[EnchantedGR]

OK! Where do I start well, ten years ago I dated a man who is in the service. We dated for two 1/2 years and then he let me go because I needed to experience life in the big world through my own eye. We are 7 years apart in age. He said that when the universe thought I have learned much about the world that the universe would put us in the same path again. Ten years past I have overcome allot of obstacles and I have built my career and live a good life, but throughout the ten years I could not forget about this man! He is an extremely great human being, compassionate, intelligent, strong and full of integrity but at times very conflicted with his emotions. We finally cross path again last November and we have been hanging out since, dinner, movies, party event, sex and much more. The “l” word even came into play in his part. Lately I’m starting to feel that he only wants me when it is suitable for him. Yesterday he invited me over to hang with him and some friends. It turned out that one of his friends was a girl he was or is hot and heavy for. Totally treated me like a bud, sat next to her, he even put his hand on her tigh, like leaning! And then he took some pillows and put it by her legs, so he can lay there and watch TV. I felt like a complete dush bag. My stomach was trembling and in my head I was screaming. I kept my cool but I couldn’t help it... I found myself on the phone talking to friends and working on my spare time to distract myself from his behavior. At some point I went outside to smoke a cigg and a friend of ours who is a Buddhist walks out into the garden where the casibo rose bush is and say’s “ this is where you and him will get married someday”. My heart melted,not even it broke into pieces, because I truly love this man and to be going through this emotional roller coaster with him seem to hard for me to believe that we will marry some day. It’s funny how a couple of our friends have made mention that we would be great together and I think that as well ,but he is just to consume by his perception of a relationship and love. Stating that I’m not ready for a relationship. Which in fact is not true? I have my career I have all my duck lined up in a row, all I want is someone I can share the rest of my life with. I try to go on dates and it has become a joke, when he finds out he gets a bit jealous and he questions me on them. & then he gets affectionate like lovers do! The other night he had a party and he invited some girl he met at a party ywo weeks ago. He parade her in front of me like she was the new girl in town ,knowing that the night before him and I made love on the same sofa they were coudleling.I kepth my cool and left the party.I tried talking to him but he is avoiding me at all cost? Why?At this point I can no longer sit here a wait for him to make up his mind he claims to have strong feelings for me but he refuses to get into a relationship with me because I have certain flaws he cannot deal with. I'm not going to allow him to have his cake and eat it too.At this point I will continue to go on dates and keep an open heart to whomever is whiling to put it back together and love me the way I have truly loved this man. What do you think?:confused: :confused:

[talaniman]

Your wasting your time, if you expect him to change.

[Bluerose]

This guy sounds like a self appointed guru, one who wants all his women growling at his feet. Oh! Please don't be one of those women. If you get involved with this man your career and everything else will get left behind. Stay clear - promise me.

[oneguyinohio]

I have certain flaws he cannot deal with. i'm not going to allow him to have his cake and eat it too.

I think the flaw he sees in your character is the part about not allowing all the cake he wants...

He's not wanting the same things as you. Sex for him is not something he wants to be in a committed relationship to enjoy. He doesn't seem to like to have that expectation. If I were you, I'd give him something else NOT to expect... you. Your emotions will be better served with a clean platter... meaning another man. You don't have to wait around for this guy to change. He seems to be telling you he has no desire to do so.

[bushg]

He is an extremely great human being, compassionate, intelligent, strong and full of integrity but at times very conflicted with his emotions


If he makes love to you and gives you the "l" word and then parades other girls in front of you he is an "abusive pig" not the above.
He is also telling you there are things about you he dislikes but yet he can toss them aside when it is right for him.
Sweety open your eyes and pull off the blindfold because this man is a self serving JERK and you deserve better. I would tell him in no uncertain terms to kiss my not good enough for him A$$.

[thegirlishurting]

Im kind of curious what your "certain flaws he can't deal with". If the answer is such a big deal to him, why'd he kept sleeping with you?

I know you love him and willing to do ANYTHING for him but does he feel the same way? I don't think so. You don't treat people you love like a furniture---use it since it's there.

Talk to him and ask him where you stand but don't get your hopes up. Do this when you two are alone---and make sure he's as willing as you are to go exclusive. Good luck.