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foxriverman · Jan 30, 2008, 01:39 AM

Well we have been married since 2004. We started dating in 2004 and at the time my wife broke up with a ex-boyfriend. We have been very happy since then. We now have 3 children in three years. We always said that we were soulmates. Everything was good until our second pregnancy. She was diagnosed with post partum depression and has been acting differently. She first started to tell me that she loved me and also loved her ex. I was really disturbed by this statement. We promised each other to be honest with each other but I must admit it was unexpected. She would cry through the night, call him in the middle of the night because she felt that he was mad at her for breaking up with him. From that time on it has been a roller-coaster ride and I don't like it. I tried to be the understanding husband but I can only take so much. Oh yeah! I am already divorced once and my first wife cheated on me. I feel like we are losing our connection, she told me many times that she lost her sexual drive. She even told me that she would be OK for me to have a girlfriend but she insists that she wants to keep our family together. She told me that so many times that I am starting to believe it. Sure enough I am starting to talk to other women and feel guilty because I want to be in one happy relationship and keep our family intact. She also told me that she loved me but more like a roommate but later retracted that statement. But it is still in my head. She blames it on her hormones. What should I do. She does talk to her ex boyfriend once in a while. I think that I have been very understanding and patient but feel like I am ready to disconnect. I loved my children and would do anything for them. What should I do?

slash1 · Jan 30, 2008, 02:06 AM

First understand that you are married and that is for life and you should not tolerate her talking to ex's. Get her to doctor and on meds or a shrink to deal with the post pardom. Also realize even if you are talking to other women that is not OK. Its like standing under the apple tree and thinking one will never hit you in the head. Also realize that if she is having such conversations with other men she is already emotionally cheating on you the physical step is next

simoneaugie · Jan 30, 2008, 02:48 AM

She needs to be evaluated for depression. Gestating and caring for three babies can really drag a person down, physically and emotionally. Does she work outside the home?

Marriage is forever (actually nothing and everything are forever), she's cheating emotionally, you shouldn't talk to other women... I disagree on all points.

If you want to stay married, it's going to take some work. She needs to have her depression effectively treated. The two of you need some counselling to get, what's now out in the open, more workable, solvable.

She is reaching out to her ex because she is at the end of her rope. She needs your help and support. What she doesn't need is for you to cop an attitude that she is cheating on you emotionally. You know that already though, and I applaud what you have done so far.

You really shouldn't have conversations with anyone of the opposite sex except your wife. Anything might happen! Pullleeeze. Humans are social, talking to all kinds of people is natural. Having good conversations and friendships is a healthy part of life.

mini14_82 · Jan 30, 2008, 03:38 AM

Hi

It too early to start family with 3 children in three year.. I is frustrated with her current life style... to care 3 children then other family member then husband additional other housework... after marriage she was happy but when responsibility incresed day by day..
She actually fed-up.. during this period may be you not able to understand her proble and desires... hence may be she compared her present life and previous life with ex boyfriend which was more presant and joyful.. I believe she is not mentally stable..
She need you and your support.. this is a critical time for you.. you have a family wife children..

What you have to do first-
1. Give her satisfaction emontionaly and physically..
2. Support her ,her her,appreciate her for her evry efforts,love her,loyal her
3. enjoy the holiday at outstation and give her a break..
4. Try to share her some work and help her..
5. give her time its more important ,talk with her and share your feeling with her explain her that when ever her intract with ex boyfriend.. you will be hurted.. you can't live with her.. express how much you love her.. that it , it will be work..

Thanks