[lifeguardred]

I am seeing a man who has 4 kids from a previous marriage. There is a few years age difference. I have never dated or have been seeing someone with children before. Is it normal to feel apprehensive about this kind of relationship? I don't want to screw this up per say, but I'm having a difficult time with learning how to come second in a relationship... if you catch what I mean. There is definite chemistry between us, and although we both have really crazy sched. We still manage to find time to get together. I need some suggestions and advice. Thanks!

[justcurious55]

I think its normal for you to be a little apprehensive. I think its only fair for all concerned (including you) for yoou to decide though whether you can accept that his children come first. If you can't it wasn't meant to be. If you can, great. It's great that this guy puts his children first, that's exactly what any parent should do, before any date. If you can accept that without being resentful I say keep going in the relationship as long as you both are happy.

[lifeguardred]

Thanks for the reinforcement on it being okay to be apprehensive. I am very okay with the fact that he places his children first. In fact I find it refreshing and noble. Thanks :)

[450donn]

Only real concern I might voice is, if this relationship goes farther, say marriage, how much are you then willing to sacrifice? How about money? How much child support is he paying to his X for those 4 children? How much does he have left over every month to support a second family? IF this is just a few casual dates that's fine, but if this turns serious, you have to consider how second fiddle you and your family will be.