[ooonikki02ooo]

Okay guys with Valentines day coming up, I am at a loss!! It is mine and my boyfriends first Valentines day together, and I want to do something special for him in the bedroom. The only problem is he is one of those guys that isn't into foreplay doesn't like anything romantic and he wants to get straight to the point and be done... Honestly I have tried everything, from creams and lotions to sexy lingerie and nothing seems to help... Any help at all would be greatly appreciated!! :D

[smoothy]

Ooooooooo... The poor guy has a lot to learn.

Perhaps an adult board game? Sort of a round about way to get him to slow down a bit and enjoy the trip as much as the destination.

[chrissy32290]

Well what does he like? Maybe you can tie it in with that...

[kandyfruitcake]

Okay guys with Valentines day coming up, I am at a loss!!!! It is mine and my boyfriends first Valentines day together, and I wanna do something special for him in the bedroom. The only problem is he is one of those guys that isnt into foreplay doesnt like anything romantic and he wants to get straight to the point and be done............ Honestly I have tried everything, from creams and lotions to sexy lingerie and nothing seems to help.......... Any help at all would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

So, he's a 'wham. Bam, thank you maam'? Guy? Do him a favour. Torment him... make him wait to hit home base... play with yourself in front of him. The frustration will drive him nuts:)

[simoneaugie]

Yeah, you could torment him. But you already know what he likes, you as an available receptacle. Me, I couldn't throw him far enough, hard enough. Handcuffs would be an intermediate step. With him cuffed to the bedpost, you could have all kinds of fun and he'd probably enjoy it too. Be sure to tape his mouth shut so he can do his real complaining later.

[Tony J]

I would say tie him up and go very s l o w. Then you can do all of the things you want to do. I would not tape his mouth shut as you might want him to use it... if you know what I mean. He will enjoy it if he get's his so why not have your fun too. Show him that foreplay can be fun! Oh, and make him cuddle with you afterwards it is valentines day.

[ISneezeFunny]

No foreplay?. why not?

Yeah. Handcuffs/tying. Some women on this forum are crying due to the lack of foreplay in your life.

[kp2171]

I'm really not trying to pi$$ you off, but all he deserves a roll of paper towels and a porno mag.

I know you came here to talk about the val day gift... just be sure you are getting yours (mentally and physically)...
Its OK if he's not into some things, as long as you are OK with it as well... but if you feel like there are aspects of your sexual relationship that are being denied, please talk to him. I think you know there is something missing, you are doing all the work to try to make it right, and he is just not responding.

Remember... he was interested enough to chase you down at one point. Just cause he has you doesn't mean the chase stops.

All that noise said... if you are content and interested in doing this, its your choice... if he just wants to get to the point and you just want to help him, I love it when my partner is waiting for me in the bathroom when I step out of the shower and tells me to come over to her immediately. Its all about making me feel great, and its always a nice surprise.

Sex someplace different is always fun. When the weather is nice, sex outside is awesome. Or in places where you shouldn't be... though you need to be careful doing both outdoors and public places... you can be arrested and there can be even consequences that tie into sex offender laws depending on the situation... so be careful if you go that route.

Uhm... I'm kind of at a loss... I don't think like him and I don't know how to make someone who just wants to get off "happy" other than to just get them off.

B O R I N G!

[Choux]

Hm,

It sounds to me like you are getting raped every time you have sex. I don't know what to say here. This is really sad.

Can't you get a better boyfriend?

[simoneaugie]

There are those of us who have good foreplay all the time. We have been 'raped' in the past a few times though. Yes, you could do far better.

[Greg Quinn]

*** SARCASM***** Yes... Leave your boyfriend because he's not interested in foreplay. Then the word rape starts flying around??? Maybe cross your legs and make him wait it out until he's ready to work for it a little more. When I was younger I was the same way, eager for beaver... Eventually we realize patience = pleasure.

[kp2171]

Yes... Leave your boyfriend because he's not interested in foreplay. Then the word rape starts flying around???

I agree...

Sexual neglect is one thing. Or incompatibility...

But to dilute the word "rape" is another. I'm the husband of a woman who was raped as an adolescent, not to mention her brother who was sodomized. THEY were raped.

Adult, consensual, neglectful sex without agreeable foreplay described as "rape" is an unfortunate use of the word.

Neglect is much more appropriate. Ignorance, arrogance, selfishness... all OK.

But "rape"... I think its much, much too harsh, and its use here diminishes the meaning. It is so unfortunate.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

Frankly, I'm appalled with some of the previous answers... just because this poor guy doesn't perform foreplay;
A) He deserves to be dumped!
B) He's a rapist!

This couple hasn't even been together a year and I'm sure suggestions like that won't help them much! He could be the kindest, most considerate fella on Earth who has a slight flaw in the bedroom department!

Firstly I'd suggest talking to your man about why he doesn't enjoy foreplay. Perhaps he's had a bad experience in the past, maybe previous partners haven't wanted foreplay and he's stuck in a rut, perhaps he's just inexperienced in this area and is embaressed he might mess up! If I wasn't used to any high level of intimacy and my new girlfriend came out dressed up to the 9's with lotions I think I'd be pretty scared!

Do you enjoy the sex that you're getting? If not, how would you change it?

Go easy on him, telling a man he isn't that great in the sack isn't an easy thing to hear!

You should find out what the both of you like and work on it together, after all a relationship is a two-way street! I'm sure in the long-term you'll find things that turn you both on and make sex mutually mind-blowing!

Believe me, you could do a lot worse!

[Synnen]

Lack of foreplay is NOT rape.

From Dictionary.com:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
rape1 /reɪp/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[reyp] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, raped, rap·ing.
–noun 1. the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3. statutory rape.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5. Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
–verb (used with object) 6. to force to have sexual intercourse.
7. to plunder (a place); despoil.
8. to seize, take, or carry off by force.

In no way, shape, or form does it mention lack of foreplay in that definition.

As long as the sex is consensual and she does not mind the form it takes, she is NOT being raped.

It may not be ideal sex from OUR point of view, but it isn't OUR relationship. It's the original poster's relationship. It's up to her and her significant other to define it.

NOW: That being said--she isn't asking for opinions on her relationship. She's asking for ideas on how to spice up Valentine's Day.

The next time responses deviate from that, I will delete ALL opinions about her relationship, and leave ONLY ideas about how to spice up Valentine's Day. Please stick to the question at hand and don't judge someone else's bedroom unless you want to put YOURS up for judgement---with as many opinions as there are out there, you're likely to be kinky or prudish, or boring by SOMEONE'S standards.

[ISneezeFunny]

So... let's drop the rape thing.

As far as him "not being great in the sack"... there's "not great" and there's "not trying"

It's one thing if he's really trying and he just sucks at it. Dude just kind of seems lazy.

To the OP: you try talking to him about this?

[Synnen]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...tml#post858901

Please see the above post if you want to offer her advice on her relationship---THAT is the question where she's asking about it.

[ooonikki02ooo]

OK so I wasn't saying that the sex isn't good, actually its great! But I would like to spice it up for valentines day you know, foreplay does not define great sex lol I just thought that with valentines day coming up I could change things up a little with out being too romantic or girly understand? As far as the whole rape thing, I am still at a loss as to how you would even come to that conclusion... But either way thanks for the adviceguys

[pasiria]

I had a boyfriend like that. He wanted it fast in and out. To make matters worst he lasted about 5 minutes. He was 34 when we started a relationship, but he use to be fine, he would last about 15b minutes and could do it twice... after breaking up to start a relationship with my ex-boyfriend, (first love) I saw him again after 5 years. I was single by then and we kept having the same problems, quick sex, no foreplay, because he didn't like it. I seriously never thought about giving him anything special, but an ordinary chocolate candy box. Why should I? I agree with kp2171... you know I finally broke it off and now I have a satisfying love life... Your boyfriend may very well possess wonderful qualities and you might be in love, but one year is enough, do you want to live frustrated all your life. This are questions I asked myself. Sex is very important in a relationship and if you are not compatible, you should think deeply about your relationship. I'd give him chocolates for valentines.

[Greg Quinn]

ok so i wasnt sayin that the sex isnt good, actually its great! But I would like to spice it up for valentines day you know, foreplay does not define great sex lol i just thought that with valentines day coming up i could change things up a little with out being too romantic or girly understand? As far as the whole rape thing, I am still at a loss as to how you would even come to that conclusion........ But either way thanks for the adviceguys

__________________________________________________ _________________________---

Well, if that's the case then take my advice (above) and only implement it on Valentines day. LOL

[Xrayman]

No comment on this one from me, I feel I would not help.