[J_9]

An Application For Permission To Date My Daughter...

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: __________________________________________________ ___________
__________________________________________________ ___________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
__________________________________________________ __________________

__________________________________________________ __________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
Pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend __________________________________________________ _

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

Father? _____________

Mother? _____________

Pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
Are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

__________________________________________________ ____________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________ ____________

C: A woman's place is in the:

__________________________________________________ ____________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED HOT POKERS.


__________________________________________________ _______
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

[N0help4u]

My moms wasn't so strict hers was simply N0!

Shoot first ask N0 ?'s

I think that form needs a lie detector test to go with it. Then again some moms are great lie detectors!:D

[flossie]

What?? No medical questions?? OR... How often do you brush? How often do you floss? Do you see your dentist regularly??
Great application J_9! I love it! :p

[J_9]

Oops, sorry Flossie, I guess we could work those in though couldn't we?

[sc477772]

She can say yes to date her daughter now and she can make her own mind up weather to have sex with her boyfriend now or when she is age 17 years old

[adam_89]

She can say yes to date her daughter now and she can make her own mind up weather to have sex with her boyfriend now or when she is age 17 years old

What does weather have to do with it?

[KC13]

Cool! No inquiry into criminal record! She's going to have a lot of pen pals! :D

[jrsg]

Ha, if I ever got something like this from a future girlfriends father, I would RUN!

This is worse then the ol' "what are your intentions with my daughter" talk.

Nice post. I just saw the date stamp on it :)

[CaptainRich]

Short answers section, Item B: ANY of mine! :eek:

[frangipanis]

That was great lol! You can also borrow my mum: she went into my two teenage neice's room where my daughter was and there were some boys over. My mum went into the room waving a samurai sword and said, 'if any of you boys touch one of my girls, I'll cut your ba**s off!' :p

[mudweiser]

I'm printing this for future use.

Tehee!

MRS.S

[jmjoseph]

This is great! Thank GOD I only have boys!

[Catsmine]

My daughter is sixteen. Does the fine print warn him about becoming Doberman food?

[shazamataz]

My daughter is sixteen. Does the fine print warn him about becoming Doberman food?

Hahaha just build a giant meat grinder in your backyard that says "Dobie Kibble"

[Catsmine]

Well, the welcome mat does say
Ring bell and run, the dog needs the exercise.

[rxnarunner]

I just printed that out... I have three daughters this will come in handy. I have a son too, I'm going to let him read this and start practicing the proper answers now (hes 8) lol

[killer777]

How old is she again and let her date who ever she wants I'm not putting my socol secarity on there robbers,u also need to show a pic of her not in the perverted way

[shazamataz]

how old is she again and let her date who ever she wants im not putting my socol secarity on there robbers,u also need to show a pic of her not in the perverted way

From the sounds of you, you wouldn't be dating my daughter.

[KC13]

Regarding your signatures: you never said you were at work, and I never claimed to be a professional.:D

[this8384]

how old is she again and let her date who ever she wants im not putting my socol secarity on there robbers,u also need to show a pic of her not in the perverted way

... said the 12-year-old