[hurt and confused]

After weeks of confussion and hurt thinking that my husband was having an affair I find out that it's a woman at work chasing him. She tries to talk to him all the time, changed her shift to see him at work and constantly tries to get his #. She even asks other emlpoyees about him. He tells her that he is married and is not interested but she keeps on. Other workers are onto her game and some do not think it to be funny (thats how I found out). I also found out that he is gambeling (cards) which is a past addiction. I've been told by co-workers that my husband is not interested in her at all.

I'm scared to death that this could change if I don't do something but I don't know what to do. As much as I have tried my husband has not confessed any of this to me yet. Although I keep asking.

Please help with any advise as to how to handel this. Should I be concerned or am I over reacting?

[Synnen]

Wow... couple of issues here.

1. Your husband isn't being honest with you. That's a HUGE problem. Confront him. Tell him what you know. Insist on counseling, and on the gambling stopping NOW.

2. The woman has no respect for you, and if your husband is lying to you, I can see why. Your husband isn't respecting you either! The only thing you can do is either ignore her, or laugh at her. Any other reaction is going to give her hope that she has a chance, because if you're in a panic, OBVIOUSLY she's doing something right, right?

Your bigger problem is your husband, and communication in your marriage.

This other woman is small potatoes next to that.

[Synnen]

Well, that's quite a disagree without a post of your own.

What good is confronting the woman going to do? Or involving her husband's boss?

She'd be stepping into a situation that would only cause her husband embarrassment at work.

Look--if the hubby is lying, there needs to be a confrontation. I think that lying about spending the household money on gambling is actually a bigger problem than some chick throwing herself at the OP's husband, especially since it's been stated that the husband has told her he's not interested.

[ayashe]

You can't stop her, but you can control you. If you feel your husband is being dishonest, find out the truth, and nip it in the bud fast. You deserve the truth, respect and loyalty. Your husband can also go to his boss at work, and claim sexual harassment, if it really bothers him.

[oneguyinohio]

Just me, but I would be concerned that her behavior is giving your hubby some leverage... so that he can gamble... and you'll have to fear the other woman that is after him if you get mad about the gambling situation.

To me, that seems like something a gambler would like... taking risks (with your relationship) while having a little ace (woman) card to play in his side pocket...