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jwaller73 · Jan 23, 2008, 09:12 AM

I have 3 children with my ex, all under the age of 13. She recently sent me a letter stating she was moving to Germany with her new husband, who is in the military. The letter stated that if I did not sign the Consent form, she would take me to court to have my child support raised. I sent her a letter stating that I would sign the Consent if she allowed me to claim my youngest child on my taxes until she was 18 years old, or until they moved back to Texas in order to afford airfare. I also asked that airfare be split 50/50 because she stated she would be able to fly the kids to the states via the military, thus costing her next to nothing. I also requested a copy of her husbands military orders. She did not agree to this, and my children have stated that she is going to take me to court. I cannot afford airfare for three children to fly them to Germany. I pay 30% of my income for child support. I'm barely make enough to pay my bills. I'm worried that she will take the kids to Germany even if I don't sign the consent. Wouldn't that be considered kidnapping? I really can't afford an attorney either. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really need some advise.

George_1950 · Jan 23, 2008, 09:18 AM

At this point, you can't afford not to have an attorney. As far as I am aware, if she has custody of the children (and that is typical), she can take them to Mars. You are confusing issues, in my opinion, with these other negotiations. At the end of the day, you may be asking her to modify in some fashion your custody order, which is not a good thing.

jwaller73 · Jan 23, 2008, 09:22 AM

Actually, our divorce papers state she cannot move outside of the adjoining counties without my approval. However, she just married someone in the military and I'm wondering if that fact will override our court orders.

cdad · Jan 23, 2008, 12:26 PM

In most cases that Im aware of a parent can't just go where the like with a child if there is a shared custody arrangement no matter what the time levels are. Also she can't take them out of the country without having both parents permission and both have to sign off unless there is some mitigating circumstances like one parent missing for a long time. On my papers mine wasn't allowed to leave the county without informing me and wasn't allowed to leave the state with them without my written consent except for emergencies like life threatening or death in the family.
I guess it depends on what is said in the papers and also where you live.

jwaller73 · Jan 23, 2008, 01:02 PM

I have joint custody and I live in Texas. Anytime my kids leave the country, I have to sign a Consent form and have it notarized. I have done this in the past to allow them to go on a cruise. However, I refused to sign the one she sent me for them to move to Germany. I guess my next step is to wait for her to take me to court and if the court does allow her to move, as for the court to make her pay all, or most, of the traveling expenses.

ScottGem · Jan 23, 2008, 01:08 PM

If you have court ordered visitation and her move would affect your ability to continue the visitation, then she cannot move without court approval. Especially since this is written into the custody arrangement. If she were to move, she would be in contempt of court and the court can order her back. It would be tantamount to kidnapping and the military would not stand for it.

So you are in the driver's seat here. You don't have to agree to anything. She has to agree to your terms or you can squash the move.

I would be proactive and inform the court of her request and your denial of it.

cdad · Jan 23, 2008, 04:02 PM

I agree with Scott. Be proactive. Also save everything and write dates you received it on envelopes etc. See out a lawyer now before its too late.

jwaller73 · Jan 24, 2008, 08:14 AM

That's some good advice guys and I'm definitely going to be proactive.

George_1950 · Jan 24, 2008, 08:27 AM

jwaller73 writes: "...I guess my next step is to wait for her to take me to court...." Actually, she may not take you to court; she may just go to Germany. Do you think she might decide to avoid Texas in the future?

jwaller73 · Jan 24, 2008, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by George_1950

jwaller73 writes: "...I guess my next step is to wait for her to take me to court...." Actually, she may not take you to court; she may just go to Germany. Do you think she might decide to avoid Texas in the future?

Actually, that is something my fiancée and I have been discussing recently. I think this is a very good possibility. I'm wondering if the court would look at it as anything other than contempt of court and just slap her on the wrist. Texas divorce courts seem to favor the mother quite a bit. I do wonder if I could charge her with kidnapping?

ScottGem · Jan 24, 2008, 08:54 AM

That's why I say you need to be proactive. You need to get the court to issue a restraining order against her moving or at least to inform her that she will be in contempt of court if she does. This notice can then be send to her new husband's commanding officer.

George_1950 · Jan 24, 2008, 08:56 AM

If you were to do that, you might find yourself as a guest on one of those cable TV shows.