's the question, what do you do when one person makes a considerable amount more than the other? Is equal money put into the joint account?

[JBeaucaire]

I would go with option B...But then there's the question, what do you do when one person makes a considerable amount more than the other? Is equal money put into the joint account?

See, this underlines the problem. While cohabitating, these variances in income and graciousness and thoughtful/lessness have a much harder impact.

For marrieds... it's ALL "our" money regardless of where it comes from. Much easier to plan finances and allowances and budgets from that standpoint. But you simply CAN'T get away with that in cohabitating household.

Again, Option C - write out your mortgage agreement, make sure it includes dissolution considerations, and then each of you write your own checks and put them in the envelope together.

[EuRa]

But then there's the question, what do you do when one person makes a considerable amount more than the other? Is equal money put into the joint account?

yeah we came to the conclusion that no matter which option (A or B), that we'd both get X amount of dollars to spend per month on personal things. The same X amount of dollars per individual.

So if I made a million dollars a month, and she made 100 (hehe), we'd both get 500 dollars a month automatically depostied into our separate accounts (option B), or we'd both get to withdraw or spend 500 dollars a month from the join account (option A).

[JBeaucaire]

Is this just a mental exercise or is there some unspoken issue here you're trying to wrap your head around?

[EuRa]

Again, Option C - write out your mortgage agreement, make sure it includes dissolution considerations, and then each of you write your own checks and put them in the envelope together.

We aren't married yet, and both agree on separate accounts while we are single. But we both know that marriage is around the corner. So we are asking advice for bank accounts for married people. That's what this thread is for, bank accounts for married people.

[EuRa]

is this just a mental exercise or is there some unspoken issue here you're trying to wrap your head around?

For now, we're fine. 2 separate accounts, we aren't married.

But marriage WILL happen. The ring is almost ready, I'm ready to propose this year, and we both know we'll be married. We've talked about everything and agree on almost every facet of the relationship, except this one issue.