[busguy711]

My 15 year old son wants a spyder jacket which is not cheap.his mom gets $1,200 a month child surport from me.She wants me to give extra money so he can get this jacket.With the money I already give her for the kids,I am not left with much.Last night when I went to drop off the children back to their mom,my ex and my son both started with the why and how come.My son knows how little money I have but he knows I do my best when he is with me.I then told my son to Waite till I got paid in two week and I would see if I can give him money then.Well,his mom started saying , in front of my son,''what do you do for your children and you always say no.This coming from a woman who says I don't give enough.A woman who drives a new SUV and has a house keeper twice a week.Then she tells my son,"I told you he would say no.I feel Im in a no win situation because his mom gives him everything and I can't afford to do this so his mom tells him that I don't care about him.I love my children with all my heart and I wish I can do more.Please help.

[justcurious55]

That's great that you're supporting your children and you should continue to pay the support. But there's more to love than money. Sometime when the mother is not around sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your son remind him that you love him and if you could you would give him the world but you just can't. He's old enough that he needs to start understanding things and being mature about things.
On another note, he's old enough that he could start earning money on his own. Maybe not a regular job, but he could walk dogs, mow lawns, stuff like that. Maybe try matching whatever he earns. He might appreciate it more.

[talaniman]

Tough situation, but don't be bullied by your ex. Talk to your son, and tell him the truth, you can't afford it. If you have already promised him, then you must follow through.

[Synnen]

If it's not cheap, and he's 16--why can't he get a job and save up for it?

My parents would have made ME do it that way! He'll value it more, and take better care of it, if he has to buy it himself.

As a compromise, you and his mother TOGETHER might pay for half if he saves the other half.

[peggyhill]

It sounds like your wife is using the whole thing as a way to make you look bad. She would rather upset her kids and manipulate the situation, than be an adult.

I think there is nothing in the world wrong with asking the kid to wait until you get paid. At 165 I think he should maybe be thinking about getting a part time job to pay for the things he wants. I mean, unless he has lots of school activities and all. It might be something to suggest to him. I worked at that age, and it really helped me mature. I appreciated the value of a dollar so much more when I had to earn it myself.

Asking him to wait 2 weeks is more than reasonable. Just keep telling him that you love him. Explain that you have X amount of dollars every time you get a check. Out of that money you have to pay child support, gas, bills, personal expenses, groceries, etc. Explain that you have a budget and that, as much as you would love to give him everything, sometimes you have to wait until you have more money.

I hope his mom stops acting like this. I think it's sad when someone tries to turn the kids against an ex who is being a good parent.

[R0cKin_t33N]

Make your son earn it... my parents are in a divorce and my father doesn't even pay the full child support... I love him so much but the fact that he spends, pays 1/2 of the childsupport, and doesn't call or see me is really usless. My mother tries her best to not only be a mother but a father too ,she also tries her hardest give me what I want but at the terms of me earning it,
I learned that if I don't need something really badly then why get it... a new jacket will come in style months later and trust me your son will not want the spyder jacket anymore.
GuD LucK ; )

[bumfluff123]

Hey my parents split a year ago (I'm 19 now) I tried the whole play them off each other too and I realised my mum was in mega debt trying to do every thing for me and my 16yr old brother. Now we both have jobs I work full time as I have finished college I pay my mum £400 a month rent by choice and I do my own washing etc. my brother works part time. Any thing fancy or a lot of money we get our self. Its always been that way. We don't have much to do with our dad as he lives far away with his new girlfriend and her son he has every thing and my mum has to work her off for us. It seems to me that your ex has a grudge and is using your son against you. Please take my advice DO NOT spoil him rotten. Make him do things for you to earn it. How you raise your child will determine what sort of person they will grow to be. A good idea would be too start a savings account for your children doesn't have to be much just a few pounds now and then and over time it will add up that way when your children are older and want something important (not a jacket) you will be able to show them you did care and I'm sure they would be so grateful. Also I would not mention this to them or your ex as it is money you have saved direct from you. For my 18 I got £2000 pounds my mum had saved since I was born. Her and my dad had just split and she was living in a bed and breakfast. With the money I got I took her and my brother to disney land ( I know grow up lol) and she couldn't of been happier. If you give your child every thing they want they will not respect you. It's the work you put into your relationship that makes a parent a friend. Hope this helped if you have any other problems just ask I'm sure I've dealt with it lol. X

[abigailpauline]

I am a daughter of divorce and I've been in this situation before. What I wanted my parents to do was just tell me they couldn't afford it and try to give me ideas to save up for what I wanted. So I would do this. But if nothing works, I agree with someone ^above, it will probably be out of style in a few days. Good Luck!