[AustProd6]

OK, The Antichrist Ex Broke up with me 6 months ago. Left me and gutted the house and took my 3 girls ino hiding. Didn't matter, I went off the face of the earth so to speak.

OK, My youngest (13 yo) Daughter texts me frantically Boxing Day begging for her to live with me. (Fool Ex Bought her a Mobile for Xmas).

After talking to Daughter, said I would talk to her Mother. Well I got "It will never F#^king happen, over her dead body etc, etc". You know the conversation.

Bottom line within 24 hours she changes her mind. Says we should get together to communicate. I say NO. I didn't even want to see her.

24 hours after, I suggest to pick daughter up, she says no, Ex will deliver her to the town I am at (2 hours away) and in hiding. I say OK

When Ex gets there I basically ignor her. Don't even look at her. Short answers, in a hurry so to speak but don't even really look at her except for perifieral vision. She comments on my nice shirt, I don't even respond. I certainly do not comment on her new car or how good she may look. I do notice, she has dressed to the nines (much effort) and looking seductive, Lost a lot of weight etc. But I don't comment.

She asks if I want to spend some time with my other 2 girls (remember I haven't seen any of them for 6 months) so I say yes, we went to park as she went off elsewhere to do what ever she wanted to do.

My daughter gives me a small picture of herself which I place beside My NEWBY's picture in my Wallet. This raises some questions which I answer honestly.

After about 45minutes Youngest is itching to go so she says goodbye and we leave. I wait in car.

Now obviously, on the way back my other 2 children fill in ex on my Newby (who is 8 years younger and stunning). She visits my Moher who says that Newby is a Lovely Person and is good for me.

The next day, My Ex calls fuming at the mouth. I mean vicious using threats to distory me if my Youngest doesn't get picked up etc etc When she threatens me with my job, Relationship (by Name) and everything else I hang up. She begs for me to answer the phone. I don't.

The next day, I decide enough is enough after 18 years this is her normal behaviour in our relationship, I slap a Domestic Violence Order against her to no make contact with me.

To rub Salt into her wound, I went from $1655 to $1095 Child Support per month.

My Question is his:
She has left me 14 times in the 18 years, was she trying to reconcile before she found out about newby?
What stabbed her the most, The NEwby or the fact I didn't pay any attention too her?
You may think this is abit callious but this ex is an emotional abuser and blackmailer. I spent $2000 on therepy this time to move on before newby. I am emotionally drained. Everyone who lknows her thinks she isn't finished yet. By a long shot. I just want to see the back of her.

[tickle]

Wow, I don't blame you for going into hiding, but if you were in hiding why did you let her visit you ? I don't get that part, but anyway, aust, I think the newby would have done it, especially if she was a younger then your ex and very good looking, only have your word for that. And, yes, if she was dressed to the nines and you noticed it, probably meant that she was inkling around getting together again. But then again, you don't want that do you ?

I am reading between the lines here and I do have to say I detect a hint of affection for the ex still, or you wouldn't be writing about it, it would already be gone and done with.

I suggest you go further into hiding and this time stay hidden, and maybe forget where she lives would be a good idea too.

I won't mention the kids, that's another problem.

Good luck, aust.

tickle

[AustProd6]

Yes Tickle, still have feelings (I think it's called co-dependant). I was severely abused mentally over the years. Always tried to be the strong male, but when you up against a control freak to a major level it takes it toll.
I met her on the outskirts of town. She still doesn't know where I live. I have bought about 5 households worth of furniture and refuse to buy more than once again.
As for why I let her visit? If she ever found a pathetic reason to challenge my fitness to parent my daughter, the first question a court would ask, is "why did you deliver her to hom if you had doubts????" Strategy move.
Bottom line is I have moved on, with a better person. I miss the challenges of my ex but not the pain and anguish of the punishment.
As for the kids, they are old enough to know what is rubbish and what is real. My youngest certainly did.
Am I bitter. Yes
Do I stll care? More pity her.

[Bluerose]

AustProd6,

My advice would be to go and get on with your life. Like you say the kids are old enough to know what's what. In a couple or three years they will make up their own minds about visiting you. Try to keep in touch with them though. Small gifts and card at every opportunity will help keep you connected to them until then.