[allibabii]

My boyfriend seems to have gone off me!We've been together almost a year.. at first we had sex so much but wev both gained some to weight over the year... and I feel so unsexy.I spent 100e in La Senza yesterday because he pointed out a babydoll that he liked... so this morning I put it on and asked his opinion and all he said was "its alright".
Hes stopped being romantic,at first we would write each other love letters... small gifts... etc... but that's all stopped...
I feel so unwanted... Please help!Is there anything I can do?

[hollylovesbrandon]

Just because he stopped with the romantic stuff doesn't mean you have to. Keep trying and maybe it'll spark something in him to start being romantic again. But most importantly, make sure you talk to him about this. No problem can be resolved if the issue is not discussed. I have been in a relationship for 5 years now and there's no way we would have made it this far without talking about these things. Tell him what you feel. Maybe things will work out.

[Choux]

It is a fact that the sexual excitement of a new relationship diminishes over time; a recent study found that initial excitement is gone within two years.

If you don't have any mutual interests such as hobbies and sports you enjoy together, that puts a lot of strain on your sexuality to carry the relationship and entertain you both. In fact, I don't see how it can if you both are your authentic selves.

If you feel you each haven't developed yourselves in different positive areas in order to have a happy life(education, sports, hobbies, friendships, etc), it is probably time to do so. The goal for a person's life is to be happy, and in order to be happy, a person has to have many interests; the more you bring to a relationship, the better that relationship is- including being fabulously orgasmic. :)

Best wishes in the coming year,

[Fr_Chuck]

Sadly if a couple does not work hard on it, sex drives and all of the attention ends in that year or two, so what you are saying is amost normal. With that said, also with him also gaining weight, he may not have as much energy and he may have less sex drive personally hisself.

Talk, talk and talk, did you ask him why he just said that. Are you being as romantic yourself

It takes a lot of work to keep that spark going

[kp2171]

Just piling on in agreement...

Its easy when you are chasing I'm and he's chasing you early on.

Once you are caught, the charge of having everything new wears off. It takes work.

You get into ruts. There are lulls in the action. People get busy, get sick, get distracted.

You make it important and you talk to your partner. Not about hurt feelings. Not about accusations. Talk about what you like and want. Ask him what he likes and wants.

Sometimes it takes a little effort... and once you both start talking about sex without it being a problem, you'll continue to do so.

So... yes it happens. Yes you can do things about it. No guarantees he will step up to the plate.

[smoothy]

It takes two for it to keep going at a good level.

Try talking to him, but don't just give up. Try some new things... get him to talk about the sorts of things he likes. You don't have to do or even try everything he suggests. Only what you are comfortable with. Same with him. But it does take two.

I've been married 17 years, While we haven't gone at it 3 times a day since the first month we were married we do still go at it once a day, practically every day. We have a collection of things we try that one or the other of us likes... and every once in a while when either of us has the urge we do that. Some are distasteful to one person or other but the point is WE don't have problems with them. Some things really get the other off, and some really get us both off. Its better now than it was the first few years. Yeah there may be a lull at the beginning before both of you are really comfortable enough with each other to explore them, but after the basic stuff gets dull.

Point being you CAN keep it exciting if you BOTH work at it.