[DJ 'H']

I am scared to death that I have fallen in love with pete. I have allowed myself to open up and let Pete in - but I am so scared that he is going to hurt me now that I have done so - I have never known any different.

I feel so vulberable - even though I now he is not like the others.

[NeedKarma]

Permission to be blunt? Quit overthinking everything, it's going to kill you faster than a broken heart. Enjoy it, opening up to someone makes you human, as long as it's mutual.

[DJ 'H']

Thanks need karma. I do need a kick up the arse occasionally ;) - I just can't help it though. I have been having horrible nightmares about him and my ex has even been part of these nightmares. It's not good; probably why I feel the ay I do perhaps?

[mr.yet]

One must trust their partner, one must always to open and truthful in the relationships. I sure that you have been able to "read" Pete's moods by now. What does your senses tell you. If it comes from your heart than trust yourself.

[fredg]

Hi, DJ,
How long has it been since your divorce?
This is just my opinion, and in no way a Professional opinion, but I think you are just plain "scared" to allow yourself to love again right now.
It took me over 2 yrs to decide that I wanted to get married again, after my first divorce. I think I knew I was in love with my current wife, maybe a year after my first wife and I separated.
I was afraid to make a commitment again, in marriage, and at the same time, was afraid she would move on before I told her I was really serious about our relationship.
Being afraid is nothing new, and the dreams probably are your sub-conscious coming back to life in sleep. Dreams and nightmares usually happen when we are thinking about something all day long, and can't get it off our minds.
Good luck, and please just try to "take it easy", not worrying about your feelings. Give them some time.

[DJ 'H']

That's just it. Well I keep telling myself he he is not going to hurt me because he treats me so well and he shows me in more way than one that he loves me (even though he has not siad it) but I have not said it either. I do trust him not to cheat on me etc it's just perhaps more so that I am scared that he made decide the relationship is not right for him or something and I may be reading the signals wrong or something. I don't know. I just had to stop and sit on my own last night because I can't get these dreams out of my head.

The bottom line is that I want him to be happy - so if he did happen then I would be fine. Just get on with my ife (I am strong enough to do that) but at the same time would not want to lose him. I am making no sense at all am I??

[Nez]

H,I once upset Sally,because I wanted to visit a friend,and she said that we'd already planned to visit someone else.One full dinner service,and a trip to Ikea later,we cleaned up the mess,had a laugh,and downed two bottles of wine.We never did visit any friends that day.We love each other to bits,but we still go off the rails occasionally.You and Pete have'nt reached that stage yet (god forbid),but when (if) you ever do,then you'l find out how much you love each other :D

[DJ 'H']

H,I once upset Sally,because I wanted to visit a friend,and she said that we'd already planned to visit someone else.One full dinner service,and a trip to Ikea later,we cleaned up the mess,had a laugh,and downed two bottles of wine.We never did visit any friends that day.We love each other to bits,but we still go off the rails occassionally.You and Pete have'nt reached that stage yet (god forbid),but when (if) you ever do,then you'l find out how much you love each other :D

Fingers crossed :)

[mr.yet]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=17967

[priscilla2006]

Girl it is a natural reaction. When you get used to people treating you like dirt that's what you expect from everyone else too. You got to give him a chance though. Don't let what others have put you through be a burden on what could be the biggest love of your life. Hope you work it out.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes "LOVE" four letters that make and destroys lives every day. Wars have been fought, people killed, and new churches started all over those four letters.

And the only way we can truly love is to open ourself up, to let someone become so close that it could destroy us in emotional terms. It is hard to let someone else get that close.

There is no good answer except trust and hope in the other person.

[nymphetamine]

You know what I like to do in a time like this? Relax. Take a deep breath. Now let it out. That's it. Now scream really loud. Isn't that better?

[augustknight]

Of course you are afraid. You are entering unknown territory and don't know what to expect. But you are also willing to venture forward. If you don't take these first few steps, then you can be safe (and an old maid). There is no guarantee that things will work out and if you really want things to be fair you have to enter this relationship without any baggage. Wipe the slate clean and be honest and expect the same from Pete.

[jeffatl]

Maybe this is a sign that you are not yet ready for another relationship. In my opinion, you should make sure to get rid of all that "baggage" BEFORE getting involved with a new guy. I know I would NEVER want to bring any of that past crap into my new relationship because I wouldn't want to ruin a potentially stable relationship. Take a min and breath, being a little weary is normal, just don't let it run you, or this guy will hit the ground running.

[bizygurl]

I t'ii be okay, I know its difficult, but can you imagine the outcome if you go the other way and shut him out? You could loose the guy that is perfect for you. That is the thing with a relatioship and opening up letting someone see you when your at your most vulnerable. It is a risk but every relatioship you get into you take a risk, whether you were hurt in the past or not.

Give him a chance, sweetie! :o

[DJ 'H']

Cheers guys for being so nice. I am opening up and letting him in that is probably why I am feeling vulnerable. I feel out in the open where anything or anyone can get me whereas before when my barriers were up I was sheilding myself. It's probably just nerves and a bit strange - because I have not let anyone in for a long time.

[bizygurl]

Im glad we could help, don't think too much about it. Just go with the floe and see what happens.:D

[DJ 'H']

Im glad we could help, don't think too much about it. Just go with the floe and see what happens.:D

I will do my best. I had a lovely time with him last night around a friends house. I kept looking at him and telling myself I was being stupid. Oh well... we will just let things happen. I guess at the end of the day - what will be will be :)

[bizygurl]

Exactly!! Good Luck:D :D

[DJ 'H']

Exactly!!!!!! Good Luck:D :D

Cheers bizygurl!!

And thank you to everyone else. You support is appreciated as always.