[CarolinaChick]

Ok I have posted on here one time about how I am unhappy with my marriage... well now I am scared. I am 21, my husband 23. We have one 19 month old little boy. We are getting further and further apart everyday. I am actually miserable. Before my son was born things were great but then things changed drastically. Well to make a long story short I will skip to now. He has a terrible anger problem. I have tried to get him to go to counseling but that hasn't worked. He really scares me. The first thing he did to start this is one day we were fine, sitting on the couch watching TV. He got mad at our son and popped him on the leg. Well he did it a little too hard. I just looked at him and said "You didn't have to do it that hard." He looked back at me and then said "Don't look at me like that or I will punch you in your f-in face." I was shocked that he was say something like that to me. I could just see the hate in his eyes and really believed it. Well he said again that night. Then a few days later I had just gotten out of the shower, I went to the kitchen and then he followed me into our bedroom. Well he was behind me and I had earphones on and he wouldn't leave me alone. He just kept groping me over and over after I kept asking him to stop. Finally I got mad and said STOP IT NOW! Well he yanked my earphones out (breaking them) and told me that I would not talk to him that way. Then this morning I had just gotten out of the shower again and we started arguing as usual because I woke him up. Keep in mind he doesn't help me with our child. My child was being loud not me. He never gets up with him in the mornings. Anyway I had a towel on my head and he jerked that off too. Then when I went to leave he followed me and cursed at me and then slammed the door as hard as he could. I just am scared that he has a problem and he might end up abusive. Is this just the beginning?

[Fr_Chuck]

He already is abusive and yes there is a problem. What he did already jurking the ear phones off, and so on, was abuse, the starting of it.

Yes, this is just the beginning, the more he gets away with the more he most likely will figure he can get by with. And as it goes on, you get "used" to it, he may even convince you that you deserve it.

[J_9]

I'd say that he is not only capable of being abusive, but he already is.

Having been there myself, I can only tell you that it will get worse. He will tell you he is sorry and that he will never do it again, but it will happen again.

Time to reconsider this marriage before you end up a statistic.

[talaniman]

You need to leave, and reevaluate this relationship. Because he won't go to counseling doesn't mean you can't go.

[douapuncte]

You realise that a child is abig responsibility for a father.Your husbant may not be as strong as he wants to apear.He doesn't know how to treat you and your child so he keeps this tuff guy show.He may think that he isn't ready for a child and that he mede a mistake and that brough him down,he snapped under the pressure of being a father.Don't treat him like an sick person,try to make him understand that the child needs a father to help him in his problems and feel his love an all.Don't give him a deadline or put more pressure,he needs you more than he needs counciling from a doctor.Ever thought that he may be gelous on the child for getting all of your attention?TALK TO HIM AND TRY TO SOLVE THIS,TOU DON'T WANT TO RAISE A CHILD WITH NO FATHER,TRUST ME,THINK AT YOUR CHILD,AT HIS FUTURE.I'm sure that you'll do the right thing for your child,GOOD LUCK!

[talaniman]

Is he capable of being abusive?
Obviously, the answer is yes.
Is this just the beginning??
Yes it will get worse, unless he gets help, but that's something he must do. You may be in danger, and need to protect you, and your child.

[EIFS EXPERT]

Call The Police!

He obviously assaulted you. It is illegal to threaten anyone. If he says I'm going to kill you, HE IS BREAKING THE LAW! Call the cops. You don't want to be punched in the face in front of your kid. You have got to protect yourself and your child from that violence.

[bushg]

1. Popping your son... You do nothing
2. Threats to hit you in the face... You do nothing
3. Breaks something of yours. You do nothing
4. Jerks towel off your head. You do nothing.
Each time this rage is going to build and he will have to do more to you or your son to release it. This is just the beginning. DO something.

[simoneaugie]

Your husband sounds not only abusive but irritable and depressed. He does want your help to feel better, since he isn't able to feel better on his own. Get out of there for a while, or, better yet, ask him to leave. If you are afraid that you or your son will be hurt if you ask him to leave, have him removed. He will have to solve the problem on his own because his anger issues present a danger to you and your child.

[CarolinaChick]

Thanks to everyone for the advice. He has been gone since Sunday night. Everything has been going pretty well actually. He picked up our child from daycare and spent some time with him last night. I do love him and care about him but I am not sure how to make things right again. Maybe we just need some time apart and then counseling.

[N0help4u]

RUN even IF you have to go to a women's abuse shelter or somewhere he can't find you.
It only gets worse and he will not listen to any reasoning.
Don't tell him... look at how many women, even just since Lacey Peterson, have been killed because they, most probably, told the guy they were leaving him.
My ex was into drugs way more than the little 'pot' he told me about and found out 6 years later that he was also bi-polar. I made excuses for putting up with his abuses and it only got worse. At the same time I tried reasoning with him and 'working it out' but it is impossible when they see you as the one with the problem or the one at fault.
Many guys have an attitude that they are male, they are supreme and they can do whatever they want and you are too in love and frail to do anything about it so they have the upper hand. That in itself is enough to run because their idea of love is abusive.
I agree with simon if you can't leave have him removed and change locks, get a PFA, ask neighbors to watch your back, etc...
Once you leave if he will get help and you can see he is sincere and you see a positive improvement, you can work on your relationship. You have to think of your child too. With a temper like that nobody can guarantee he will not wind up putting him in the hospital. A temper like that can't be controlled even by him under the current circumstances. I went through it for 7 years, it only gets worse with time if he doesn't get help.

[LearningAsIGo]

He's already abusive, hun. Please seek help immediately to protect yourself and your child.

[N0help4u]

I agree with everybody he already IS abusive! Trust me right now he is holding back his abuse because he wants you to '*grow use*' to it and have you 'fall' for him enough that you can't bring yourself to leave OR until your lives are so meshed that it would make it harder to leave.

[CarolinaChick]

Like I said we aren't together. He has been out of the house since Sunday.