[summerw1nd]

I met a guy online 5 months ago and we've been seeing each other on a regular basis ever since (on average, 2-3 dates in a month). At the beginning, after the 4th date, he told me jokingly that it's too bad we're both busy, he wished we have more time to spend with each other. At that time I wasn't sure of how I feel, so I was content to take things slow. Now after 5 months, things haven't progressed much. He still calls every 2 or 3 days, but the conversation usually revolves around what happened during the day and rarely about personal disclosure (such as past relationships, what we look for in a relationship, life goals, or feelings, etc). I don't feel that he genuinely wants to know me. Lately, the calls are getting shorter and usually because he wants to go out and do something with me (and it's last minute). I begin to wonder if he would still call if there's no reason to plan dates with me. We're not in an exclusive relationship, he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet, and our dates are usually comprises of dinner, a movie, and ends with good night kiss on the cheek or the lips. I've met most of his friends, and he includes me in most of their gatherings. All his friends thought we're in a relationship and he's affectionate with me in front of them. Is he using me as a date because he doesn't want to be the only single guy in the group? Or is he lonely because he has no one to do things with? Please help! :confused:

[ASmurfyOriginal]

Well, from the sounds of it.. he does like you.. but he's not sure if he's ready for a relationship yet. Give him time.. See how it works.

[summerw1nd]

Thanks for the advice! Yea I think you're rite. But don't you think 5 months is a little long to decide whether you want a relationship with someone?

[justcurious55]

I think I missed the problem... if he calls you to make plans with you then why would it need to be a long conversation if he's going to be hanging out with you soon?
Do you try making the conversation about the things you want to talk about, like goals and feelings and he just doesn't respond? If you haven't tried you can't blame it all on him. If you have tried, I guess he at least gets a point for calling, if nothing else. Haha

[summerw1nd]

Hahah sorry I wasn't being clear about my question.
I feel like he doesn't seem to be interested in my life, because lately when he calls, it's because he wants to hang out with me, not just calling for the sake of having a conversation. When we hang out, we often hang out with other people, which makes it hard to have one-on-one conversation and really have that connection. When we hang out alone, we don't spend much time talking about personal stuff, I have tried asking him questions in the past, but I felt he wasn't comfortable so I stopped asking. I gave him space, and I thought to myself, "if he wants to tell me certain things, then he will". Not sure if this is a good rule to live by. I guess I wanted to know whether he really does care about me, not just calling me for dates.

[justcurious55]

Hmm... yeah. It does sound like you've been putting in the effort. I understand your rule, sometimes people can perceive us as pushy or nosey if we ask too many questions even if its just because we want to know them. Maybe you should just flat out ask him where he sees your guys's relationship going? A fling or something more?