[AngelinaBella]

I've been with my boyfriend since Jan 07. It was a whirlwind courtship. We were both very different in terms of the lifestyle we lead, things we do and friends we had. But I love him thoroughly and enjoy showing and letting him experience how or what I do/lead by bringing him to my fave hangouts, gigs etc and he would happily come along. I would say that this is a guy that I really put much effort, time, money and love into. Within weeks into the relationship I was buying him designer togs, taking him to Nobu, Gordon Ramsay, sending him to spa for massages and more buying and money flowing out. Not that I'm complaining, he is.

All this while when he says he doesn't and never trusts me. He says he never trusts me from day one. His reason being I'm always out with my friends(guys and girls!) clubbing and partying the night away. So does he! But I never see that as a big issue for I really want this a lot.We almost went our separate ways a couple of times then but each time we get back together. With me doing the pleading and crying and at times he pleads himself.

A few months into the relationship, I got pregnant. We talked about it and the decision was for me to abort it. He says he couldn't support us and how he's not going to support me if I were to have it. He also believes very strongly that it wasn't his. Kept saying that the baby's some other guys, even though he has no prove or anything at all!

With all the arguing, talking(and no actions) and then there was he pressing for me to go for my abortion. I decided to fly back home to Singapore to sort things out myself and also to keep my distance away from him for a while. When I told him I was flying out of England, he just started crying and crying. The thought of him crying never cross my mind, he just doesn't seems to care about me then let alone cry.

Even after all we have been tru, I've always wanted this to work. Friends kept advising me to dump him but I just can't find myself doing that to him. I was willing to sacrifice in some ways for him or for us to be together. Before I left, we both agreed that we'll still be together just that now we're 8 time zones away from one another. It all went well in the first 2 months. We were constantly on the phone, texting, calling, emailing, letters, gifts... I tried what I could by making us feel like we're still there, next to one another... even order him food deliveries online to be sent to his place in England.

But with new year I guess, comes the New Year resolution. He stops calling and texting and when I called him he would be emotionally detached and all quiet. Unlike previously where he's all chatty, talking about what he has been doing, his friends, work etc. But now he just gone all quiet and don't even bother to text me or text me back at times. His reasons being he couldn't afford to keep up calling and texting me, its expensive. He was going to come over here for a visit or at least that's what he says. But recently after having know about his bonus, he says he couldn't afford to come what with the meagre bonus that he got and told me to stop calling him since he can't afford to come anymore. That there was no point for us to go on for he couldn't afford to come and that this wouldn't work.

Is there any hopes in this if I were to go back there? Or is he telling me the truth? I'm trying my best to move on now unlike previously where I would plead, I'm tired of that now but is there hope in this? He kept telling me he loves me then and how he missed me and now he's just giving this all up just like that...

[Bluerose]

Back off you have spent enough of everything on this guy. What would it take for you to realise that there is not a relationship there. He doesn't want to be with you. Go find some nice guy who will truly appreciate your generosity.

[talaniman]

I think the distance is to great and neither of you knows the other well enough to make this work, sorry, but moving on is best right now.

[thegirlishurting]

He can't afford you, what more when one day you two have to live together with kids and mortgages and all that?

It seems that he's type who doesn't try his best to make things work. You also seem to be the stronger one in the relationship. Hes the weaker one. Although your love match is balanced, I don't see why you have to risk your life over a man who quits all the time.

But then, love conquers all. So ask yourself, does he make you happy? If yes, go to England and be with him. If you're having second thoughts, then don't.

[TrueFaith]

You can't buy love.
Stop spending on him.

And tell him if you don't trust me fine. And leave him alone. Then if he really does care for you he will come back.

But make sure you don't wanan hear anymore of this not trusting crap

He is insecure you shouldn't be draged down with him.

[AngelinaBella]

Thanks for the advice. I've stop the spending! And I've also kind of moved on ever since, one step at a time. One thing I did realized was after I got back and away from him, I was back to my confident, care-free self again! :)