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tylo · Jan 9, 2008, 02:40 PM

Guys, after 8 yrs I'm still waiting on the proposal.

I can't figure out why he hasn't done it yet, I know he loves me and we both want to be together the rest of our lives??

So when you fall in love with someone, what makes you ask the question?

Do men think that if theyr in love they should propose? Is that an automatic thing?

I'm contemplating asking instead, getting fed up of waiting!

What's mens views on being asked? And how would you like to be proposed to?

BTW I'm won't be asking with an engagement ring, I will be proposing with a new breitling watch! So I will still be expecting a ring at some point! Lol

Thanks guys

N0help4u · Jan 9, 2008, 02:51 PM

I wouldn't go so far as buying a watch. You been together 8 years and the subject never came up?? At this point he may be happy with you because you haven't been pushing an issue he is totally *allergic reaction* to. Buying a watch may be a waste of time and money.
I would first bring up the subject like "So what are your thoughts on marriage" "What do you think of us getting married someday?" or even "Why don't we get married?"

mjl · Jan 9, 2008, 03:00 PM

I agree with nohelp4u. How can you let 8 years pass without bringing up that conversation. I find that hard to believe.
Just talk to him. Ask him how he feels about it.

terellowens · Jan 9, 2008, 03:06 PM

I agree with the above comments after 3 years I think I would cut to the chase 8 years is way too long for this subject not to come up

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2008, 03:11 PM

Well first are you living together? If so that is often most of the problem, since couples get into ruts often.

But yes, getting married is not normally like on TV where the guy buys a ring and surprises the girl, it is a plan that they both talk out and discuss.

mjl · Jan 9, 2008, 03:32 PM

How would couples get into ruts from living together before marriage? I actually recommend living together before marriage, I found it better prepared us for married life.

tylo · Jan 9, 2008, 03:48 PM

Thanks everyone(what a bunch of sensitive guys, I'm positively surprised!),

I think everyone is reading into the 'have you talked about it' factor too much.

I am merely asking...
Regardless of how long we have been together, regardless of the watch...

What makes a man propose?
Is it a built in thing, that they just decide one day?
Do they do it because they are constantly prompted? (even after discussions and agreeing)
Do men have a complex about being asked rather than asking?
And, for ideas... how would you like to be proposed to?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2008, 04:17 PM

Couples married or not, get into ruts, there are stanges in most normal relastionships, committted ones get though them, others don't.

talaniman · Jan 9, 2008, 06:32 PM

The whole point of getting with my now wife, was a life long partnership and building a life together, and after a couple of years, and yes maybe a year of living together, we took the next logical step. I think after 8 years, your man is in a comfort zone, and doesn't want to rock the boat.

N0help4u · Jan 9, 2008, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by tylo

what makes a man propose?

I have never seen or heard of a guy 'proposing' since the 70's any more normally it seems to be an on going conversation about wanting to do it 'someday'
And then they just decide to pick a date and do it.

donf · Jan 9, 2008, 07:33 PM

Tylo,

I was kind of proposed to?

My future wife called me one weekend and asked what I was doing the coming weekend. I said nothing. She said, want to get married? I said, sure, why not.

Worked out fine for us! Does this answer your question?

mjl · Jan 9, 2008, 07:48 PM

My husband proposed to me. He got down on one knee and did the whole traditional thing. It was sweet.

N0help4u · Jan 9, 2008, 08:11 PM

I did hear of putting a ring in a rose and the rose blooming during dinner.

I guess this may be worth a try??
(the site uses she and give her... u'll have to drop the s/he and he/r reading it)

Romantic Marriage Proposal Ideas

Let us know all about it

tylo · Jan 10, 2008, 09:51 AM

I've just suddenly realised that I might be living my life all wrong!

After 8 years, has this just come to a dead end? I know I love him and he loves me, but I can't continue this relationship always hoping for more.

Does this mean this is a pointless exercise? I can't imagine though, that thinking the last eight ears has been a waste. Or am I just living in a dream world.

Being alone terrifies me

N0help4u · Jan 10, 2008, 09:58 AM

If you have a great relationship why throw it away if he doesn't want to marry you??
Heck I was married in 1984 and my ex turned out to be pure JERK. I ended up separated
By 1989 and divorced by 1996.
I haven't found a decent guy since so maybe count your blessings and be happy with what you do have.
It can't hurt to ask him about getting married.
Talk to him, ask him what all the options would be that he feels comfortable with.

NeedKarma · Jan 10, 2008, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

I have never seen or heard of a guy 'proposing' since the 70's any more normally it seems to be an on going conversation about wanting to do it 'someday'
and then they just decide to pick a date and do it.

Right here.

12 years ago mind you. I am by far the more romantic one of the two of us.