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    nnllss's Avatar
    nnllss Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 12, 2008, 06:41 PM
    Need to have a close friend but doesn't seem logic
    Hi every body,

    I broke up my friendship with a distant friend 2 month ago. Now I don't have any close friend , nowadays I have to pass a relative big-important exam ,so I don't go anywhere except library and that's all, I don't have any job now , and I don't want to have now , because I have to study too much, but I feel I'm going empty inside , I feel I'm alone ,I made blog , I found net friend,but I think they don't make my feeling good.

    What did you do if you were in my situation?
    Stratmando's Avatar
    Stratmando Posts: 11,188, Reputation: 508
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jan 12, 2008, 07:16 PM
    Getting a job may introduce you to new friends, find something you like first, if no luck, find something you can do. If you can't do anything. Find a job where you get to work around what you like, for bottom or low dollar, then learn. Has worked for me.
    You will be paid to learn.
    Figure your day into 1/3rds. 1/3rd sleep, 1/3 work, 1/3 school. The weekend is your days off. You will get time later.
    There are some Nice smart girls in the Library sometimes...
    Good Luck
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 12, 2008, 07:17 PM
    It is often hard to make friends, esp if you are ptting a lot of time into study. But people from your class, people who lives near you.
    What about people from your place of worship ?
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #4

    Jan 12, 2008, 07:22 PM
    Be careful about online friendships... lots of people only pretend and play games online...

    Do something fun for yourself if you can besides too much study, so that you can feel fresher about going back at it again...

    Focus on getting those tests done and how life will be easier after that and you'll have more time to develop and enjoy friendships.
    nnllss's Avatar
    nnllss Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 12, 2008, 09:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stratmando
    Getting a job may introduce you to new friends, find something you like first, if no luck, find something you can do. If you can't do anything. find a job where you get to work around what you like, for bottom or low dollar, then learn. Has worked for me.
    You will be paid to learn.
    Figure your day into 1/3rds. 1/3rd sleep, 1/3 work, 1/3 school. The weekend is your days off. You will get time later.
    Their are some Nice smart girls in the Library sometimes...
    Good Luck

    Thank you so much for your quote.
    nnllss's Avatar
    nnllss Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Jan 12, 2008, 09:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    It is often hard to make friends, esp if you are ptting alot of time into study. But people from your class, peopel who lives near you.
    What about people from your place of worship ?

    It's not nagging about what I am,just answering your question; I'm new in this country so I don't have classmate yet,and I just study by myself till exam, -- I am interested about knowing and talking with christian people sometimes but I waited yet,you know,who doesn't have job usually is in low income category so I read bible instead, I've failed once already so I don't want it happen again,I have to save all my time and money.
    nnllss's Avatar
    nnllss Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jan 12, 2008, 09:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by oneguyinohio
    be careful about online friendships... lots of people only pretend and play games online...

    Do something fun for yourself if you can besides too much study, so that you can feel fresher about going back at it again...

    Focus on getting those tests done and how life will be easier after that and you'll have more time to develop and enjoy friendships.

    Thank you ,Thank you
    rob453's Avatar
    rob453 Posts: 34, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Jan 15, 2008, 09:54 PM
    Breakking with someone, whether friendship or deep relationship is not an event but a process. Its normal that you may feel absence for a while, but it should pass, once you make new friends.

    I am from another country too and I know how hard is to keep in contact with old friends. But when I made some new friends here, I learned soething about old friends and do not feel bad after ditching some of them. If you were dependent on old friend or friend of you, you might not know true value of friendship. Most people here in the states and other western sociates are "independent" and so friendships. Friends come and go, but I am sure you'll meet some friends for the rest of your life. Trey to avoid asking new introduced people about favors, especially if they are new. That can make frienships very strained and uncomfortable. Just focus on conversations and having fun. Eventually people will grow to like you. Don't ever accuse anyone if someone does not want to hang out or missed appointment or something like that. Ex. I had a friend from old country, who sent me once email why I haven't wrote email to him for almost a year. He should just send me an email and ask me how am I doing. Whenever I wrote him email, he responded with very little, few words. That's why it made hard for me to him with him in touch and don't feel bad about abonding this "friendship".
    lacuran8626's Avatar
    lacuran8626 Posts: 270, Reputation: 57
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    #9

    Feb 5, 2008, 09:49 PM
    Focus on what you do have. A very fortunate person might have a handful of close friends in an entire lifetime and for some of us it's harder to find those people than it is for others.

    When I say focus on what you do have, I mean instead of feeling badly that you don't have close friends, perhaps spend time with your family doing some things where you might have an opportunity to meet some other people. Do you belong to a church? Are there things you can sign up for at school where you would share an interest with other people? It sounds like you are learning English... are there places where people from your country of origin socialize where you might find communication easier and more natural?

    Online friendships often don't go any further. And if you are shy, perhaps stretch yourself to join a program like toastmasters, where you learn to get comfortable speaking in front of other people. Or, start a study group for this test that's coming up. Just announce in class, "I'm looking for people to study with at Starbucks. If you want to share notes and share the pain of getting ready for this test, please see me after class and we'll figure out the details." Shy? Too bad... sometimes you have to push yourself a bit!

    And know that your good friends are out there, you just haven't found them yet. Don't get too upset.
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,099, Reputation: 236
    Ultra Member
     
    #10

    Feb 5, 2008, 09:53 PM
    nnllss asks: "what did you do if you were in my situation?" Go to your local hospital, nursing home, senior center, or library and volunteer four hours per week.

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